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My tampons waiting patiently for me 25 days a month
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Absolutely loving seeing all the basic couples dressed as Justin and Hailey
lord, give me the good fortune to never have to anonymously post in a beauty Facebook group about a weird lump or bump on my body
the sexual tension between me and the passenger of the car next to me matching my speed on a highway is unparalleled
Remember growing up our parents would say not to sit close to the tv bc it’s bad for you….and now most of us would fuck a laptop if it meant we’d give birth to the new iPhone
Currently watching a man try to wrangle his two white terriers, and very embarrassed for him
You know you slept good when you wake up and one tit is popping out the t-shirt sleeve
im a generous lover (just gives people tickets to my comedy shows)
I have a friend who thinks thrifting is gross. It’s like, look at your boyfriend... He’s second hand, isn’t cheap, trendy or cute and yet I find a way to be polite and respectful, always make positive comments, ‘oh yeah? He has pockets. That’s cool’
#Melbourne Twitter...if that is even a thing. Hello! I am coming to town next week for shows. Come, please!! eventbrite.com/e/one-night-on…
The way god keeps giving me tests and trials its like, why you so obsessed with me specifically?
Jess Fuchs retweeted
@JessRFuchs let me get a photo on a stage before a comedy show started. This is my attempt at looking like Seinfeld.
You ever see your dog walk into a room and get surprised you’re there? Like, bitch Who you expect?? I pay our rent
Just started seeing a therapist (sexually)
So excited to share my first piece in Fashion Journal Mag! All about being a plus size stand up comedian ahhhh so cool! fashionjournal.com.au/fashion/female…
do people get intellectually horny? the same way people get physically horny?
the relationship between a straight woman and her gay best friend is complicated. He is my child, husband and daddy all wrapped in one small frame
Do women write on their dating apps “no my daughter, my niece” like men do?
Why does my body only ever want to wear white pants on my period? Never go to wear white pants the other days of the month… but on my period, can only put together white pant based outfits
Ever go to check the temperature on the weather app and lose 3 weeks to tiktok?
Dylan Adler @DylanAdler6
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Zach Zimmerman @zzdoublezz
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Allison O'Conor @allisonoconor
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REID POPE DUMB IDIOT @rpopetweets
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Kimberly 🧜🏻�... @KimberlyDinaro
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The Glee Club Oxford @GleeClubOxford
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candid msgs @candidmsgs
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Sir Bull of Xing @BullXing
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jayde ⭐️ @evangelicalbaby
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tktzbn99lfykx @bzwf3516ysph
24 Followers 835 Following Tiktokshop conducts recruitment for part-time partners! Salary $100-$300 per day, please contact us https://t.co/AzT3N2G2If
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T @TalishaBot
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my cabbages! @Tozabad
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ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl
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charlie @chunkbardey
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big honkin caboose @itsbighonkin
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jamie loftus 🌭 @jamieloftusHELP
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gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi
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Whacktose Intolerant @MillyTamarez
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Megan Amram @meganamram
884K Followers 4K Following it's this weird, sexual, anti-comedy comedy that's 'in' right now. - my mom
REID POPE DUMB IDIOT @rpopetweets
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james tom @jestom
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Laurie Kilmartin @anylaurie16
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Melbourne, Australia @Melbourne
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mosesstorm @MosesStorm
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Terrible Maps @TerribleMaps
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Community Noticeboard... @commnoticeboard
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🎀 planet clarke �... @planetclarke
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Kids Write Jokes @KidsWriteJokes
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UCB Theatre NY @ucbtny
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385K Followers 747 Following The 2022 Moist Tour is coming soon to a city near you! Visit https://t.co/0l2kyYDk3Y for more information. || Instagram - @jimjefferies
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tiktok comments @commentsooc
156K Followers 1 Following everything tiktok | don’t be shy DM submissions
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