Lexie @LexBeFriends19
nm jc Joined February 2011-
Tweets4K
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Followers257
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Following243
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Likes675
Me: if memory serves Memory: if??? *death drops*
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Lexie retweeted
Not to be dramatic but like woe IS me
If there’s one thing I DO have, it’s crumbs in my bed
Period horniness is unlike anything this world has ever seen
I dare you to think of a cuntier phrase than “I find that hard to believe”
@schmelterformom U DREAMT THAT. THAT NEVER HAPPENED
My mom was soooooo cool for giving me boobs
@schmelterformom HAHAHA this is so something Care would say to me. Why are little sisters so wise but so cruel 😭😭
Close your eyes. Now imagine getting 0 snuggles from a burly himbo who uses you as his own human sized teddy bear. Ok now open your eyes. That hellscape you just witnessed? That’s my daily life. Perspective.
Why can’t I be an old Italian mobster in a pinstriped suit hunched over a poker table puffing on a cigar for ONCE in my life
Something actually kind of cool about me that not a lot of people know is that my tummy hurts
I wish “rise and grind” meant wake up and rub your fully clothed butt on someone’s fully clothed crotch to the Ying Yang Twins we did at middle school dances
“It’s just a hop skip and a ju-” lemme stop you right there, that is WAY too much effort
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