DavidDFunny @DavidDFunny
Just your average person who likes to make others laugh or groan with jokes and memes | My main account: @DavidD1094 | PFP art by adrianthethey New Jersey Joined June 2021-
Tweets3K
-
Followers44
-
Following87
-
Likes59
"I can't find a cause for your illness", the doctor told his patient, "Frankly, I think it may be due to drinking" "In that case" replied the patient, "I'll come back when you're sober"
0
0
0
25
0
View Details
I never fucked a 10. But one night I fucked five 2’s, and I think that should count.
My 7-year-old nephew asked me to take him to McDonald's. I told him if he can spell it, I'll take him. He said, "Fuck it, take me to KFC."
A 9 year old girl is digging through her mother’s purse, and sees her driver’s license. She then says “Mommy, I know why daddy divorced you” The girl explains “because you got an F in sex”
Bad Software engineers are great at sex. Because they need to do many pushes and their releases are delayed.
My therapist just told me: "From now on, please make an effort to forget all the people who have hurt you." I replied: "I will." Then she told me: "Today's appointment is 500 dollars." I asked her: "Do I know you?"
Doctor: "The problem is that you sit too much during the day." Me: "I understand." Doctor: "That’s exactly right."
Her: “Pencils can be as sharp as a knife. Why are they allowed on planes?” Me: "I guess they had to draw the line somewhere."
What do you call it when Albert Einstein gets a hand job? A stroke of genius
What disease do you get from having sex in the ocean? Mermaids
Superman calls to Lois Lane, "Lois come in here a second! I want you to see something." Lois comes into the room and says, "What is it?" Superman points across the room at their dog, whom he has dressed up with glasses and a tie. Lois says, "... who the hell is that?"
My friend lost his job at the soy sauce factory. I wanted to make a joke about losing such a great job, but I don't like to kikoman when he's down.
Scientists have confirmed that tuna ages five times faster than humans. That’s because tuna half hours = 150 minutes.
Optimist: "The glass is 1/2 full" Pessimist: "The glass is half empty" Excel: "The glass is January second"
Linkedin is the complete opposite of Tinder. On Linkedin, beautiful girls message nerdy guys without getting any replies.
My son’s teacher thinks my son has a low IQ judging by his homework. That’s absurd! My son is perfectly normal! I did his homework.
The sales guy kept pushing, though I’d already said “No”, many times. So I shouted, “Non!” “Net!” “Nein!” But he wouldn’t take No foreign answer.
The guy who picked on me all through high school and then became a millionaire just placed a delivery order at KFC. Now I get the last laugh. I gave him original recipe when he ordered extra crispy. Checkmate John, you fucking loser.
Whenever I tell someone I slept like a baby they always seem pleased. I should probably find a different metaphor for waking up at 3am screaming and covered in my own piss.
Wife: "I can't believe you went to a prostitute to have sex." Husband: "What did you expect? We'd been doing nothing for months..." Wife: "You could have told me you were willing to pay."
Eroudi @Eroudi131
0 Followers 73 Following 🇺🇸 Freedom lives here. I like dancing 💃, cooking 🍳, fitness 💪, and traveling ✈️. Find your joy.
Just a passing user @Meepymcmeeps
8 Followers 92 Following
Gifigi600🐡🦀🔪... @MGifigi600
229 Followers 587 Following Hi, I'm Gif I like blue haired characters | I draw stuff, go see it | multifandom. VERY | https://t.co/XfapoF6fI5 for art
deepak paryani @deepakparyani71
313 Followers 5K Following
Vichuzzzzz @vavalovemster1
282 Followers 3K Following I am a gay. gay porn acting interested. nudisam, high fly, fantasy play
Emily jhonson @emily_johnsonvt
38 Followers 626 Following "Virtual adventures await! 🎮 Join me,Emily jhonson , as we explore gaming realms together. Let's level up and have fun! 🚀 #VTuber #GamerLife"
Kiru @lover_tml
192 Followers 826 Following I'm a silly goober who loves art, anime, plushies, DR and fangans, milgram, and a bunch of other things! Director/Creator of: @HourPhoenix Pfp by: @KokkunRimu
Deer @DeerDearSpirit
12 Followers 31 Following
BriTheCookieMonster @BriTheCookie
90 Followers 473 Following Hey! Name’s Bri! I’m an aspiring digital artist and I wish to animate in the future!
MaKhoza🍯 @jaytcoza
67K Followers 12K Following I'm not easy to deal with but I do bring tons of value.I bring love & strength,but I’m not perfect & if I don't fit in with a person/group that’s okay with me.
