Dr. Mantis @InsectAnalyst

So #AnimalCrossing for the Switch won't be available until March 2020. Does that mean everybody currently on line for tickets to see the new @starwars Episode IX (Released This December) will leave to go wait at @BestBuy to be the first to own a copy? #NintendoDirectE3

When they eventually make the #ElaineMay Biopic, #AllisonJanney is going to play her. I don't know who they'd cast to play me in mine seeing as how Karen Carpenter is, sadly, no longer with us.

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NASA is selling trips to tourists on the International Space Station. Airfare is 58 Million, rooms are 35,000 dollars a night. Or, you could just take a sugar cube of acid for 10 bucks and burn 60 Million Dollars in the street. #InternationalSpaceStation #Travel

Some guy made almost 2 1/2 Million bucks on @Jeopardy Do that on 'The Match Game' and then I'll be impressed. #Jeopardy #JeopardyJames #JeopardyEmma

This is one wise baby.

'I sat atop a donut...and I saw the face of God.' #NationalDonutDay

@RyanBartlett12 Don't feel bad. For the longest time I thought the Grand Canyon was in Texas.

It's #NationalCheeseDay. So here's to all you lovers of the coagulation of milk protein and fat. Not so appetizing now, huh?

If you watch Godzilla backwards, it's about a dinosaur that painstakingly pieces a city back together before slowly moonwalking into the sea. #GodzillaMovie

The question isn't why, when the world is hurtling towards destruction, the top story is @KimKardashian's new short haircut. It's why nobody notices that @KimKardashian's new short haircut is one of the main reasons why the world is hurtling towards destruction.

Taylor Swift has promised to get more'Political' in upcoming music. In a related story, Ariana Grande's next album to be about the Federal Reserve. #taylorswiftisback @taylorswift13 @ArianaGrande #ArianaGrande

The latest issue of Vanity Fair is dedicated to #TheRiseofSkywalker, dispelling the sterotype that @StarWars fans don't read anything but Comic Books. Sometimes, they also read Graphic Novels. #EpisodeIX

More than 70 hours of @GameOfThrones over 8 years. 3 days and 16 minutes of your lives watching dragons and titties. Sorry. Having only a 6 month lifespan myself, I'm a bit more choosy. #GameOfThronesFinale #TuesdayMotivation

After last night's finale episode, I'm officially protesting. Drogon thought his Mother really WAS dead. #ASPCD #AmericanSocietyforthePreventionofCrueltytoDragons #GameofThrones #GameofThronesFinale #RIPDaenerys #RIPDany

Christies just sold Jeff Koons' 3 foot, stainless steel figure of an inflatable Rabbit...for more than $91 million What was that again about humans being the most intelligent species on the planet? #JeffKoons #Christies #IDontKnowMuchAboutArtButIKnowWhatILike #ThursdayThoughts

Congratulations to @MrRatburn from Arthur for coming out as gay. Hopefully, this brave move will inspire Jiminy Cricket to stop living a lie. #Arthur #MrRatburn #bewhoyouare #TuesdayThoughts

Funny...when I hear bells I just assume it’s the Ice Cream Man. I don’t burn the fucking house down #gameofThronesseason8episode5 #gameofThrones #game

Lovely to hear Meghan and Harry named their little crotch fruit spawn 'Archie'. Especially seeing as how the little fuck trophy's Grandfather is Prince Jughead. #RoyalBaby #RoyalBabyName #RoyalBabyBoy

The new @SInow swimsuit issue is on newsstands now. These models are thinner than I am! #SportsIllustrated #SportsIllustratedswimsuit issue

A Mongolian couple died of Bubonic Plague after eating raw marmot meat. Check those expiration dates, people. #bubonicplague #WednesdayWisdom