Helen McClure @Helfire13

@GBPolitcs Did he strangle someone with his missing tie?

If Lee Dixon was commentating on my funeral I’d climb out the coffin and kill myself

🤣

A German, an Italian, a Frenchman, and a Brit are debating philosophy. The question arises: What separates man from the animals? “Technology,” says the German. “Other creatures use tools, but none can match the engineering feats we’ve accomplished. It is our industry that separates us from the beasts.” “I disagree,” says the Italian. “It is food. Animals eat, but they do not cook. Humans create incredible dishes and endless combinations that make eating one of life’s greatest pleasures.” “I say it’s art,” declares the Frenchman. “No other creature can create art. Since the earliest days of humanity, we’ve painted, sculpted, written, and composed. Wild animals can never know the deep emotion inspired by a beautiful work of art.” The Brit sits quietly, sipping his tea. After several moments, the Frenchman, growing impatient, asks, “Well, what about you? What do you think separates man from the animals?” The Brit takes another sip of tea and replies… “The English Channel.”

There's been a lot of discussion about the UK 1976 summer this week, quite a lot of it from people who weren't alive at the time and are unwilling to believe the history books or "boomers" and Gen Xers who were alive and lived through it. Yes, it was a hot summer, but different from 2026 in that it was consistently hot, with 15 consecutive days of +32 degrees somewhere in the UK. But perhaps more importantly, it was extremely dry, 45 days without rain, with no clouds seen in the sky for weeks and this followed a very dry summer in 1975, leaving people reliant on getting water from standpipes in the street and carrying it home in buckets. One of the best ways to help people appreciate quite how hot and dry it was, are pictures of the England vs West Indies test match at The Oval that year (when WI crushed England, with Viv Richards scoring 291 and Michael Holding taking 14 wickets). Just look how parched the outfield was, as Viv Richards clouted Derek Underwood iver his head for anithe boundary! The already economically beleagured Labour government, a few months away from having to borrow from the IMF to stop a run on Sterling, in desparation, appointed a "Minister for Drought" to deal with water rationing etc. Luckily for them, and us, this did the trick, and almost immediately the heavens opened. I see in the present day, Starmer has convened a COBRA meeting to deal with the 2026 "heatwave", so no doubt we can expect the rain to start falling immediately, and the heatwave to end and the weather to revert to cool and miserable again. I see Starmer's working on ensuring 1976 history repeats itself in other ways, by ensuring we'll soon need another loan from the IMF... 🙄

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@nebel49800 @MAGAVoice It’s also rude in Britain & large chunks of the world.

So... We're not allowed to buy air conditioners for our houses to cool them in hot summer weather, because we don't have enough electricity to power them, because the solar panels and wind turbines we installed to stop the planet getting hot in summer, don't work when it's hot and windless in summer, so we'd need to burn gas, oil and coal instead to power the AC to cool our houses, but we blew up the oil, gas and coal power stations to stop the planet getting hot in summer, but it's still hot in summer. But it's still ok to install heat pumps in winter, heat pumps which are also air conditioners and use the same amount of electricity or more, but we still won't have enough electricity to power them on cold, dark, windless winter evenings, because solar panels and wind turbines don't work then either, and we blew up the gas, oil and coal fired power stations because they were making the planet too hot in winter as well as summer. Have I missed anything? 🙄🤡🌍

Praise has been heaped on a van driver who gave an impromptu lift to armed officers chasing a suspect in Thanet. 👉 kent.police.uk/news/kent/late… During the chase on Tuesday 16 June, a passing motorist stopped to help and told a pursuing armed officer to get in the back of his van.

Right that’s enough of this working malarkey for another week. Time for a beer and a cornetto.

Not saying it was warm working outside today but I thought Alec Guinness was going to turn up and blow up a bridge

@SartorialThug Like the frogs won’t completely ignore that & carry on drinking anyway.

x.com/CitizenVMovie/…

A stunning reminder of why we cannot give up on our rivers yesterday, as I stumbled across an adult eel on the Roding for the first time, lounging in the shallows in the shade of a council tower block & within earshot of the North Circular. This now rare & magical sight used to be common, until eel populations crashed on the Roding in the 1980’s & have not recovered. Seeking to understand & reverse this population crash should surely be a key role for the governments environmental regulator, but as usual they have done nothing to improve water quality or remove barriers to eel migration. Worse, they are actively blocking my efforts to help the eel population recover. Ordinarily, baby eels (elvers) for restocking are expensive to buy. However, I managed to secure a kind donation of elvers from fishermen on the River Severn (where the elvers often get stuck behind barriers on the river). I applied for my @EnvAgency restocking permit like a good boy & all they had to do to help recover eel populations on the Roding was to say yes. Perhaps predictably, my application was rejected, because there was no positive evidence that reintroducing eels to the Roding would be a good thing. Perhaps most annoyingly, my application to restock eels on the Roding was rejected because reintroducing them would interfere with the EA’s monitoring of their continued decline. I asked what would happen if I went ahead & released the elvers anyway & was told that the EA would fine me up to £50,000. Yet another example of the malevolent uselessness of the EA: obsessed with procedure, but will do absolutely sod all to actually reverse the decline in our rivers.

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Fucking ridiculous…

*allows self a moment of wistful nostalgia*

FPL_Dave🟥 @Klopps_Mug

4 days ago

Good effort

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The look on Arteta’s face was pure gold. x.com/fiko_amoako/st… https://t.co/DKd4CUzl4e

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Decision is RED CARD‼️

@MysteriosoX Took the liberty of taking a few screenshots.... 😱

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From BS. They've taken the incriminating photo off the gallery but you can still see it on the 360 and video tours in the "bedroom" rightmove.co.uk/properties/173…

🚨 WATCH: Andy Burnham is called a "traitor" as he arrives into Parliament