mohamed elbakry @mohamed_e_bakry
5 Followers 482 Following
nick 🏳️🌈 �... @libromancerfire
147 Followers 585 Following 28, he/him, bi as eff, into music, writing and nerdy shit #BlackLivesMatter #TransLiberationNow
Professor Berch @ProfessorBerch1
174 Followers 822 Following
osama @Osama_aljaradi
228 Followers 3K Following
Pantofül Pami @Sonja66212547
119 Followers 661 Following my puppy, I love her! A little slice of chocolate . Béke, szeretet, elfogadás, egyenlőség, együttérzés! Környezetvédelem. Mentsük meg az állatokat! Földünket!
GamerBro @ThatGamerBro1
37 Followers 372 Following
RobScott36 @RobScott36
135 Followers 143 Following I am here looking for friends and new experiences. If you aren't genuine, thank you, but kindly move on.
DeanOfRock @DeanOfRock1
139 Followers 471 Following Working or relaxing, I always appreciate you listening to me on Buffalo’s Real Rock 929 WBUF
Zeldanerdster @zeldanerdster
29 Followers 610 Following Had a twitter once. Deleted it. Now I'm back for memes and coupons. Hooray!
AJ @noodlehairAJ
47 Followers 132 Following 20 / ENTP / London / aspiring 3D Animator & Game Designer / bookworm / fashion enthusiast / artist
💙Blue|NIKKE/ZZZ En... @MonoBluma
144 Followers 297 Following ♂️33 |Bisexual| Hello! I Enjoy Danganronpa|Pokemon|Persona|Scottish|#Myth5ever|#NIKKE|New ZZZ Player|Vtubers💙
Natalie|Ugc Creator @natondeckugc
7K Followers 6K Following Hi I’m a #Ugc content creator! I work with brands on delivering genuine content that will have their audience running to check out! 💌[email protected]
FadoodleRulez✊🏾 @FadoodleRulez
26 Followers 178 Following WoW is love. Wow is life. WWE is my passion. Blink, ARMY, Monbebe, STAY, Wenee, TOMOON, NCTzen, WayZennie, Atiny, MIDZY, Shawol, MOA, LyOn.... LOK'TAR OGAR
DavidDSpam @DavidD1094
118 Followers 940 Following Spam about many topics but it'll mostly be gaming. | NBA and WWE fan | My funny account: @DavidDFunny | Profile PFP art done by kirufuuta215 on Discord
Mikechamp97 @mikechamp97
128 Followers 393 Following basic average streamer who finally got affiliate. Plays variety stuff, if I get hooked streaming a series expect a lot of stream uptime https://t.co/fyaalZfYRV
TheRatLuckySoups🍀�... @SuperNova_2024
39 Followers 63 Following Artist~~Photographer~~Gamer~~he,they~~Socially awkward~~😎👌🏻~~streamer
🐸✨Odorible🏳�... @odorible
580 Followers 3K Following ♊️/31/♀ Your local Frog Princess of the Fae Grotto-turned-Froggubus🍑☠️🖤🐸 || 👁️@puripradoo Banner @MilkyCrystalWay||🔞@odorilewd
Magitek 🐸⭕ @magitekwarriors
467 Followers 2K Following 33 • She/They • Bi 🩷💜💙 • AuDHD • Games/Cats/Music/Coffee 🎮🐈☕ • #DechartGames #ConnorArmy 🤖💙 • @MaverickLCannon ❤️
Daraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... @DaraActualTrash
211 Followers 547 Following Dara not Darragh pfp by @Leopold_0807
Bridget E. Kelly @bridgetekelly
30K Followers 29K Following Global citizen working every day to eradicate poverty by empowering women and children. Riding on a blue wave. #Resist #VoteBlue 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
King Cheese🧀 @Cheesey_King
72 Followers 276 Following hi. I tweet sometimes I like persona, spider-man, fnaf, deadlock and a lot of other stuff
Gifigi600🐡🦀🔪... @MGifigi600
229 Followers 587 Following Hi, I'm Gif I like blue haired characters | I draw stuff, go see it | multifandom. VERY | https://t.co/XfapoF6fI5 for art
Twonks @twonkscomics
38K Followers 125 Following Official Twonks page. Comics and cartoons by Steve Nelson @snelse_ Manager: [email protected]
The Onion @TheOnion
10.6M Followers 13 Following America's Finest News Source. Get the paper delivered to your door: https://t.co/jJP2Apbhe8. Signup for The Onion newsletter https://t.co/koxBGNkhqO
Ryan Kramer @ToonholeRyan
18K Followers 922 Following Directing/writing/storyboards/head of story/producer = what I do professionally. Mostly here to post my comics and cartoons tho. email: [email protected] ✌️
Steve Nelson @snelse_
2K Followers 545 Following Illustrator and cartoonist. Creator of @twonkscomics
Kiru @lover_tml
192 Followers 826 Following I'm a silly goober who loves art, anime, plushies, DR and fangans, milgram, and a bunch of other things! Director/Creator of: @HourPhoenix Pfp by: @KokkunRimu
Deer @DeerDearSpirit
12 Followers 31 Following
SMBC Comics @SMBCComics
23K Followers 92 Following SMBC is a daily ongoing webcomic about science, people, the universe, and the weird stuff they generate.
