Vasculitis Vixen™ @MistookMistake
When I'm not busy losing 15lbs. so I can fit behind my fridge to get an M&M, I'm tweeting jokes, writing a book, & speaking about my cause: beating Vasculitis. favstar.fm/users/MistookM… Dallas, Texas Joined June 2011-
Tweets3K
-
Followers6K
-
Following1K
-
Likes82K
To transplant, or not to transplant. That is the question. All while your father is dying.
The only drinking problem I have is that rehab won't allow the suitcase I packed to be filled with only my favorite shot glass and vodka.
Apparently I have a speech problem at work. Everytime I go to say, "Screw you & this job." to my boss, it comes out as, "No problem, sir!"
When you begin to ponder getting a tattoo of a vicious dinosaur eating your boss, it's probably time to quit.
"Ugh! You're doing it again." - What my bitch of a clock thinks when I stare at it on Fridays.
I can't find my favorite pair of shoes! When do the people from America's Most Wanted show up???
"Well this hooker hopes she didn't bite off more than she can chew." - Overheard at the crocheting club I'm in.
Remember, kids: one's morality shouldn't get a vacation, even when the weather turns ugly.
"Embrace every moment as if you chose it yourself."
The only single men I find at the grocery store are on the fronts of the cereal boxes.
If you throw me to the wolves, I'll return leading the pack.
Is it just me or does it feel like we live in a giant snowglobe and someone has just given it a big shake.
This tweet just got 1% cooler because I wrote it.
Look on the bright side: Monday is one day closer to the weekend.
Happy Valentine's Day, lovers and one-day lovers!
There is a special place in Heaven for stupid people. It's called "The Repair Pile".
I think I just ran out of vodka. #BetterCallSaul
I just burned the "special" brownies. #BetterCallSaul
"Look at me! I'm so pretty and green. I'm SO healthy and vibrant!" - NOT my plants
Travon Free @Travon
120K Followers 4K Following Writer/Director/Comedian. Oscar and Emmy(s) winner. Black bi popular demand. 🏳️🌈🏁 Two Distant Strangers. BS High. 38 At The Garden. Daily Show(formerly).
Verifried Drunk™®�... @VerifiedDrunk
26K Followers 2K Following The later the tweet, the drunker I am. it/that/drunk
💗 Mashed Potato Dr... @sheseemslegit
135K Followers 19K Following Probably at a Walgreens. enfj. books, cats, vintage.
Professional Word Gar... @heatherjs
20K Followers 10K Following Professional Word Gardener https://t.co/gRqiSrjDBE
💙 Is There Somethi... @CamusOverEasy
17K Followers 15K Following I'm the only person in the world who has been given the finger by Jimmy Piersall at DC Stadium and Rickey Henderson at Memorial Stadium. 凡人
The Real Rodney Lacro... @RealRodLacroix
45K Followers 8K Following Disappointing people since 1968. | EVERYTHING: https://t.co/JN2RmmLu5i | Latest Tweets: https://t.co/F2vUtf3nx6
Just Call Me Frank™... @JustCallMeFrank
14K Followers 5K Following Nightmare with legs | Creator, writer, sayer of things and stuff. Mostly things | My YouTube channel: https://t.co/XlCXxMHyH0
Saim malak @Malak1Saleem
22 Followers 833 Following
Glynn @GlynnOwen829
4 Followers 58 Following i live in the south of england i.enjoy making music with my band https://t.co/GpQFuwwu2b i rebuilt a classic car :) i was diagnosed with vasculitis in feb 2023 !
Kayphe @kayphe14752
35 Followers 1K Following I live alone now and enjoy business, traveling, shopping, food and music. I have a calm personality and I hope we can be friends.
Rare Disease Advisor ... @rda_aav
51 Followers 22 Following Follow Rare Disease Advisor's ANCA-associated Vasculitis Junction for the latest news, perspectives, and resources about the disease.
Elliot @rejmeans
81 Followers 2K Following Not 100% positive about me. 34 yo male. Feel a bit stupid having to state that but I guess it’s a must these days.
Dream @dreampopcandy
9 Followers 7K Following Victims of Sex Traffickers: If you have a chance, try calling 9-1-1, wait, then hang up. Or, National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888
Claire Briscoe @ClaireLBriscoe
1K Followers 5K Following North-easterner in Manc. Comms, writing, reading, gardening.
