Lady Boxhole @LadyBoxhole
I may be a bitch, but my third husband had it coming. My mansion Joined July 2013-
Tweets209
-
Followers60
-
Following971
-
Likes18
Every Saturday morning I wake up early, take a deep breath, and remind myself how much better I am than you.
I look so great because I have the finest most meticulously done work. I’ve said it for years—you’ve got to be carefully taut.
My undercarriage is so magnificent, I could insert a traffic cone into my orifice, do a Kegel, and go shooting into the atmosphere with the force of the Saturn V rocket.
Oh why must I be so luscious? People just don't understand what a burden it is.
@DrCockwork @BuddyPloup @BuddyPloup He’s my goddam brother.
Such sad news that my neighbor’s dog passed away. What’s worse, it was hardly even palatable.
I’ve just created a new fruit called a Fleshy Pink. Who wants a taste?
I awake every day and thank goodness for my alopecia of the vulval vestibule. #thisladysgotslit
@mental_floss But why does nobody seem to care that the meaty pads on their feet look like noses? Should we expect them to sneeze or cover up their kitty craps with sand?
Whenever I pee blood I thank my guardian angel for helping me lose that little extra water weight.
Your babies are ugly, your mom looks old. I remain gorgeous and blissfully child-free. #MothersDay
It’s important to let the crust flake off naturally. #ladyboxholetips
I can’t be a mother to all, but I can be cold, rude, and condescending to everyone I meet. We all do our part.
Oh, I do so detest when my paramour has an animal tattoo that comes to life during our pounding session and tries to murder me.
It seems to be the current trend is to die when you are at the end of your life. I find it presumptuous and impertinent. I just got a new vulva implant this morning, and I am planning on being around for quite some time, thank you!
One does not stomp down the stairs; one silently descends and discretely passes gas while pictures are taken.
If I had a dead son I’d name him Denny.
My gigolos are so exhausted, I might just have to get an intern. #nonpaid
My #yahimmy is so gloriously dank, dark, and tight. Enjoy not being me, motherfuckers!
Lohre @itslora99696
15 Followers 784 Following daydreamer at heart who loves candles & fuzzy socks ☁️🌷
Ann @yL36KF2VU6QtOjF
64 Followers 7K Following
Pammel ♡ @pameeeel875380
2 Followers 54 Following Small 5'4 can of coca, FMA and SNK addict 😇 add me snap : pamela_aray4437
Buddy Ploup @BuddyPloup
14 Followers 153 Following Yes! You’re welcome for my vocal cord sounds. They vibrate and flap or vous, ladies. 🎶🚬🎤🕶🎰🃏👯♀️🦩🌴🍸🥃🔞🎵
Edward Marks @ehmarks88
51 Followers 239 Following Aspiring screenwriter. Amateur chef. George Costanza if he were your unmarried lesbian Jewish aunt (minus the cats).
David Parsons @_David_Parsons
97 Followers 804 Following Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else
BUDDY 🇬🇾 🇺�... @asbp018
3K Followers 4K Following Mathematician, future educator #NYM #NYG #AEW #WWE #MLB #NFL #NBA #PGA #NYC #yugioh #pokemon #PokemonGo: 3411 2525 3631 (LV:44)
The Improv Boost @BoostImprov
6K Followers 5K Following Improv is for everyone - it has space for everyone. We try to share improv resources we think will help create a healthier #improv ecosystem. 🌏
Jovino Guza @Jovinonyc
4 Followers 71 Following
stephanie walters @stupidandboring
82 Followers 179 Following too esoteric, too dense and too self-referential
Roslyn Frank @roslynfrank555
438 Followers 3K Following
Penny Sansevieri @Bookgal
20K Followers 12K Following Founder and CEO Author Marketing Experts, Inc., best-selling author and internationally recognized #bookmarketing and #indieauthor media relations expert.
Randall @Randallsanimals
166K Followers 62K Following I'm the narrator who warned you: Honey Badger don't care! I love wildlife! VISIT MA YOUTUBE CHANNEL AND SUB MEOW!!!
Frondu Jewelry @FronduJw
25 Followers 111 Following
Brendan McCay @McCayBrendan
253 Followers 383 Following Actor. Comedian. Human being. https://t.co/0bCRDFLIg6
Daniel Alita @gustywinds70
598 Followers 825 Following
Laura Morse @Laura_G_Morse
4K Followers 5K Following Integrative Holistic Therapist at Sun Point Wellness. Social Justice Advocate. Developing healthy & sustainable lifestyles with CBT client-centered therapy.