DEFUNCT - Thumbles_Co... @Thumbles_Comic
179 Followers 215 Following Leaving this app forever. please try instagram, Reddit, or my website: @thumbles_comic /u/thumbles_comic or https://t.co/lBYCCOmRMZ
BriTheCookieMonster @BriTheCookie
90 Followers 473 Following Hey! Name’s Bri! I’m an aspiring digital artist and I wish to animate in the future!
MyGumsAreBleeding @BleedingGumsArt
586 Followers 0 Following Starving artist, but I'm totally willing to sell out if you've got the cash. CalArts. Currently enrolled in a 4 year student loan repayment program.
Emily Graham @_Rose_Graham
1K Followers 3K Following - 29 - Drinks Tea - I may request commissions | 🏳️⚧️ Profile Pic: @Cruuuuuuus Banner: @Railgun_04 BSky: https://t.co/4PyWkCNlCg
Carmen Lagala @CarmenLagala
7K Followers 2K Following Rootin tootin comedian! @carmstagrams on Instagrams and Threads Full stand-up special on YouTube, link below ⬇️
MaKhoza🍯 @jaytcoza
67K Followers 12K Following I'm not easy to deal with but I do bring tons of value.I bring love & strength,but I’m not perfect & if I don't fit in with a person/group that’s okay with me.
Jon Fortenbury @jonwrites
1K Followers 2K Following Creator of @justjoncomic. My short film, Nobody's Perfect, premiered at Austin Film Festival '23. Words in @TheAtlantic, @TwoCentsPBS, @PointsinCase, etc.
Grizz ☘️🐻 | �... @gurrizzly
1K Followers 2K Following Lewdsome Irish Vtubear | He/Him | 29 | DMs Open! | MDNI 🔞 | PFP - @viper1aa
nick 🏳️🌈 �... @libromancerfire
147 Followers 585 Following 28, he/him, bi as eff, into music, writing and nerdy shit #BlackLivesMatter #TransLiberationNow
Octagon Game Studio �... @octagon_game_st
136K Followers 117K Following #OctoMaze is puzzle game with new game mechanics! https://t.co/pjQMVllO56… https://t.co/FRHJhVoJRz #puzzlegame #gamedev
WeebyNewzCrewServerOO... @WeebyNewz_OOC
32 Followers 2 Following Hey Guys WeebyNewz here! Redone Twitter account for OOC moments from the YouTuber @WeebyNewz and from her loving community! Account host: @CloverWizard03
Just Jon @justjoncomic
497 Followers 716 Following A sad-but-funny comic. Written by @jonwrites who swears it's not based on him but no one's buying it. Multiple illustrators.
🕹️ @GriffFGOE
2K Followers 3K Following I drop a song every Monday. Dm me if you need to talk. certified yapper, point god, person.
Professor Berch @ProfessorBerch1
174 Followers 822 Following
But a Jape @butajape
994 Followers 12 Following Comics by James P. Sandoval (He/Him) Website: https://t.co/xHVndsG4nF Patreon: https://t.co/JaF3IDEKL7
GamerBro @ThatGamerBro1
37 Followers 372 Following
WeebyNewz OOC Discord @WeebynewzOOC
72 Followers 2 Following WEEBY NEWS DISCORD OUT OF CONTEXT ♡ ⠀⠀ ⠀ account owner is marcy !! ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ dm me here to submit posts !!
