David “Dave” Croatto @DaveCroatto
i was the first to call Target “Tar-jay” - and it’s made me a *very* wealthy man. Joined October 2013-
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There’s an alternate timeline where cancer gets cured because Inigo Montoya’s father died of leukemia
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The problem with comedy - especially visual jokes - is that it’s never as funny the second time. But holy shit - hats off to the cybertruck. Every single time I see one, it cracks me up like it’s the first time. An absolute masterpiece of rewatchable comedy!
Look for the helpers. And then film them. That heartwarming content can be monetized, allowing you to take your brand to the next level.
I don’t collect vinyl, and I don’t know how my brain’s wiring works - but every record store makes me want to own a nicer couch
“Okay, it’s just four years….” The last 48 hours have felt like 3 months
Waiting for the weekend to watch the election results with my boys - NO SPOILERS!
Huge night for American history buffs! Either getting our very first female President or very last democratic election!
Its easy to just ignore him entirely once you acknowledge that he’s a shitty boglin who isn’t debating anything in good faith
AHHHH shes back and she gagged ben shapiro like i dont think yall understand how obsessed i am
Jesus Christ, autocorrect, I never want to say “ducking”
Excited for Election Day to see what version of reality we vote for!
As a treat to my brain, sometimes i don’t check if it’s a Clickhole headline
Helen Mirren says she feels “sad” that Kurt Cobain is no longer alive because he never got the chance to experience GPS and its “magical” functionality. “I always say, it’s so sad that Kurt Cobain died when he did, because he never saw GPS,” Mirren said. “GPS is the most
David “Dave” Croatto retweeted
Helen Mirren says she feels “sad” that Kurt Cobain is no longer alive because he never got the chance to experience GPS and its “magical” functionality. “I always say, it’s so sad that Kurt Cobain died when he did, because he never saw GPS,” Mirren said. “GPS is the most wonderful thing, to watch my little blue spot walking down the street. I just find it completely magical and unbelievable.” Read more here: variety.com/2024/music/new…
Kamala’s donation requests are getting hyper-specific
There are 2 things Americans strongly believe in: not spending a lot on gas, and owning a car that gets 7 miles per gallon.
During these scary times in the Middle East, we NEED president Trump tweeting about how Sierra Mist is better than Mountain Dew and how something has to be done!!!!
@InternetHippo My new business card
Has anyone looked into the correlation between all the gun violence and all the guns?
That’s crazy - he’s her target audience!
To all the republicans who are now renouncing trump as unfit, unstable and untrustworthy - welcome to the winning team! Also, he’s always been like this and you always fucking knew it.
Kristen Mulrooney @missmulrooney
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Lillian Stone @originalspinstr
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Abby Barr @1AbbyRoad
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PRINCESS 👑Abigail ... @MaryLit79511015
588 Followers 2K Following Abigail The STORY Teller is a 17 year old story teller & poet who reads for kids & adults who can’t.Don’t allow anybody to make you feel like you are a nobody.
Ian Croatto @croatto_ia3734
0 Followers 11 Following
Annette K Donyes @Annettekdonyes
37 Followers 2K Following Hey y'all guys I'm kinda new on here trying to learn the apps lol I'm readt for new experiences wirh lives n emotions yepppp
Spencer D. Welch II @Blitzkrieg_T
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bradfordnsmith.bsky.s... @hireBRADFORD
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journogeek @thejournogeek
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37 Followers 785 Following
fawn ф ayala 🏳️... @pecuburi
196 Followers 1K Following comms open!! ╰૮˶- ﻌ •˶ა╯⋆˙⟡ Φ📖: @DEMONHElST (my fantasy comic staring a failgirl and a thiefking) (will post occasional suggestive art!)
Adam Bryant 🧱 @alaskalute
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Matt @buffjiang
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Shua Miller @shuamonkey
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Sam Apley @SamApley
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Jonathan B. @IronGold22
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Occidental Jefferson @LukesFather
448 Followers 997 Following Flying blind on a rocket cycle. Happy to be here. Hope I can help. (Taylor’s version)
Clark Tucker @theoldclark
150 Followers 259 Following
Sashankh @leosash
715 Followers 4K Following Loves tennis (RAFA, Murray, Halep & Venus mainly); love reading fiction (Agatha Christie, Maugham & Marquez are my fav)
Brian @BoriSswaG
189 Followers 2K Following “If these words come out too simple, please forgive my grammar”
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294 Followers 2K Following @phoenixrong.bsky.social. Socialist. Alkebulan. He/him. Pan. Pre-Law. 👨🍳🐀 a 2E. Fighting evil by moonlight 🌙
Erin Miller @ErinPMiller
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Bmooreisrad @SciMoore
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R2 Tweet 2 @Nineinchrails
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Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman
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884K Followers 4K Following it's this weird, sexual, anti-comedy comedy that's 'in' right now. - my mom
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broti gupta @BrotiGupta
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Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit
82K Followers 3K Following I write for TV and pick up my dog’s shit with a little bag.
