CUM News @CUMnewsNET
Can’t Unsee Media news channel. We know it spells out “cum” but we don’t know how to change it Joined September 2022-
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“I mean those things were massive,” said Patrick’s unnamed friend, while pantomiming juggling large breasts on his own chest. “Those gazongas really got me hard in the paint. I wanted to dribble my balls…” he trailed off as our CUM reporter quietly snuck away from the pervert.
The singer told CUM in a silly British accent that the ‘farewell’ from his farewell tour meant not only from music, but from life itself. John became excited & began wiggling his fingers when he described his euthanasia plan: drowning in a giant vat of beans just like his father.
A tragedy struck on the waning days of 2022 when beloved tv host Barbara Walters died at age 93 after being stung to death by a wrathful swarm of bees. Police believe foul play is at work and are not giving further information at this time, as the investigation is ongoing.
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