JayTheJetPlane @MasterplanFail
I'm a geek, a prattling halfwit, and possibly utterly dull. Cedar Park, TX Joined October 2016-
Tweets275
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Followers30
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Following111
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Likes78
Just another Saturday of trying to secure my future by betting on college teams I’ve never watched.
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“Hey Google! Show me opening scene of Ghost Ship again”
@AdamSandler got laid off of my job of 17 years ago was so broken. Heard your song about comedy. Its so true. Your gift makes everything bearable.
Been an interesting morning so far. Where’s Waldo zoomed in and took the gas pump I was gonna use and then I saw Wednesday Adams yelling and give another car the finger in traffic.
@elonmuskADO hi if you see this. 👀 haha jk. Sweet pic
JayTheJetPlane retweeted
It’s Friday. We got this. And if we don’t got this, fuck it. We’ll try again next week.
Just talked to a coworker for 10 min about how I found a good air pump to fill up my tire at a new gas station if you’re wondering what 40 looks like.
Been awhile since I've walked through a good beaded curtain.
@joshuagates @Discovery As a fan since expedition unknown, loving Expedition X!
You think you know someone, then they tell you they have a pet goldfish named "Tanner"
Bought a No Fear tshirt to wear under my shirt and tie for a little confidence boost when I fill out my self evaluation at work.
Bagel bites are a gateway drug to unemployment.
It's not illegal to make green bean casserole in April.
Still kinda bummed that no one ever invited me to sit in their PT Cruiser
Jesus, there's been like 80 Village People. And like 90% of them are still alive. I would have lost that bet.
Just showing everyone at work a picture of the Village People and asking them which one is their favorite and then I tell them how they died.
I gave a stray cat my social security number to try to get it to love me.
I keep telling people it just looks like I’m not listening because I hate eye contact but then I forget to listen.
I'm about to be 40, stop whispering to me, I can't hear shit.
Tried to order a shamrock shake, but he didn't hear me and I refuse to say it twice so I just got an iced tea.
Spider Ryan Rees @xRYANREESX
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Zak Bagans @Zak_Bagans292
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Robyn 🏳️⚧�... @RecklessBehavi5
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mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo
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Wholesome Side of �... @itsme_urstruly
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Official Jon Lajoie @jonlajoiecomedy
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Wolfie's Just Fine @WolfiesFine
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Karl @Grierkarl
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Average Dad @Average_Dad1
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Lucas RIBERA @LucasRIBERA2
933 Followers 3K Following Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all #love #swim #peace #we #Learn #wish
Aline Simon @Aline_C_Simon
25 Followers 79 Following 🔹Colorada com muito orgulho 🔸22 Anos 🔹Solteira 🔸Wpp:86310705 🔹Facebook:Aline Simon 🔸Instagram:ooi_nee
Andrew @Andrew37577895
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Zak Bagans @ZakBagans120055
13 Followers 180 Following
Zak Bagans 🧛🏻�... @Zak_Bagans
999K Followers 63 Following #GhostAdventures on @discovery @hbomax Owner/Curator @HauntedMuseum
Brad Williams @funnybrad
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WitStream @WitStreamdotcom
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several onions @Amusitr0n
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Drinkinstein @OswaldOLottakum
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😎 𝕞𝕒𝕧𝕖... @good_vibes_girl
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Lia @lifeisforkedup
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Woody B @Woody_B_
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cat @WinningByARose
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