McSweeney's @mcsweeneys
231K Followers 986 Following The official feed of McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, & McSweeney's Books. Publisher of @illustoria and @believermag.
David Roth @david_j_roth
116K Followers 4K Following https://t.co/z4uMny3wRQ. Also https://t.co/R9hld5jysP. Header art by Vicki Nerino.
Chef Reactions @ChefReactions
472K Followers 470 Following Extra Salty | Side of Sarcasm *BS allergy* that annoying, monotone chef from TikTok — CR x Hedley & Hat for Meals On Wheels 👇
Tom Vaughan @storyandplot
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Peter Romaskiewicz, P... @PRomaskiewicz
69 Followers 221 Following Rehabilitating from dissertation on medieval Chinese smell culture & religion, recent hummingbird whisperer, belated power lifter, husband to Cami
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Kelly Turnbull @Coelasquid
33K Followers 840 Following T1000 reprogrammed to make cartoons. Animation director and sometimes comicsmith. From the part of Canada where they make the stereotypes. Opinions are my own
Giles Paley-Phillips @eliistender10
362K Followers 87K Following I write books, films & produce. Half @forgotpodcast @unquestionpod @blankpod founder @eightdigitsltd Ambassador for @actionaidUK Repped by @WGMAtlantic @CPFC
John Fetterman @JohnFetterman
853K Followers 4K Following Dad, husband to @GiseleFetterman, U.S. Senator for the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and author of UNFETTERED. For official updates, follow @SenFettermanPA 🇺🇸
Mitchel Berry @MitchelsBerries
105 Followers 1K Following Overweight Underachiever. JD power award for stand up comedy two years in a row. Amateur comedy writer. Professional dipshit.
nick griffin @thenickgriffin
18K Followers 6K Following https://t.co/al4O0qbzSP i am a comedian. Conan. Colbert. Letterman. I have a special on amazon. #CheerUp. Also a horror podcast on iTunes called Scary Monsters.
Liz Alterman @LizAlterman
2K Followers 2K Following Author of SAD SACKED, THE PERFECT NEIGHBORHOOD, HE'LL BE WAITING Probably microwaving the same cup of coffee & looking up synonyms
Phoenix Rong @Ch1KeronS
294 Followers 2K Following @phoenixrong.bsky.social. Socialist. Alkebulan. He/him. Pan. Pre-Law. 👨🍳🐀 a 2E. Fighting evil by moonlight 🌙
Joe Pera @JosephPera
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Mac O’Hara @OHaraMac
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Galactic Snackin' Len... @z0mbievalentine
157 Followers 136 Following freelance illustrator and designer art-only feed @lenafisher_art [email protected] portfolio etc ⬇
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139K Followers 47 Following #BringaTrailer Auctions are the best way to buy and sell classic, collector, and enthusiast vehicles.
Alice Stanley Jr. �... @AStanJr
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Daryl "Ridged Chips" ... @hypercubexl
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exZACKtly @ZackPeercy
414 Followers 590 Following disabled playwright/screenwriter, comedian(?), doofus. he/him.
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207 Followers 557 Following film, television, concerts, theater, comedy, and pop culture obsessed
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301 Followers 2K Following Former Canadian children's animated series -.. --- -. .----. - / -.-- --- ..- / . ...- . .-. / - . .-.. .-.. / -- . / .... --- .-- / - --- / .-.. .. ...- .
Eliza Cossio @elizacossio
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actual heathcliff com... @RealHeathcliffs
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Josh Siegal @JoshSiegal
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Marcos González 🇵... @polosmarcos
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32K Followers 776 Following Filling in for Remington Alexander who is on vacation.
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760 Followers 96 Following VP & Exec Editor Young Reader & Talent Development DC Entertainment
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Random House Children... @randomhousekids
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Dan Schoening @dannyschoening
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Kelly Bachman @bellykachman
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ً @NotJosephGarcia
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Rad Sechrist @radsechrist
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Rob Israel @robisraelart
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LT
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