Kitboga @Kitboga
123K Followers 159 Following Improv artist who calls scammers & explores the internet. Laughter is the best medicine. https://t.co/aEC5M10HUJ Business Inquiries: [email protected]
Ricky Hawkins @InkyRickshaw
3K Followers 329 Following I make weekly comics and occasionally tweet. Support my comic-making habit at: https://t.co/VBw9QhlL20
Hypnova @hypnovamusic
6K Followers 4K Following Pop Writing & Production Team 🎧#popmusic #synthpop #chillpop #hiphop #electronic
ADHDinos @ADHDinos
36K Followers 38 Following The first ever ADHDinos book "The Land Before Time Management" is out now! https://t.co/Rez2raMe81
Mesut Kaya @iammesutkaya
564 Followers 0 Following 👋 Hi, I'm Mesut! o( I ▲ I )o 🐸 Comics & Animations
Kevin McShane @kmcshane
6K Followers 49 Following (He/Him) Cartoonist & creator of @drawoffshow • Former Exec Producer @BuzzFeedVideo • Sheet Cake Enthusiast • I'll draw you for $5 at @badcaricatures
Matt Shirley @mattsurely
12K Followers 302 Following I try to make a chart a day over on the instergram Also do things on Patreon.
Pervis @PervisTime
62K Followers 16 Following
RobScott36 @RobScott36
135 Followers 143 Following I am here looking for friends and new experiences. If you aren't genuine, thank you, but kindly move on.
IBOY REACTS @IAMSAYIBOY
20K Followers 27 Following The Best REACTION CHANNEL out there! 🔥🔥 🏆 #1 IBOY REACTS PAGE 🎬 Edited on Adobe Premiere Pro
Doug Farrago @Doug_Farrago
282 Followers 2K Following Writer of 8 books. Doctor. Author page: https://t.co/Vpp2n8iYpp. Inventor of the Cryohelmet for head injuries and Knee Saver for catchers.
amii.illustrates @AmiiIllustrates
2K Followers 37 Following illustrator and funny webcomic maker! https://t.co/GvsKgLyrKq
Amir Lopez @amirlopezcomics
495 Followers 23 Following Creator of Wyatt & Blu, Circuit Chums and other wholesome and funny comics
Grim & Graham @GrimAndGraham
10K Followers 30 Following Comics featuring Grim Reaper and his trainee, Graham. IG: https://t.co/K5EMqcKi9Z Words by @TheAndrewNadeau | Drawing by @wonder_city_
Canned Molerat (Dara) @DaraExists
28 Followers 37 Following mostly just silly things but occasionally emo main @DaraActualTrash / @MessT0TheMasses
zenacomics @zenacomics
389 Followers 35 Following Check out my patreon for more (sometimes dirty) comics and behind-the-scenes videos!
Colmscomics 🐀 @colmscomics
1K Followers 203 Following Hey, I'm a comic artist, check me out if you want on Instagram! And if you like my stuff, consider supporting me on patreon! https://t.co/aho62ovk45
There I Ruined It @ThereIRuinedIt
9K Followers 9 Following I lovingly destroy your favorite songs. (Full collection on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram)
You might like
DavidDSpam
@DavidD1094
118 Followers
Kiru
@lover_tml
192 Followers
Daraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
@DaraActualTrash
211 Followers
Awe
@AweOfHe
81 Followers
nick 🏳️🌈 �...
@libromancerfire
147 Followers
BriTheCookieMonster
@BriTheCookie
90 Followers
Clover03
@cloverwizard03
607 Followers
Dreamprism (Alex)
@p2008t
273 Followers
Kitathi
@KitKatKitathi
171 Followers
FadoodleRulez✊🏾
@FadoodleRulez
26 Followers
Rave-rz
@Raverz7
34 Followers
☠Kcg8r🔪
@kcg8rstreams
100 Followers
gaybriella
@arepitasfritas
252 Followers
King Cheese🧀
@Cheesey_King
72 Followers
💙Blue|NIKKE/ZZZ En...
@MonoBluma
144 Followers