Connor Stout @ConnorStout

Music, Opera, Amateur Twitter Comedian. Tweeting from the toilet, mostly. Relentlessly Positive, Unapologetically Optimistic. Joined December 2011

Tweets

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295
Following

335
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Connor Stout @ConnorStout

2 years ago

Anyone who loved the submersible should be a Formula 1 fan. 5 billionaires in a submarine? Not exciting at all. How about 20 young millionaires strapped to land rockets and like 5 of them suck at driving? I’ll watch that 23 times a year.

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Connor Stout @ConnorStout

2 years ago

@MPopCraves @Alexandria101_ She’s an adult woman.

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Connor Stout @ConnorStout

2 years ago

I might have been at a Rise Against show, but the farting person in front of me was Rancid.

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Connor Stout @ConnorStout

2 years ago

Turnstile plus CKY equals Drug Church?

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Connor Stout @ConnorStout

2 years ago

@kourtneyinhell I mean shit. Does she tho?

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Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel

2 years ago

I’m no longer sorry. This is actually the only good thing I’ve ever made.

Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel

4 years ago

Sorry I made this.

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Connor Stout @ConnorStout

2 years ago

Drinking bone broth in the mornings is a lot like doing CrossFit. Unless I tell you, you will never know

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Connor Stout @ConnorStout

2 years ago

Sometimes it really breaks my heart how fucking bad the Blue Jackets are.

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Rick Wilson @TheRickWilson

3 years ago

Well, I did not have “J.D. Vance searches for dolphin porn” on my Saturday night bingo card, but here we are. Rule 34 never fails.

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Connor Stout @ConnorStout

3 years ago

It would be so sick if every religion got to have a Super Bowl commercial.

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Connor Stout @ConnorStout

3 years ago

@DevonESawa Stan Lake City Punk

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Connor Stout @ConnorStout

3 years ago

This is the year of teams. I don’t want a relationship, a partnership, friendship, or a group project- I want fucking teammates. If we aren’t all in this together, then we aren’t in it at all.

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Connor Stout @ConnorStout

3 years ago

Hey are you The Promise Ring’s seminal 1997 album? Because nothing feels good.

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Connor Stout @ConnorStout

3 years ago

@_caseadilla @DeanScorpion_ These books helped me see dirty phrases in every sign with removable letters.

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Connor Stout @ConnorStout

3 years ago

Unequivocally the best 90’s cartoon.

Horror4Kids @horror4kids

3 years ago

Hey Arnold’s Mr. Hyunh was voiced by Baoan Coleman, a Vietnamese refugee & when show creator Craig Barlett brought the idea of Mr. Hyunh having to give up his daughter in ‘Arnold’s Christmas’, Coleman’s response was “You know what, I was there.” “That one session, we had

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Brad Henderson @BradFHenderson

3 years ago

One of the best edits I’ve ever seen.

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Connor Stout @ConnorStout

3 years ago

Bear vs. Shark in my headphones makes me feel like I’m grocery shopping with a 7 inch dick.

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Connor Stout @ConnorStout

3 years ago

You can always reply and THEN have the messages stop.

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Connor Stout @ConnorStout

3 years ago

@GabeInk My uncle and I once went to a strip club. He thought it would be fun to tell the dancers that I was a famous singer who taught Josh Groban everything he knows. And every single person replied, “Who is Josh Groban?”