Colonial Problems @ColonialProblem
New World, New Problemz. Jamestown, VA Joined June 2011-
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If you are a modern-day female rocking a low ponytail, you look like a colonial man. FYI. #ColonialProblems
If I ride on top whilst fornicating, I will not be with child. 'Tis physics! #ColonialProblems
Independence. #winning #ColonialProblems
The only thing more humid than summer in the south is my undercarriage in the summer. #ColonialProblems
I'd give you a tour of my Georgian Colonial home, but I only ever get to see the kitchen and the bedroom ceiling. Sometimes the floor.
It's not truly summer here in Colonial Williamsburg until the humid air smells of wondrous outhouse and defecation. #ColonialProblems
Does being a pilgrim make me like a CEO? Oh wait, I'm a woman...never mind! #ColonialProblems
I'm getting famous about as quickly as the May Flower got to the New World. #ColonialProblems
Colonizing Osama's cave...AT LAST. #ColonialProblems
My general rule of thumb for the Royal Wedding is to bring as many wardrobe changes as I do slaves. #ColonialProblems
I used to have daddy issues too...until I divorced him. #ColonialProblems
'Tis sexually frustration like tonights where I'm thankful for the conveniently-shaped other end of my pitchfork. #winning #ColonialProblems
Just slept through my own witch trial. Happy 4/20. #ColonialProblems
Either Abe Lincoln is living in my under garments or I need to invest in a razor... #ColonialProblems
Not serving alcohol at the pub? Prohibition is the ultimate cock-block. #ColonialProblems
NESCAC (Natives Encourage Scalping Colonial Anglo Chicks). #ColonialProblems
I got 99 problems, and they all witches. #ColonialProblems
It's Britney, Witch. #ColonialProblems
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