Exmo Emma @ExmoEmma
Exmormon. Exwife. Current fox. Am too, shut up. twitter.com/search?q=from:… Fire Swamp Joined March 2020-
Tweets12K
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Followers3K
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What doesn’t kill you gives you cortisol spike, weight gain and hair loss.
[reading a book in first person] i dont remember doing any of this
maybe putting a 4th caffeinated drink in your anxiety riddled body will help there’s really no way to know
kinda fuck everyone who doesn't notice we're living in a nightmare
cute first date idea: just hang out and be weird together
Texting your kid is like dating someone who isn't interested in you… Me: I love you, have a great day! Daughter: K
let’s call it a week guys, we did our best.
When you hear someone speak and you just know that the words that they are saying are misspelled
Let me explain what just happened 👇 5 minutes before the President announced a halt to attacks on Iran… someone placed a $1.5 BILLION bet on stocks going up and dumped $192 million in oil. 5 minutes… These trades were 4 to 6 times larger than anything else in the entire market. Whoever did this wasn’t guessing. You don’t risk $1.5 billion on a hunch. There was zero public indication this announcement was coming. No leaks. No press. Nothing. The only people who knew were in the room when the decision was made. Someone in that room picked up a phone. And within minutes they made more money than most Americans will earn in a thousand lifetimes. In a single trade. On a war that cost you $4+ a gallon gas and $16 billion in tax dollars. American citizens funded this war. Politicians are profiting from it. This is not the first time. Every major announcement from this administration has had massive suspicious trades right before it dropped. Tariff reversals. Policy shifts. War decisions. This is the most blatant insider trading operation in the history of American politics. It’s not even close. And it’s happening over and over in broad daylight. You would go to federal prison for trading on a tip from your cousin. These people are front running war decisions with billion dollar bets and nobody will ever ask a single question. Nobody will be investigated. Nobody will be charged. By tomorrow this will be buried under the next satisfying headline. Just like last time. And the time before that. The game is rigged. And they’re not even trying to hide it anymore…
BREAKING: Just five minutes before Trump's announcement to halt the attacks on Iran, massive trades reportedly hit the market. In one move, $1.5 billion in S&P 500 (ES) futures was bought while $192 million in oil (CL) futures was sold. These orders were 4–6x larger than
If you get your shit done, nobody should care if you smoke weed
I used to think the social media videos I saw about the food in other countries were BS, until I went to Italy for a week. One full week of eating pasta, pizza, steak and gelato…I came home down 7lbs. We are being poisoned. It really is that simple.
Unfortunately I do enjoy being ruder to someone who was rude to me first
does anyone know other coping mechanisms besides substance abuse
Get yourself a "how can I help" partner and not "you will be fine" partner. Get yourself a "I’ll take care of it" partner and not "sorry to hear that" partner. Get yourself a "I’m on my way" partner and not "If I have time” partner. Get yourself a “I brought you your favorite food” partner, not a “you should eat” partner. Get yourself a “rest, I’ve got this” partner, not a “just push through” partner. Get yourself a “I’m here, talk to me” partner, not a “you’re overthinking” partner.
40% of teen pregnancies in 15 y/o girls involve a fathering man who is 20-29. It is never lost on me that the conversations surrounding teen pregnancy are always about the promiscuity of teenage girls and not the violence of older men.
Shooting my shot by liking your tweets and never talking to you
We had to smoke out of soda cans with screens from a sink faucet and blow into a toilet paper roll filled with dryer sheets so Gen Z could hit a weed pen at Target
.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • threads • subscribe •
mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo
25K Followers 3K Following https://t.co/lKTwNPcAGY @momsoverhere on IG. Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Featured in @HuffPost, @Buzzfeed, @Today_Parents and more.
Stefan Urquelle @OfficeofSteve
24K Followers 9K Following You'll never find more people smoking than outside of a hospital 🇨🇦 https://t.co/NcqURETrPU
ADHDean @ADHDeanASL
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meghan @deloisivete
23K Followers 3K Following surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link below
DamnFineTweet @damnfinetweet
11K Followers 3K Following RIP DamnFineTweet 8/7/2019-4/27/2023 thank you for 85000 trophies and a million good vibes. I'll miss you!
Helleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard
52K Followers 3K Following 🥪 take these broken wings and learn to fly 🏔
Fomo Simpson @HaliPhacks
8K Followers 3K Following Keeping it funny on Twitter since its early days as a radio show. My tweets ➡️ https://t.co/qLDJZH3oFp
Lottie-pop 🍭 @Lottie_Poppie
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Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
31K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
Matty @bestestname
16K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.
sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
51K Followers 6K Following Gen Xer with opinions, observations, and a sense of humor. Loves animals more than most people. LA 📍
Renata Bach @RenataBach65986
4 Followers 162 Following
Roc - Redneck Messiah @dread_rocco_jr
877 Followers 2K Following Bear hug champion, your mom's favorite
iconogazm @iconogazm
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Serial Entrepreneur @MainWyBagOGlass
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mohammed @mohammed2735041
334 Followers 2K Following
Patrick OD | Human Be... @invisiblebreak_
540 Followers 1K Following We are fighting behavior in the wrong place. Daily examples of the hidden system that drives our behavior. Writing a book on the mechanism behind our behavior
Amy Bernard-Eilerts �... @Amy3IL3RTS
13 Followers 158 Following
Curtis Ludwig @CurtisLudwig1
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Christian Acree @ChristianA57718
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🎀 Madison Sparkles @SparklyMadi
36 Followers 44 Following 💖 Confessions of a 30-Year-Old Virgin (Substack Link 👇🏻)
Cumberdick BenderBatc... @CumberdickB
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Tim Williams @TimWilliam22966
28 Followers 588 Following
Eyes Wide Open @OpenEyes41775
2 Followers 15 Following Physically out, mentally out, non-believing Mormon. William Law stan.
raisoncarmo @raisoncarmo
297 Followers 6K Following ♈️ As a new dawn comes to rid your battlefields of darkness, the age of Illuminatiam will begin. We are always watching out for you👁️🔺
Gator @cl99560
58 Followers 798 Following
Chief of Pattern Dept @PatternDeptHQ
5K Followers 2K Following Autistic sculpture maker. I agree w/Buddhists who love Christ but find Christians so un-Christ-like. I don't like seeing people lied to.
bdhdg @bdhdg120531
247 Followers 1K Following
MELapalooza 🐈⚽�... @MELisCrazyInAZ
32K Followers 16K Following MY ONE AND ONLY PROFILE $MelisCrazyInAz https://t.co/rjxWV6PjFA 🤪Teetering on the edge of insanity 🤣98.2% of my tweets are jokes. Respond accordingly
The Card @JaggedAuthor
3K Followers 4K Following Creator of depressing comic strips. Liver of a depressing life. Writer of depressing bios.
NydiaLondon @33YF32PH0VPgMgu
41 Followers 1K Following
Nathalie with an h @nnnatchos
5K Followers 3K Following Your path may be yours but watch for others along on the trail.
William B. Garrett @garrett_wi34987
1K Followers 2K Following I believe our flag is more than just cloth and ink. It is a universally recognized symbol that stands for liberty, and freedom.
Deeerka @Deeerka1754
22 Followers 973 Following
Alma @alma69420
182 Followers 1K Following 34. Single. Maybe you should keep me company 😉 My DM is always open! *no teens/minors* *not interested in buying* *I won’t pay* 🐂 🍍
Ruth @lily_850193
23 Followers 278 Following Being cute is not a long-term solution, being interesting is.
Sabdod @Sabdod09521
44 Followers 1K Following
Jicky @JickyJuly
49K Followers 2K Following Ted Logan. Old school camgirl. Clip maker. Enemy of pants. Gift weasel. Lovable screw up. Flint made. Sundress sporter. Chaotic good. $Jicksaster
RIP HANK J. DARRYL :( @HankJDarryl
206 Followers 2K Following IN MEMORY -Greatest talk-show host, imaginary Emmy winner, certified Fapologist, rude, prone to outbursts, mildly insane, laugh addict, & so much more! 2FAMOUS!
The Beast to your Bea... @MaliceVance
307 Followers 324 Following Freelance Photographer and Traveling Massage Therapist. DM for booking info. Currently working on Q1 2026 schedule.
Robert Cooper @riverdog898
2K Followers 7K Following FBI was my employer — seven years; HQ, Wash DC; SCIF. Just published my novel, ‘Fly in the Ointment’ — inspired by supernaturally horrifying FBI investigation.
LDSnews.org 🗞️ @LDSNewsOrg
93 Followers 83 Following LDS News: Coverage of The Lord's Favorite Hedge Fund https://t.co/QdB8bWYgkU
LastGoodbye @kv38imtcl141371
2 Followers 148 Following obotics engineer building autonomous systems for healthcare, manufacturing, and exploration applications.