AlanWilliams @Alan_L_Williams
20K Followers 19K Following Best-selling author of The Blackheath Seance Parlour and the Charles McBride books, work in film and TV, yo-yo dieter, award-winning kisser.
Aunt Becky @mommywantsvodka
25K Followers 16K Following My name is Becky Sherrick Harks and I endorse this message.
Sun Point Wellness @SunPointWell
23K Followers 18K Following Lancaster's Choice for Talk Therapy: Individual Therapy | Couples Therapy | EMDR Trauma Therapy | Sex Therapy | LGBTQ | CBT
Pefferly Person @pefferlyperson
28 Followers 645 Following Pobe-pobe, nobba FAY-leaun! Mymp fumma Herf! Tel-houh innenep!
JR at COLT @JRatCOLT
27K Followers 13K Following Multi award-wining director, producer and owner of iconic COLT Studio Group. Visit our store at https://t.co/BVtt5MrFV9 Use promo code TwitterMe10 for 10% OFF
COLTStudiogroup @COLTstudiogroup
282K Followers 26K Following Since 1967 the COLT brand has been synonymous with the world's most masculine men - Men that dreams are made of!
corey l lewis @organlegend
614 Followers 4K Following
Roger Richards @inblinova70920
489 Followers 3K Following
F**king Classy @Fking_Classy
606 Followers 926 Following 'F**king Classy' is about pushing the envelope with some uncensored comedians, skits and more! We're here to dirty up your minds.
Palmira Jones @palmirajones85
98 Followers 771 Following Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself.
Lisa Linke (she/her) @itslinke
2K Followers 605 Following live action muppet. 🤷🏼♀️ actor/writer/improviser in LA
Rat King @RatKing11
41 Followers 186 Following Rat King. The underworld's most eligible bachelor. Connoisseur of fine cheeses and hot garbage.
Isabelle Taffy @IsabelleTaffy
91 Followers 609 Following Relationships last longer when nobody knows your business.
Irena Bleas @IrenaBleas
101 Followers 511 Following We all have that friend who wants us to listen to their problems but never actually listen to ours.
You're Killing Me @mumblegore
217 Followers 768 Following queer-horror-com by Jim Hansen and @JefferySelf co-starring @BryanSafi @DrewDroege @EdiHasAUnicorn @mindycohn @MattWilkas @matswaltin with terror and joy.
Patrick Rowland @patrickrowland3
2K Followers 2K Following WGAW SAG-AFTRA Writer | Actor | Comedian | Teacher | Writer for The Amber Ruffin Show | Member of @3peatcomedy | Creator of The Patrick Rowland Sketch Show
MeghannNickels @MeghannNickels
60 Followers 394 Following I wanted us to work so much,I hate you for making me feel like this. I still love you.
ShannenMadsen @ShannenMadsen
45 Followers 129 Following One day you'll realize that I'm the one who has always been there for you.
MollLaselle @MollLaselle
109 Followers 445 Following Smile. It kills the people who want to see you cry.
Buddy Ploup @BuddyPloup
14 Followers 153 Following Yes! You’re welcome for my vocal cord sounds. They vibrate and flap or vous, ladies. 🎶🚬🎤🕶🎰🃏👯♀️🦩🌴🍸🥃🔞🎵
Edward Marks @ehmarks88
51 Followers 239 Following Aspiring screenwriter. Amateur chef. George Costanza if he were your unmarried lesbian Jewish aunt (minus the cats).
The Atlantic @TheAtlantic
1.9M Followers 1K Following Exploring the American idea through ambitious, essential reporting and storytelling. Of no party or clique since 1857. https://t.co/uHeZCz8ahz
Keegan-Michael Key @KeeganMKey
577K Followers 567 Following Taught 20 years in the inner city, so don’t mess with me. Check out The History of Sketch Comedy with Elle Key out now!
Gretchen Eng @GretchenEng
481 Followers 483 Following she/her. Fourth Coast Ensemble and Chicago comedy esp. devil’s daughter/jaymes gretchky. can name every kind of dog.
Nestor Carbonell @CarbonellNestor
52K Followers 133 Following I'm that actor guy you probably bumped into at Trader Joe's. https://t.co/M2mImji2wM
Vera Farmiga @VeraFarmiga
198K Followers 137 Following Instagram and Facebook: @VeraFarmiga Profile painting cred: Hope Gangloff
Collin Dahlgren @Collinoscopy
335 Followers 233 Following Homeschool Bully turned High School Heartthrob.
Matthew Cook @MatthewCookPoet
5K Followers 6K Following Pushcart-nominated poet, he/him. Poems appear in @MuzzleMagazine, @hoctok, @Spectacle_Mag, & @HIVHereAndNow, among others. Profile photo by Sherrlyn Borkgren.
