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Tweets439
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Followers23
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Following69
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Likes34
I played a #aprilfools prank on my wife. I ran and unloaded the dishwasher and then filled it with dirty dishes from the sink. Now she thinks the house is haunted.
@RustyCat1963 @awfulannouncing At the time the score was 7-0 so chiefs didn't know it'd be a blowout yet.
These #oreo bars are nasty. How did this make it out of r&d testing?
I am hoping there will be a #KpopDemomHunters video game, and then I realized that #finalfantasyx2 already came out 22 years ago. #jokes #standupcomedy
"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound That saved a wretch like you" --Passive Aggressive Grace #amazinggrace #jokes #songs
#JellyRoll #PostMalone The white shirt guitarist better get his $2000 bet because my wife didn't know the song and she was the one who brought me to the concert.
@FBIDirectorKash Great work. How about the corruption from the mayor of New York next?
@JJBittenbindr @gullyblanchard I've lived in the bay area for 30+ years. I can't think of anyone who cares that isn't from San Francisco itself.
What's worst than quoting Hitler? Unintentionally quoting Hitler.
I don't know what it should be, but there should be a punishment for Everytime a losing candidate was introduced as "the next president of the United states" before the election. #Election2024
I'm pretty sure Netflix's Emily in Paris is just a show based on Disney Junior's Fancy Nancy. Some fashion conscious girl exploring Paris. #fancynancy #emilyinparis #emilyinparisnetflix #netflix #jokes #comedy
@harris_wins Why do people hate saving money? He obviously gets a returning customer discount.
@MAKEMANGREAT @harris_wins Do you have 5 reasons as to why Trump would be better than Kamala?
@MarkHamill I feel like he tried to create nicknames for these people hoping they're slick and will stick. But with a limited vocabulary, it just reads as whatever angry adjective he was able to conjure.
@CynamonKis @KeneAkers The antichrist is supposed to be charming and cleverly deceitful.
@SenTomCotton @IntlCrimCourt It's not like they could possibly be guilty of separate illegal acts.
@DavidNayfeld @GavinNewsom @RobBonta So you charge $20 for an item +20% junk fee. Or put item on menu for $24? What am I missing here?
@DavidNayfeld @GavinNewsom @RobBonta I believe PGE posted 2.24 billion in profits last year...not that they could have had more if they weren't overpaying their CEO by 14 million a year.
Dr Turjo 🇺🇸 @j_turley24
60 Followers 178 Following Doctor of Business Administration | U.S. Army Veteran | Small Business & Finance | Faith, Family, and Country
KIDDIO @Kiddio_io
155 Followers 1K Following Soft skills-based online classes for kids 3-9 years | We help children build foundational skills and become future-proof | Preschool & Kindergarten Сore program
Alan | LM @TheWorldlyAlan
2K Followers 4K Following Blogger, and I am human, yes. I do believe you are reading, thank you for spending your time learning with me. Bye now. https://t.co/ahtOxbcz2s
S.L. West @TheSLWest
1K Followers 1K Following Author, Fire Wife, Mom of 3 kids and too many cats and a dog. Sleep deprived and learning to drink more coffee than creamer, maybe.
Jayme Lubben (she/her... @JaymeLubben
353 Followers 292 Following Tableau Desktop Certified Professional | Tableau Speaker Bureau Member | Print Supplies Insights & Forecasting @ HP | Mom | Sewist | Geek
Partum The Mess ( Pod... @PartumTheMess
19 Followers 44 Following Normalizing mamahood experiences via validating stories, comedy, videos, and podcast: youtube, FB, IG, https://t.co/0qMYb2V9lY. Branching out to Twitter now! Come on!
Darren Busing @darrenbusing
121 Followers 243 Following Comedy fan, podcast addict. I have resting this-had-damn-well-be-important face. Profile photo @JimMcCambridge
Michael Adams @MichaelEAdams
17 Followers 131 Following
Cara Tramontano @theCara
2K Followers 4K Following Comedy. Caffeine. Political Junkie. Biotech. San Francisco. Food. Cocktails. Kittens. She / Her / It Me
Nathan Casper @Nathan_casper
250 Followers 581 Following Happily married straight guy with a penchant for showtunes. I'm a restaurateur, nerd, #avgeek, and a Christian of the Latter-day Saint variety.
Michael Porcelli @michaelporcelli
632 Followers 5K Following MetaRelating founder: an innovative approach to relational communication. Practitioner, educator, facilitator, coach, speaker, and writer on social technology.
Simon Tiu @simontiu
312 Followers 815 Following Finance @getVGS. Dad. Prev @vertexventures @qatalystgroup @google @deloitte.
Geezer Skate Co. @geezerskateco
321 Followers 2K Following Formerly “joshandnatecantskate”. Old Dawgs Learning New Tricks. Getting Older. Still Skating.
Tina Roper @curiouslytina
166 Followers 983 Following People are the most interesting part of life. ENFJ | People ops at Cvent | ice cream lover | disnerd |
Josh Curtis @joshfcurtis
684 Followers 2K Following Financial Freedom + Lifestyle Enthusiast & Coach. Real Estate, Equities, & Alternatives Investor. Traveler. Linguist. Connector. Driven by Curiosity & Purpose.
Ming Stephens @mingotree
80 Followers 91 Following
David Drans @DavidDransfield
115 Followers 308 Following
Connie @conniechung
559 Followers 2K Following
Sarah Gleason Wood @sgbrat16
8 Followers 60 Following
FanimeCon Black & Whi... @FanimeConBWBall
189 Followers 9 Following Heading into our second decade, the Black & White Ball is a semi-formal main event at @FanimeCon, offering social dance classes in various styles for attendees!