A Chronic Illness Com... @TeamVasculitis
381 Followers 2K Following Patient created + Patient led. Creating a space for Vasculitis + Chronic Illness warriors to come together.
Jane L Edwards 📚 @Jane_L_Edwards
694 Followers 2K Following Author Chronic illness: learning to live behind my smile. #Vasculitis Love #books and #dogs. #raredisease #chronicillness #cev #immunosuppressed. Views my own
brevitybelle1 @brevitybelle11
2K Followers 4K Following #ToryWipeout2028, #EGPA #vasculitis awareness, ToryInducedTourettes’
Suzanne DePaolis @wonderlandkaren
46 Followers 93 Following Writer, Vasculitis Foundation board of directors, patient advocate, and speaker. Living Life without regrets.
Alessandro Giollo @DrAleeG
719 Followers 878 Following PhD | @eular_org @EMEUNET 🇪🇺 | Consultant in Rheumatology @OspedalePadova 🇮🇹 #RA #scleroderma #vasculitis #osteoporosis
Shane M Coughlin @ShaneMCoughlin
1K Followers 5K Following Student of @StevenHailAus Torrens University Econ of Sustainability Masters, Former KRTD Media President, Former UMMT Board Member, Vice President VFA
The Adventures of Emi... @emilyandkooper
109 Followers 2K Following Each book has a variety of components: A story or adventure, a lesson, a value and a joke or a magic trick to inspire, motivate and encourage.
FCDGC @FrontierCDG
453 Followers 767 Following #NIH consortium fostering collaborative research among researchers, patients and clinicians, for congenital disorders of glycosylation (#CDG). RT/Like≠endorse
Jane jan @Janejan06714409
60 Followers 2K Following
Sherif Nessim @snessim
3K Followers 4K Following Interested in all things Tech. Startups in emerging markets: Africa 🌍 and Middle East.
Ate The Hard Way @atethehardway
147 Followers 521 Following I sprinkle gas station sushi on my wheaties every morning.
How to Beat a Radar T... @BeatRadarTicket
119 Followers 2K Following This book was written for all the motorists who were issued a radar speeding ticket and had no chance of winning their case in court.
Miss Moneypenny @MoneypennyNaked
44K Followers 6K Following The art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go & holding on. • Cat tweets: https://t.co/j9ulDA4QKN
lynn paterson @lynnpaterson17
559 Followers 2K Following
Darlington Nelly @DarlingtonNell1
444 Followers 3K Following Once someone's hurt you, it's harder to relax around them, harder to think of them as safe to love. But it doesn't stop you from wanting them#fact#
Susie Bernatchez @btbf67
2 Followers 163 Following
Mia @PutSomeCoffeeOn
57 Followers 621 Following I don’t need you to be a good sir but you gotta make me wanna spend your life with your mom and then go get back into the game. (I auto filled this in so yeah.)
GuyAdvisor @GuyAdvisor
7K Followers 8K Following I'm shocking like Stephen Hawking, got a pair like Voltaire. Consider me your personal advisor. Come along with me and live life like a true guy's guy.
. Gary Pounds @GaryPounds4
1K Followers 3K Following love God, very laid back, like to fish and outdoor stuff and the Packers, I love to read, snoopy is my soul mate and I’m a dork, but I’m ok with that
Al Hadi Associates& b... @AssociatesHadi
556 Followers 3K Following
Dead Flower @grumpystonergal
322 Followers 503 Following Bitched, moaned, stoned. Won't hug strangers but I'll take your candy. DM at own risk, it bites. https://t.co/Bb0LYSUfHg
kerry @kerry03057642
417 Followers 745 Following Single and lovin it.... beards are life..... craftbeer and whiskey kinda girl 🍷🍸🍻
🌹❤️LillithEve�... @LilithEv3
2K Followers 3K Following I have a passion for empowering others. I believe that happiness is a choice you make everyday. I really like funny shit! Married to the love of my life! No DMs
Aadam Suleiman kooshi... @Aadam0654427224
224 Followers 6K Following
Ma. Teresa Salinas @rehabilitasali1
71 Followers 614 Following
Main Line Rheumatolog... @MRheumatology
711 Followers 2K Following We are your partner in helping you live a healthy life! We treat arthritis, musculoskeletal conditions, osteoporosis, and more.