Gary Pascal @GaryPascal
668 Followers 527 Following Contributor @theOnion | Co-host @murdertownpod | Trash donkey
Malcolm Hughes @Malcolm_Hughes1
2K Followers 3K Following #Author of #ScienceFiction and #Fantasy. Likes, retweets, links and follows do not equal endorsement or support 🇬🇧
BUDDY 🇬🇾 🇺�... @asbp018
3K Followers 4K Following Mathematician, future educator #NYM #NYG #AEW #WWE #MLB #NFL #NBA #PGA #NYC #yugioh #pokemon #PokemonGo: 3411 2525 3631 (LV:44)
The Improv Boost @BoostImprov
6K Followers 5K Following Improv is for everyone - it has space for everyone. We try to share improv resources we think will help create a healthier #improv ecosystem. 🌏
David Harbour @DavidKHarbour
1.0M Followers 681 Following always halfway happy. profile pic art- @estirdalin & @nicole_clowes IG: dkharbour.
Number One Son @WeAreNumber1Son
113 Followers 109 Following We are the sons Shang asked for. We do comedy. And boys. 👧🏻👧🏻👧🏻👧🏻👧🏻
We'll Never Make It @wnmifilm
73 Followers 150 Following A short & fun family road trip film, now available to stream on Amazon Prime! Created by @katydolle & @zagayer
Billy Collins @Billycollins3
3K Followers 884 Following
B-Side @BSideImprov
72 Followers 281 Following one of newest harold teams @iowest - check us out Saturdays at 10PM for free!
THE HOPEFULLY SPECTAC... @MysticMondays
753 Followers 564 Following ***CELEBRATING 10 YEARS*** LIVE COMEDY & MUSIC. NEXT SHOW: MONDAY FEB 6, 9PM @MintLA
Daughters of Triton @DaughtersTriton
261 Followers 1K Following We're a #sketch #comedy team in Los Angeles!
Harold Teamname @HaroldTeamname
56 Followers 235 Following Hey! I just got on a new Harold Team. You'll never guess what our name is. Follow for a unique name made just for you!
DANIEL NEWMAN 🏳️... @DanielNewman
698K Followers 518K Following THANKS for the ❤️ for my #MARVEL & #WalkingDead Roles 🏳️🌈.
stephanie walters @stupidandboring
82 Followers 179 Following too esoteric, too dense and too self-referential
Mikey Wax @MikeyWax
803K Followers 652K Following New single 'Lovin' You (Lillian)' available now | For your listening pleasure on Spotify here: https://t.co/U6X6muCcRb
Allen Hooper @allen_hooper
7K Followers 340 Following Casting Director for “Tapawingo.” Casting Associate for @paramountplus’ #Frasier and @ModernFam. Member @Teamsters_399. Owner https://t.co/c62Okja2DH.
Ron Digman @RDcasting
13K Followers 648 Following Casting Director - Film: The Wedding Ringer, About Last Night, Obsessed - Television: Zoo (pilot), The Client List, Outlaw Prophet
Ken Lazer, CSA Castin... @kenlazercasting
15K Followers 11 Following NYC & LA Casting Director with 31+ years experience casting Union & Non-Union Commercials, VO, Industral, TV/Film. https://t.co/ApOpCM6Q5X
Berland Casting @berlandcasting
17K Followers 74 Following Terry Berland, CSA. Casting Director, Acting Teacher. Casts Commercials, Voice-Over, Animation, Television, Film, Theatre.
Scott Takeda @ScottTakeda
28K Followers 198 Following Official Twitter of Scott Takeda #GoneGirl #DallasBuyersClub #WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot. Coming #chicagofire. Insta: @scotttakeda
Meghan Babbe @m_babbe
1K Followers 1K Following Chicago-based comedian & writer with a South Dakota spirit. Contributor @Reductress & @TheOnion | Performer @iochicago and @TheSecondCity Touring Company
The Last Word @TheLastWord
994K Followers 2K Following Official Twitter account for MS NOW's The #LastWord with @Lawrence O'Donnell
becca slack @ohboybeccaslack
3K Followers 1K Following ragamuffin pervert. formerly @theonion. currently screaming. future wife of the philly phanatic. @wgaeast. @onionincunion forever. she/her
Lawrence O'Donnell @Lawrence
2.9M Followers 2K Following






















