Emma Singleton @EmTweeted
I practiced preventing tiredness through procrastination before Twitter. They just greased the wheels. USA Joined November 2011-
Tweets2K
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Followers2K
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Following2K
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Likes990
If I'm asking you which of your children you love the most, it's because you have a pinned tweet.
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20 Pics Of People Caught In An Agonizing Moment That Will Make You Feel Slightly Less Numbed For Three Seconds!
Is anybody really ever away from Twitter?
What? Putting my foot in my mouth is just part of my work out routine.
It's about your performance art increasing drugs. We all worry about you. Can you just sit down so we can talk?
I just learned about the word "postjudiced". Seeing how I always know best, it feels like I got my hands on kryptonite.
Just before I die, I'm gonna change my FB status to "Sure there's some screaming going on but I honestly thougt it would be hotter".
Back off or I'm gonna hurt you right in the feelings.
Emma Singleton retweeted
The one thing egg nog enthusiasts, magicians, DEA agents, and satanists can agree on is the turtleneck.
Is it too early to start saying "Back in my day, we used to pour buckets of ice over ourselves"?
"Italian food" means "saturated fats served on a kingsize bed of stupid carbs" in italian. In english it means "stuff my face full of that".
I used to have a hard time focusing on the present. I still do but I also used to.
*panics and sets phone to fight mode* *737 turns into F16*
"OK, duck face products. Let's think outside the box. Ideas?" "Well, I got this dog that I hate..."
So there I was being told they'd prefer if I leave thinking how did I become a preferred customer in the first place the way I was going on.
I got Uber on my phone now. Guess you could say I'm a bit of a prepper.
I seem to be allocated a smaller amount of fucks to give every year.
This means you should get to drive when you're three, right?
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