Mahmoud Rashidi @DMahmoudRashidi
272 Followers 4K Following Dr. Rashidi is an adult and pediatric neurosurgeon who has witnessed hundreds of healing journeys during his 16-year career.
Travon Free @Travon
120K Followers 4K Following Writer/Director/Comedian. Oscar and Emmy(s) winner. Black bi popular demand. 🏳️🌈🏁 Two Distant Strangers. BS High. 38 At The Garden. Daily Show(formerly).
Verifried Drunk™®�... @VerifiedDrunk
26K Followers 2K Following The later the tweet, the drunker I am. it/that/drunk
💗 Mashed Potato Dr... @sheseemslegit
135K Followers 19K Following Probably at a Walgreens. enfj. books, cats, vintage.
⒡ @fackchyually
18K Followers 10K Following
Brian Gaar @briangaar
73K Followers 2K Following https://t.co/z1EDZmqdBo Bluesky: https://t.co/XkLVhTtCfv Read my stuff at: https://t.co/e9CGIwhVgN
Professional Word Gar... @heatherjs
20K Followers 10K Following Professional Word Gardener https://t.co/gRqiSrjDBE
💙 Is There Somethi... @CamusOverEasy
17K Followers 15K Following I'm the only person in the world who has been given the finger by Jimmy Piersall at DC Stadium and Rickey Henderson at Memorial Stadium. 凡人
The Real Rodney Lacro... @RealRodLacroix
45K Followers 8K Following Disappointing people since 1968. | EVERYTHING: https://t.co/JN2RmmLu5i | Latest Tweets: https://t.co/F2vUtf3nx6
Semiotic Stochastic �... @mitdasein
8K Followers 7K Following MOSTLY ON BLUESKY: SAME NAME Chaotic Neural. Failing kidneys. Blood type: B+. On dialysis. https://t.co/cItzJFAcSb
Spencer @13spencer
7K Followers 729 Following I play music in Black Market Heart and Into The Valley of Death, sometimes I sleep.
Just Call Me Frank™... @JustCallMeFrank
14K Followers 5K Following Nightmare with legs | Creator, writer, sayer of things and stuff. Mostly things | My YouTube channel: https://t.co/XlCXxMHyH0
Scott Linnen @ScottLinnen
15K Followers 2K Following Hamburger Helper. Because a severed hand told me to.
Bizarre Lazar @BizarreLazar
47K Followers 12K Following Internet Guy | Rubber of elbows | Eater of sandwiches | Starter of slow claps
Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim
6K Followers 761 Following Legally and officially Princess Kim. My family and friends are my life. https://t.co/05GevtoAu0
andy lassner @andylassner
389K Followers 2K Following Executive Producer - @JHudShow Previously @ellendegeneres show
ʇɹnʞ @beccarelaz56
4K Followers 2K Following
Jeff Dwoskin Has A Po... @bigmacher
39K Followers 16K Following 🎙️Semi-famous podcast host @JeffDwoskinShow 🎧 Podcast: https://t.co/guVp5s6JNi 📱Co-founder @stampede_social
Shana Roy @Literarygrrrl
2K Followers 4K Following leaving soon. follow me under the blue skies @literarygrrrl.bsky.social
A Lone Ranger @LoneAloneRanger
242 Followers 1K Following
joe from accounting. @joenewtzie
406 Followers 2K Following Accountant during the day. Superhero at night.
Jocy Evans 🎉 @radicaljocy
3K Followers 859 Following People say that I'm egotistical, but enough about them. Screen & stage comedy writer & producer. Business: [email protected]
Liz the Lucky @lizthelucky
2K Followers 4K Following Long-term medical experiment specializing in Vasculitis with Poly-Granulomatosis. #BLM #Resistance #FBR
TaoOfPratchett @PratchettOf
265 Followers 985 Following I read too much. I will seek help after this chapter.
Lynzie @gripegal
4K Followers 5K Following Observations of the world by an often ludicrous and generally sarcastic random gal. https://t.co/xfHOMbCvwq
Lovable Misanthrope @LaurelleMartin
20K Followers 18K Following likes: Netflix, naps, tarot cards and talking to the dead.
