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Opening a Funeral Home on Peponi Road and calling it Pema >>>>
You make a pact with a woman: if you get to your 35s still single, you'll find each other & get married. 4 months later you run into her on the streets, she's married & very pregnant. She did not even try. No effort whatsoever, to stay single. Why promise what you can't deliver?
Consistency my nigga, consistency
Sometimes you read a judgement by 3 judges of the Court of Appeal, sitting at a location that will remain undisclosed, and wonder, "Were they, too, made in the image and likeness of the Creator? Did 3 minds, allegedly of high calibre, draft, proofread and sign this mediocrity?"
to know me is to be insanely confused
What Haaland gives to Norway, is what João Pedro would have offered Brazil, but Ancelotti decided to chew bubble gum instead.
when you slip a little in the shower and you know you died in your original reality but the quantum immortality kicked in so it's chill
Being a lawyer is translating “very bad” into “not ideal” just to keep the client from becoming emotionally feral.
mom: you’re 28 already when will you marry? me:
When she wants a ring after yall been dating for 5 years
💀Clouds are not solid, You will land in Mwihoko. Proceed with caution
Reach for the stars, so if you fall, you land on a cloud.
Same boy, 6 at the time. Mom travelled. Had to pick him up from play date earlier than planned. He's fuming in the backseat. I'm getting upset because I had to put things aside on short notice & he's being ungrateful. We get home, he alights. Bangs door. Me: (Standing by the door he banged) Hey Buddy, come here. Him: (walks back, forcing a smile. Leans on the car). Me: Are you upset? Him: (Doubling down on the smile) No. Me: Because it's okay if you're upset. You can just say it. Him: (Standing straight) Okay, T. I'm a little upset. Me: (Squatting) Fair enough. Why are you upset? Him: I guess I wanted to play with my fwends a wittle wonger. Me: That's okay. But do you know why I had to pick you up early? Him: (shaking his head). Me: Because mommy travelled. And I have to be somewhere later today, so there were only two options: me or Uber. Would you rather it was the Uber that picked you up? Him: (Shaking his head) No! Me: Well, then it had to be me. That's why I came early. I had to make sure you were okay. Him: (lighting up) Okay T. Will I get to play with my fwends again soon? Me: Yeah, Buddy! Matter of fact I spoke with W's mom (host), she said she's planning another playdate in two weeks. Him: (jerking up) she said that?! Me: Yes. She even gave us some maandazi to carry home. (I show him the packet of buns the host handed me). Him: That's so awesome! Will you come and take me? Me: Hell yeah! But on one condition. No banging doors when we are upset. Okay? You just speak up, okay? Him: Okay, T. Me: High five? We high five. Off he runs. Completely the different boy from a second ago. Me: (thinking) would you look at that? They actually understand things!
Running errands with my godson. Keeps touching things in the supermarket, electronic shops, hardware etc. I wait until we're at his favourite burger joint: Me: Why do you touch everything like that? Him: (protesting) I'm only 7, T. I get curious. Me: (Smiling) Fair enough.
Running errands with my godson. Keeps touching things in the supermarket, electronic shops, hardware etc. I wait until we're at his favourite burger joint: Me: Why do you touch everything like that? Him: (protesting) I'm only 7, T. I get curious. Me: (Smiling) Fair enough. But if one of those things break, you'd have to pay for them; do you have the money? Him: (shaking his head) No, T. Me: So then mommy would have to pay for everything, is that fair on her? Him: No. Me: Okay, let's make a deal. Before you touch anything out there, you must ask the owner. Can you do that, Buddy? Him: (mumbling over the last burger bite) Okay! Me: Shake on it? We shake hands. First shop we get into, he touches without permission. Pulls hand back. 2nd shop, pulls back before touching. Last shop (supermarket), sees some toys. Him: (to attendant standing there) Hey mister, can I touch these? My job is done. Respecting people's property. Respecting boundaries.
I am reading a judgement and I can't help but feel that the Hon. Magistrate is flirting with me. Her penmanship is without fault.
Waiting till you look homeless before getting a haircut>>>>>
@KRACare Pia mimi nishawalipa hiyo chwani Shuru aliinsist sana.😅
@KRACare Your systems are pathetically slow to generate invoices but your bot is quick to yap about not receiving payment.😅 KM, have you filed your returns?
@KRACare 3 reminders in a span of 16 hours is crazy work.
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