Tyson "Norava" Rasanen 🐀 @Norava

@Critical_Scribe Soooo. You just own the Harry Potter IP now right? It's only fair

My god… Godzilla’s about to roar “Fuck”.

Mr. Goji  @Mr_goji54

4 weeks ago

‘Godzilla Minus Zero’ is once again making HISTORY as being the FIRST Godzilla film to be rated R. This is history in the making!

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@BuffPupVirus @SinderVTuber @aicandii @yoclesh @KumiVT @ChaChayourvmom @crellythecow @rosedoodles @Buffpup_ @saruei @shylilytwitch @SpiteVtuber @Veliful Thank random account that breached my timeline for actually having names. Now as a non vtuber person (judging by these tags) what's a buff pup LOL

@AzakaSekai_ @yotoprules1 So you broke containment and Sr Enterprise Architect here going both "WHAT" then "I mean that DOES make sense" but also "WHAT THAT'S SUCH A NOVEL USE CASE"

@ribbonfemale OH GODS DID SOMEONE ELSE DIE

over two years ago, we added sex to Cult of the Lamb. today, it's still there. and while our team worked hard to make it happen, there's one man we forgot to thank then. to the CEO of Sex, thank you for your invention and for your blessing

Hubby’s Grip

@porterrobinson Either way, good af early birthday present. Thank @porterrobinson / @ninajirachi

@porterrobinson Like either bro guessed at the right fun facts or knows a LOT more about specific attack vectors and how they wrecked our shit than I thought and BOTH are hilarious

@porterrobinson How in the name of the gods did you two make a song that weirdly encapsulates the utter horror effect of "The virus that showed us the government is actively hacking people" and made it into a bop that actually touches on it's effects LOL

@porterrobinson @ninajirachi AND RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF A SECURITY THING LMAO

@porterrobinson @ninajirachi LET'S GOOO

My wife has a strict rule: I am not allowed to be left unsupervised in public for more than twenty minutes. This weekend reminded me why. I’m standing in a long line at a garden center with a massive 50lb bag of specialized bird seed. This woman behind me taps me on the shoulder and asks, "Oh, do you have a lot of birds?" Standard small talk, But I’d been in line for fifteen minutes and I was bored. I looked at her, completely deadpan, and said: “Actually, no, This is for me, It’s a new holistic cleanse I’m trying, High protein, great for the hair.” The guy behind her immediately stopped scrolling on his phone. The woman’s eyes went wide. “You… you eat that? Is that even safe?” I leaned in like I was sharing a government secret. “The results are incredible. I lost 30 pounds last summer. The only problem is the side effects. Last time I did it, I ended up in the emergency room for two weeks. Tubes, monitors, the whole deal.” She gasped. “From the seeds? Did you get a parasite?” “No,” I said. “I was perched on a telephone pole trying to sleep and a hawk knocked me off. Fell forty feet.” The guy behind her made a sound like a tire blowing out. The woman just stood there, paralyzed, trying to process the mental image. Right then, my wife comes back from the bathroom, sees the look on the woman's face, grabs my arm, and starts dragging me toward the exit. “He’s kidding,” she tells the woman. Then she turns to me: “This is why we can’t have nice things.” I don't care. The look on that lady's face was worth more than the bird seed. 😂

Well that was wild. Just got full mall showdown'd with @DanvilleCAgov 's police while waiting for my Grilled cheese cause someone called in I had a gun and was a threat? While I'm just over here looking at the shopping center with basically a big phone on me?????

@kylenike84 @DudespostingWs I mean I think that part is clear. It's more a feeling of extreme guilt from having someone give up their one good thing for you more than anything else and they more mean they're unclear how to process a mix of guilt and concern for their father ya know

when i was in college, my dad started sending me $20 every friday. not every now and then. every single friday. always with the same message: "for pizza." i figured it was just one of those dad things. sometimes i'd actually buy pizza. sometimes i'd spend it on coffee or laundry or whatever broke college students spend money on. this went on for almost four years. after graduation i got a job, moved out, and the friday messages stopped. a few years later i was home for the holidays and somehow the topic came up. i laughed and asked him why he was so committed to funding my pizza habit. he looked confused and said, "what pizza habit?" i reminded him about the money. he just shrugged and said, "oh. that wasn't for pizza." apparently when he was in college, there were a bunch of weeks where he skipped meals because he didn't have enough money. he never told anyone. not even my mom. he said he figured if the money was labeled "rent" or "groceries," i'd feel guilty taking it. but nobody ever turns down pizza. i don't know why that hit me so hard. maybe because i never once needed that $20 for pizza. but there were definitely weeks where i needed it for something.

If a man is horny enough, he’ll let you be as weird as you want. You could tell him you plan to conquer the planet by constructing antimatter warheads in a subterranean bunker, and he’d just agree with you. (This is why so many autistic hotties spec into flirting as a shortcut.)

jena @srepsev

4 months ago

If a man is horny enough, he will like your sunset pic insta story. And I think that’s beautiful

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