73span @73span
RIP megalodon. Joined January 2015-
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I got here one min late...she's not here. Still within the 4 min window of her late text
...at the double tree. Which means she's eaten there previously and still returned
Just left the doubletree...en route to dinner. Overheard a girl tell her friend "everything tastes the same here.." In regards to the food
What should I open with? I need a story of how kind I am, but I have none!!!
Decided against getting condoms. #safestsexisNOsex
To be clear, I'm still at the double tree..that warning was premature
Game time. I might only be able to tweet if the date is bombing or she goes to the bathroom.
Reservation is in 7 min. Do I leave this doubletree? It's so warm here. No one judges
Realized I mixed extra strength exedrin with alcohol!!!??! Is that bad? What if I accidentally overdose in the middle of dinner
Or perhaps I casually inform the waitress the pass the courvoisier.
You can be anyone you want on a first date..I know she only drinks wine, plus she's older, so maybe I really fucking love wine tonight
For some reason I can stop humming "call me maybe" in my mind...fuck you Carly Rae Jepsen
Dating is weird, maybe I'll meet someone new at the doubletree hotel bar, which is flanked by a pizza counter to its immediate left
@73span date texts that she is "running 5 min late" .. I text back "no problem" #doubletree #likeaboss #casualFRIDAYS
Double tree by Hilton hotel bar? WHY THE FUCk not!! ✔️
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