Dr Turjo 🇺🇸 @j_turley24
60 Followers 178 Following Doctor of Business Administration | U.S. Army Veteran | Small Business & Finance | Faith, Family, and Country
S.L. West @TheSLWest
1K Followers 1K Following Author, Fire Wife, Mom of 3 kids and too many cats and a dog. Sleep deprived and learning to drink more coffee than creamer, maybe.
Andy Holcombe @WW2Ordnance
765 Followers 443 Following Inert Ordnance enthusiast and would love a job in keeping with this.
Haley Tiu @haleymuhle
40 Followers 145 Following Data scientist, gamer, lover of chocolate, nerd, aspiring writer
Josh Curtis @joshfcurtis
684 Followers 2K Following Financial Freedom + Lifestyle Enthusiast & Coach. Real Estate, Equities, & Alternatives Investor. Traveler. Linguist. Connector. Driven by Curiosity & Purpose.
Michael Adams @MichaelEAdams
17 Followers 131 Following
Partum The Mess ( Pod... @PartumTheMess
19 Followers 44 Following Normalizing mamahood experiences via validating stories, comedy, videos, and podcast: youtube, FB, IG, https://t.co/0qMYb2V9lY. Branching out to Twitter now! Come on!
Jayme Lubben (she/her... @JaymeLubben
353 Followers 292 Following Tableau Desktop Certified Professional | Tableau Speaker Bureau Member | Print Supplies Insights & Forecasting @ HP | Mom | Sewist | Geek
David Bradford @catchadave
160 Followers 817 Following Music, Basketball, Politics, Data. That's what I like.
Simon Tiu @simontiu
312 Followers 815 Following Finance @getVGS. Dad. Prev @vertexventures @qatalystgroup @google @deloitte.
Nathan Casper @Nathan_casper
250 Followers 581 Following Happily married straight guy with a penchant for showtunes. I'm a restaurateur, nerd, #avgeek, and a Christian of the Latter-day Saint variety.
Darren Busing @darrenbusing
121 Followers 243 Following Comedy fan, podcast addict. I have resting this-had-damn-well-be-important face. Profile photo @JimMcCambridge
MichaeleAdam @MichaeleAdam
1 Followers 1 Following
Cara Tramontano @theCara
2K Followers 4K Following Comedy. Caffeine. Political Junkie. Biotech. San Francisco. Food. Cocktails. Kittens. She / Her / It Me
The Onion @TheOnion
10.6M Followers 14 Following America's Finest News Source. Get the paper delivered to your door: https://t.co/jJP2Apbhe8. Signup for The Onion newsletter https://t.co/koxBGNkhqO
Caltrans District 3 @CaltransDist3
102K Followers 927 Following Caltrans District 3 maintains the state highway system in 11 Northern California counties. Check https://t.co/y6nSOWP2j8 for 24/7 highway conditions.
Jessie Fan @jessiefanvi
14 Followers 67 Following
Classic Firearms @ClassicFirearm
346K Followers 2K Following America's premier online gun store offering the most competitive pricing in the industry. Pick out your next firearm today - https://t.co/HrJVL6QKVP
Official KINGDOM HEAR... @KHMLink_NA
122K Followers 7 Following The official KINGDOM HEARTS Missing Link NA account. Follow for updates and tag with #KHML! *Note: This account was previously the official NA KHUχ account.
William Love @william_lovej
5 Followers 3 Following
Thomas Sydnor @AmmoBasket
1 Followers 1 Following
Leslie Evens @delveintolife26
7 Followers 22 Following Avid adventurer and admirer of inspiring words.
Kelly Kwak @kwakk6
5 Followers 30 Following
Kelsey Underwood @k_m_u_87
3 Followers 8 Following
Ellen Brusa @BrusaEllen
17 Followers 25 Following
Alex Christensen @alexfchr
87 Followers 26 Following
ThinkGeek @thinkgeek
744K Followers 184K Following Cool products for technophiles, geeks, and the occasional monkey
Al Yankovic @alyankovic
4.2M Followers 548 Following You know... the weird one. Instagram: alfredyankovic Bluesky: alyankovic Threads: alfredyankovic YouTube: alyankovic Facebook: weirdal TikTok: alyankovic
Half An Onion 🧅 @HalfOnionInABag
457K Followers 12 Following Just here to get more followers than @elonmusk
Rachel Anne Jones @Rajmews
218 Followers 442 Following I'm an illustrator. Website: https://t.co/dCJrHDnJrv blog:https://t.co/wsIwklmSGG email: raj.illustration@gmail she/her
Megan Gardner @m2gardner
30 Followers 31 Following Geeky Cosplaying Programmer. Wait, do I really need geeky in that?
Tina Roper @curiouslytina
166 Followers 983 Following People are the most interesting part of life. ENFJ | People ops at Cvent | ice cream lover | disnerd |
Greg Monson @GregMonson2
18 Followers 23 Following Student, mathematician, pianist, baker, cat-lover, friend.
Donald Duck Reasons @DonaldDuckNotes
7 Followers 8 Following Why Donald Duck, his nephews, his wife, and his colleagues are angry.
Christine Monet @miss_monet87
141 Followers 486 Following I'm cute, crazy, cool and a bit of a nerd... what's not to love? ;)
Carter @carterchung
95 Followers 601 Following
Autumn Powell @autumnapowell
17 Followers 166 Following
Amina Yee @AminaYee
1 Followers 12 FollowingYou might like