ウラノス＠囁く... @susan8593815537
8 Followers 183 Following スロット歴５年の養分OL。６号機はきついね。最近はひぐらしかアクロスばっかりだ～。絵描き女子の日常アカ。｜相互フォロー〇｜無言フォロー失礼します｜フォロバお願いします｜気軽にお話しできるお友達が増えたら嬉しいです。是非、フォローお願いします
Shelfless Bishop @ShelflessBishop
2 Followers 37 Following
Randall Brower @RandallBrower2
20 Followers 133 Following
🏳️⚧️·S�... @TheSalikino
3K Followers 3K Following Willow, She/Her, 21♈︎ 💖Taken by @5562novascotia💖 Trans, lesbian, dragon furry, AuDHD, ⒶnSynd, Pagan | @NovaSaliko | Free 🇵🇸 | https://t.co/rtJfYU7M9l
Nicole Needs a Bull @Nicole4Bull
650 Followers 455 Following wife exploring Hotwife lifestyle. #MILF Located north of salt lake in Utah. DM’s are open. wife ran account.
Karen Weston @KarenWesto61232
0 Followers 1 Following
Cheesy Buscuit @BuscuitChe33003
115 Followers 3K Following
SneezingWithWetMascar... @WetMascara
18K Followers 2K Following Yes, THAT Thanksgiving tweet. My Faves: https://t.co/90HdOEinlH Recent Tweets in Link Below.
.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • threads • subscribe •
mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo
25K Followers 3K Following https://t.co/lKTwNPcAGY @momsoverhere on IG. Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Featured in @HuffPost, @Buzzfeed, @Today_Parents and more.
NurseBrianRN @rn_murse
19K Followers 777 Following Singer-Songscreamer I Gay Homosexual I Pubic Figure | Fourth Thing I BlueSky: https://t.co/py7Ki0Id7n
Stefan Urquelle @OfficeofSteve
24K Followers 9K Following You'll never find more people smoking than outside of a hospital 🇨🇦 https://t.co/NcqURETrPU
ADHDean @ADHDeanASL
20K Followers 4K Following BLACK LIVES MATTER. Husband, dad, friend. Ally. ASL Interpreter. Doofus. Midvale School for the Gifted alum. Mastodon: [email protected]
your other mom @difficultpatty
41K Followers 941 Following Bad at hydrangeas. Ibuprofen enthusiast. We write jokes here. https://t.co/sVPCoTC4Pw
Claire Behind The Hai... @urmumsausername
43K Followers 5K Following PayPal ➡️ https://t.co/xkCZJek5Vo tweets➡️ https://t.co/gurgQ4zbz9
meghan @deloisivete
23K Followers 3K Following surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link below
Daveastated @Daveastated
7K Followers 1K Following Now I am become Dave, the destroyer of words. *Inventor of the flinglong* I only sleep to give my phone a break
DamnFineTweet @damnfinetweet
11K Followers 3K Following RIP DamnFineTweet 8/7/2019-4/27/2023 thank you for 85000 trophies and a million good vibes. I'll miss you!
Helleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard
52K Followers 3K Following 🥪 take these broken wings and learn to fly 🏔
Fomo Simpson @HaliPhacks
8K Followers 3K Following Keeping it funny on Twitter since its early days as a radio show. My tweets ➡️ https://t.co/qLDJZH3oFp
𝚂𝚔𝚒𝚗 𝙼... @SkinMuffins
19K Followers 920 Following || It’s not that serious.|| Don’t get comfy here.|| No DMs.||
Timothy Snyder @TimothyDSnyder
584K Followers 93 Following Temerty Prof @munkschool @UofT; Fellow @IWM_Vienna; Emer. Levin Prof @Yale "On Freedom" "On Tyranny" "Our Malady" "Road to Unfreedom" "Black Earth" "Bloodlands"
Celeste Amadon @Celesteamadon
3K Followers 587 Following Stanford dropout | co-founder of @dateknown
NE Ohio Scanner @NEO_Scan
112K Followers 386 Following Police & Fire news from the Cleveland area. it/that. Read our pinned tweet now. Multiple OHIxx IPN dispatchers steal our tweets instead of listening to a radio
The Thinking Atheist @ThinkingAtheist
124K Followers 549 Following The Thinking Atheist is an idea, not a person. Hosted by @SethAndrewsTTA. FIND US at https://t.co/RETiALntuW Find us on
Micah Erfan @micah_erfan
65K Followers 6K Following 🇺🇸 2B+ views. Political Communicator & Consultant. @UVAlaw ‘28.👇🏼 Find me everywhere!
