Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy

Former actor. Current nobody. Comedian. Nerd. Atheist. Stoner. And many other words. Morally bankrupt and independently bereft. Ottawa Joined April 2010

Tweets

3K
Followers

339
Following

568
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793

Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy

4 days ago

Happy 4th to my American friends! 250 years is a big milestone. It's too bad you couldn't have a President oversee it that actually gives a fuck about America or its people. Enjoy celebrating by lining his familys pockets!

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Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy

2 weeks ago

I've had quite a few people call me Daddy in the last few years, and yet not even a phone call today.

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Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy

4 weeks ago

Sadly, it turns out the D in my Big D Energy wasn't my dick, but rather Diabetes. The energy was from high blood sugar. I guess all those years being called sweety was medically accurate. Guess I'm entering my Brimley years. #diabeetus

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Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy

a month ago

Holy fuck, America. Watch your man-baby President on Meet the Press. That's your leader. I think when you rewrite your constitution, maybe think about including a recall mechanism in case your politics gets so corrupt that an entire political party sees nothing wrong with that.

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Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy

2 months ago

Hey @Google, I bought a phone, not a babysitter. Can you please allow me to disable the 'feature' that automatically lowers my volume to a barely audible level when it's 'too loud'. I'm a grown ass man. Let me decide what's loud. Pixel = Never again.

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Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy

2 months ago

@fitzeAD Pick me up, and I'll ride ;)

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Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy

2 months ago

From the people that brought you 'Covid19 isn't anything to worry about' comes... Hanta26! Chief wilderness chef and health director says 'Not worried about it'. Orange Maximus says 'I hope it's fine'. Hanta26! Coming soon to everywhere near you!

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Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy

2 months ago

There comes a time when your birthday is more exciting for everyone else. I think I'm there. I am closer to that discount, though... So there's that.

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Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy

2 months ago

Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but doesn't a 'cease-fire' usually involve ceasing of the firing? How is Israeli strikes on Lebanon just a test of the cease-fire? Isn't it... The end?

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Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy

3 months ago

Out of all the different versions of penis-shaped gummies available, the only one I've never seen is 'Original Flavour'. #untappedmarket

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Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy

3 months ago

The crazy spike in gas prices has done the unthinkable. It's made me take up jogging as a means for transportation. It's a rare case where both the cause and effect are the same. I ran.

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Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy

4 months ago

@gayforjamie2 Amazing! ♥️🔥

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Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy

4 months ago

Pete Hegseth is what you would get if Call of Duty was a person. And no, Pete... That's not a compliment.

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Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy

4 months ago

Now that Lewis has died, and Poindexter is under indictment... Does that make Booger the new president of Lambda Lambda Lambda? RIP Robert Carradine

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Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy

5 months ago

As much as hate the weather, I am truly happy to be Canadian. We might get ice storms, but at least here.. The ICE doesn't shoot.

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Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy

6 months ago

Wow, my American friends... Your President is currently embarrassing you guys in Davos. What a moron. How can anyone not see the obvious mental decline, and there wasn't much there to begin with.

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Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy

6 months ago

Buying a new car, and putting on the cheapest winter tires is like buying a $3000 suit and wearing $20 shoes. Spring for the upgrade.

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Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy

9 months ago

Has anyone ever mixed up Hummus and Hamas? Man, I brought a pita tray to the wrong meeting.

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Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy

10 months ago

Two can dine In a 69.

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Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy

10 months ago

To all Americans who are getting more and more disgruntled with your politicians...check out what's going on in Nepal. Those fuckers know how to revolt. They don't like the government? They set the buildings on fire.