Rashi Mehta @Imarriedwrong
Food lover | Travel enthusiast | Seeker of sarcasm | Cheap Laugh | Pun-lover Joined August 2013-
Tweets66
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Followers21
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Following129
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Likes54
@Praveen11231779 Well he should hope it is better than break-up sex
Hubs has said "Wow, you look good today!" in a surprised tone a few times this week... Don't know whether he is trying to get laid or shot!
@rohanmonteiro Maybe you just don't appreciate (or understand) puns?
Why did X present his PowerPoint on Zoom in his underwear? Because he wanted to cover it in brief
The reporter recorded for only 59 minutes when covering the homicide in a 1-hour newscast. She left out one minute detail.
2 episodes into a new TV show- Hubs: Let's just stop. This sucks, I don't think I can watch this.. Next weekend- Me: Should we try Episode 3, it may pick up? Hubs: Me: You watched it w/o me right? Hubs: Me: You watched the whole season??!!!!
Final cuddles at night is when I feel the most love for Hubs ..For 15 secs till he is knocked out ...Then it turns to deep-rooted hatred for the next 25 mins I spend tossing & turning, trying to fall asleep!
What do you call a psychic dwarf that escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
I buy a packet of pasta at a time, buy the next one when the previous is nearly over. Lockdown has screwed it up and now we are all of out pasta... I was being penne wise pound foolish!
My wife gets angry that I keep introducing her as my ex-girlfriend.
WFH has taught me an important lesson... Start avoiding Hubs 15 mins before his caffeine break. And ask for anything I want within 5 mins after he has got his fix!
Therapist: how do you proactively communicate to your husband that you are upset? Me: shoot him in the ass with my kids nerf gun Therapist: no
I love when I read people's ridiculous tweets about their 3,4,5 yr olds' misdoings and I can totally relate... ...to when Hubs did the same thing!
Someone asked me on a video call if I had curled my hair. I take it the hair-like-hay-last-washed-a-week-ago is a thing now... And I nailed it!
I wished my mom for Mother's Day but without the "love you" on Facebook I tried a great new recipe but didn't upload photos on Insta I exercised all week but didn't send the tracker snapshot to frnds on WhatsApp So I guess none of this ever happened then?
Me: Laughing at "Caution: Hot content" label on coffee cup. Isn't it obvious? Married me in quarantine adding a label for Hubs at the bottom of the toothpaste: "Squeeze here, NOT in the middle." Not so obvious after all...
So worst case scenario, you get stung by murder hornets and have to go to the ER where you contract Covid-19 and then someone hands you the new Twilight book
Nobody cares more about proper hydration than a kid who’s just been kissed goodnight
Him: *raking leaves* Me: I’ll leaf you to it. Him: Me: Wood you like some help? Him: Me: I could stick around. Him: Me: Maybe you should branch out. Him: Please leave.
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