notacop @MatchaSmith
I probably banged your dad. My last twitter was better. https://t.co/aCwaMPIN3t Chattanooga, TN Joined March 2022-
Tweets3K
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Followers670
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Following1K
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Likes7K
Classy vs trashy and class wins every time.
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notacop retweeted
They should dump Gatorade on the losing coach instead of the winning coach. Go cry about it you sticky bitch
notacop retweeted
taylor swift flew from across the world to support her boyfriend in the super bowl tonight while IN THE MIDDLE OF A WORLD TOUR and i’ve been in the same pajamas for 3 days straight.
notacop retweeted
Anyone still holding out for a hero?
notacop retweeted
Yeah bro, I’ve seen the rain. The fuck kind of question is that
notacop retweeted
That’s ok, no one likes your tweets either.
notacop retweeted
wait until you realise there is plenty of fish in the sea but none are for you
Called my boss a cuntbag today so if anyone is hiring an upper mid level exec position in a tropical environment lmk
🚩 🚩🚩on the first date and I’m the only one who orders a drink
notacop retweeted
so apparently it’s still a dui even if youre the birthday boy
notacop retweeted
Whatever people that fall asleep immediately what the fuck ever.
notacop retweeted
The liquor store clerk just wished me Merry Christmas like he's not going to see me 8 more times before then.
notacop retweeted
This is assault
MTV's debut date (1981) is closer in time to Pearl Harbor (1941) than today (2023). 🤯
notacop retweeted
[Being raided by the FBI]: can i get you all something to drink
notacop retweeted
Which wine pairs best with Cheetos?
Probably should have rethought ordering a hot dog at a bar
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