NonSequitariat @NonSequitariat
writer, comedian... for hire New York, NY Joined March 2011-
Tweets66
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Followers17
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Following42
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Likes1
I’ve made some pretty gourmet meals in quarantine... I’ve also eaten a lot or undercooked raw chicken. 🤦🏻♂️
I lived 5 days on top of the world and I was terrified the whole time.
It's curious... these mints are so strong.
When I see the iPhone 6+, I feel like one of those chimps at the beginning of 2001
"Don't get cocky, kid!" -- thanks Han Solo. I'll take that under advisement.
Sade: "coast to coast, LA to Chicago" --?? Um, what? #questionablesonglyrics
You follow your mother on Twitter with that mouth?!?
It's Tuesday, I just finished reading the Sunday Times! It's the small victories in life.
The convenient thing about a good friend passing away the first week of spring is that you can blame the tears on hay fever.
I am the type of person who pretends to read the New Yorker but really I just skim through for the cartoons.
This whole thing with the Patriot's balls is getting teste! #DeflateGate
Punchline line from a dream last night "but what about the guy named George D Scott!?!"
Does anyone want some porn on VHS? #springcleaning
Well it's true, a Brazilian waxing is as painful as it looks!
It's so hot out, my iced coffee has reverted back to being coffee.
This Serbian guy is no djok! #Wimbledon2014
Pink Panther's favorite NBA player... Durant... Durant... Durant Durant Durant, Durant Duraaaaaaaaant
Apparently prunes make you go to the potty, I wish I knew that before I ate a box if what I thought were Really Huge Raisins!
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come here, francine @youneverstudied
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