Hot Dog Showers @HotDogShowers
4K Followers 2K Following I live in a world made of cardboard, always taking constant care not to break something.
Psychotic Humor @PHDaniel_Street
11K Followers 13K Following Giving you good quality shitty tweets since 2010
Karma Police @CarmalPolice
2K Followers 4K Following
ECDallas @ECDallas
428 Followers 450 Following Articles for Dallas Entrepreneurs from http://t.co/ZbLyDBWYpx (@EvanCarmichael)
Kanye W @JeremyOreo
27K Followers 20K Following
Clown Car Drive-By @clowncardriveby
813 Followers 1K Following Bi-weekly, our team of comedy moms and dads reads a different parenting book. Then, heroically, we mine nuggets of wisdom from the bullshit. In podcast form.
Graham Bryant @GrahamDamnit
719 Followers 3K Following Royal smart ass. Cranky old white guy Owned by the incredible Freyja Dawg
UrinEL Cakes @UrinElCakes
1K Followers 1K Following Biker, Constitutional Conservative, libertarian, Catholic, Buckeye Fan, #UniteRight #RedNationRising #Teaparty #buckeyenation
♺ Recycled Dad ♺ @RecyledDad
10K Followers 10K Following Your insults of the windows to your worries, so by all means, please tell me your fears😈
Tom Barnard Podcast @TomBarnardShow
21K Followers 17K Following Catch Tom & Friends LIVE Monday, Wednesday, and Friday 1 to 3 PM CST. Available on demand as well on our site or our app!
mctoffee @mctoffeerfc
799 Followers 437 Following my tweets are always different and always the same, whatever that means.
Angie Davis ❤️’... @AngieDavisHaha
16K Followers 3K Following I'll always be the jester,in a world that idolizes the princess.Goodnight @davidduchovny girl. Comic of Twitter tour @TweetComedians ,knows how to make a salad.
Minister of Lonelines... @NJO
599 Followers 395 Following If there's one thing in life I can truly count on it's my abacus.
Carol Kons @emsykay
3K Followers 2K Following Am the type of person who would put a picture of a missing cow on a milk carton.Learn to laugh and rt so we can laugh too.
in attendance @femmmefatal
904 Followers 748 Following Love dogs & tunes. It's fatal not femmefatalé. Forever Grateful! Music is my salvation. Fitness freak. doggies.Sarcastic. Do not take me seriously.
slam dance tarantula @JermHimselfish
19K Followers 2K Following Words cannot begin to describe the way that I feel about stuff
Brian Hope @Brianhopecomedy
17K Followers 3K Following Father, husband, plant-based marathoner. Comedy album released! https://t.co/CNKPqTAaLh
reluctantly sober sub... @SlabBaconBP
12K Followers 402 Following your fair weather friends on a parachute binge get lost when the wind blows
Dave King @the_contagious
112K Followers 12K Following Im learning the piano, then im learning the Sitar
Sherry @MsRedWriting
17K Followers 17K Following Life experienced, people passionate, world weary, writer, eccentric, hater of injustice and in need of a good makeover :-)
bitchpersonifyd @bitchpersonifyd
11K Followers 10K Following DISCLAIMER: The bitchy views expressed in this account are solely mine and do not necessarily reflect how I perceive life on a full stomach.
AJO Forever @AJO4EVER
5K Followers 7K Following #AJO Pay it Forward Spreading Love and Epilepsy Awareness through random acts of kindness & Paying it Forward. http://t.co/GpVN2ptBhi So much love for #AJO
1SpunkyBlonde @1spunkyblonde
4K Followers 4K Following VSAA/MDS Cancer/Transp Surv. Skin Cancer Surv x4 #MISSION22 Vet Suicide Wid💔 Pro Science/BS Chem NO DM’s #BLM Ally #BeAuthentic 93% optimist 7% GFY #GoSpursGo
Ken Clay @kenwhacksit
4K Followers 2K Following My body is a wonderland. As in, I wonder where it all went wrong.























