Father Labor Union @FatherLabor
Because our grandfathers never had to change diapers. Joined September 2012-
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No, I do not want to build a snowman.
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Let's get one thing clear, son: I will fight you.
Kids are cutest when unconscious.
No, you cannot have a snack as I finish cleaning the very dish upon which you just ate lunch.
My life calling is to hunt down and kill all three Wonder Pets.
Waiting in the car for Mom and your 2 year old has to pee? Discarded sandwich bag.
Nothing gets the family together like the first chili dinner after the stomach virus.
The kids were angels during holiday travel. Of the fallen persuasion.
@bigfamprobs When one of the kids licks the Doritos to protect his share when he has to go to the bathroom.
You know a diaper is bad when you consider giving up halfway through.
All these ladies are making "thankful trees" for their kids. I think I'm going to make a "whoopin' tree."
Ah, nothing like a diaper that smells like beef in the morning.
Tax season: Halloween evening after the kids go to bed.
Look, I'm just as happy as you that the kid finally went number two in the potty. But can we please flush the toilet at some point?
Today we celebrate my kid going potty for the first time. Even though I'm more proud that he started shaving last week.
Trying to engage with the kids more. This AM at breakfast asked, "If one Wonder Pet were to be killed in action, which one would it be?"
You are contractually obligated to go to bed.
Had to move to the next level of potty training: putting underwear on the kid and telling him Spiderman would bite if he peed on him.
Great way to mess with your kids: When they ask where Mom is, answer casually without looking up, "I think the pet store."
My accountability partner just confronted me on my internet usage report. Hours and hours of logged time on pbskids.org.
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