Amy Bernard-Eilerts �... @Amy3IL3RTS
13 Followers 158 Following
MELapalooza 🐈⚽�... @MELisCrazyInAZ
32K Followers 16K Following MY ONE AND ONLY PROFILE $MelisCrazyInAz https://t.co/rjxWV6PjFA 🤪Teetering on the edge of insanity 🤣98.2% of my tweets are jokes. Respond accordingly
The Card @JaggedAuthor
3K Followers 4K Following Creator of depressing comic strips. Liver of a depressing life. Writer of depressing bios.
The sunny side of Fra... @AmschelKavka
155K Followers 7 Following Pep talk by Franz Kafka. "The last glass of milk has not yet been drunk." Franz Kafka, 1921. [email protected]
No Nonsense Neurodive... @NoNonsenseND
88K Followers 312 Following Memes, insights, and neurodivergent humour - An #AuDHD+ 2e Neurodivergent Millennial. #ActuallyAutistic #ADHD
Aaron Likens @AaronLikens
5K Followers 454 Following Author of “Playing in Traffic: My journey from an autism diagnosis to the Indy 500 flagstand” public speaker, displayer of 🏁🏁 for the NTT INDYCAR Series
Nathalie with an h @nnnatchos
5K Followers 3K Following Your path may be yours but watch for others along on the trail.
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy
29K Followers 2K Following I have nothing to declare except my top tweets - https://t.co/YApmhRImR4
.stuff @vintagestuff4
92K Followers 61K Following Photos, paintings & illustrations from another time. Historical facts meet light-hearted commentary in this vintage corner. #Vintage #Retro #History
Jicky @JickyJuly
49K Followers 2K Following Ted Logan. Old school camgirl. Clip maker. Enemy of pants. Gift weasel. Lovable screw up. Flint made. Sundress sporter. Chaotic good. $Jicksaster
Handsome B. Charming @CTachio83984
11K Followers 1K Following
Jeremy London @SirJeremyLondon
48K Followers 9K Following Artist, Actor, TS QUINT in MALLRATS and GRIFFIN on PO5, Proud father to Wyatt and Lyrik. AVID DISC GOLFER!!!!!
JCarve @JCarveEdge
1K Followers 882 Following Boating | Slalom Waterskiing | Coffee | Beer | Gen X | Utes | #LakeLife
Urnvess🇨🇦 @Urnvess
59 Followers 1K Following I’ve done a lot of dumb shit in my life that has made me smart. I’m just here for the laughs. You guys crack me up.......... Oh, and Vikings football!
Milton Foxley @scholaryoshi
79 Followers 460 Following
natalie “anxiety sp... @SeeNadsGo
208 Followers 2K Following World Champion Revenge Bedtime Procrastinator. Chronic illness. Chronic dork. Broke af. She/her. So, so tired.
Alice in The Promised... @AliceInUtah
97 Followers 477 Following Wandering, and WONDERING, through The Promised Land...?!
aaaAAAaaa @AngelicScreech
283 Followers 542 Following Your (least) favorite host of the Great and Spacious podcast. I’m here to bring the most inappropriate insights and say things that I’ll regret later.
Joseph Fasano @Joseph_Fasano_
98K Followers 9K Following Writer, Teacher | helping people create, heal, and be heard | books @penguinrandom, @BOAEditions | Founder, Fasano Academy | rep: @wme
emerald 🕊️🍐�... @eachpchpearplm
156 Followers 448 Following i am a girl 💅 | just jokes | #GoBuckeyes ❤️🌹 | with liberty and justice for all
Amanda Lamoureux @Amandareux
64 Followers 888 Following Mom, wife, Beatles fan, Chiefs die-hard, aspiring Swiftie, pro scroller. Once an old soul, now just old. Stoked on Jesus, coffee and 90s nostalgia. OC to SLC.
Paul Fairie @paulisci
75K Followers 2K Following Newspaper threads (I've written a book, The Press Gallery!), politics, fun, Headline of the Year, Dr. Cronk. Researcher at @UCalgary.
Unhealthy Affirmation... @UAffirmations
51 Followers 83 Following Wisdom and inspiration reinterpreted for the clinically depressed. All self-loathing is my own.
Kitboga @Kitboga
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Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt
238K Followers 12 Following I am no longer active on this app. You can find me here: https://t.co/K23gTS3i8H
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David Sargeant @chorpler
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Knowa De Baraso @KnowaDeBaraso
89K Followers 700 Following iHeart Presents “Now you Know with Knowa De Baraso” out now, available on all major platforms | Business and Media Inquiries: [email protected]You might like
