Pierre Apologizes @PierreIsSorry

The Department of Public Apologies exists to accept responsibility for things Pierre Poilievre didn't do. Pierre regrets the inconvenience. Parody • Satire North Joined July 2026

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Pierre Apologizes @PierreIsSorry

a week ago

MEDIA ADVISORY The CBC has requested Pierre Poilievre's reaction to an event that has not yet occurred. Pierre apologizes in advance.

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Pierre Apologizes @PierreIsSorry

a week ago

UPDATE The Department has begun reviewing today's allegations. Pierre's schedule has been cleared.

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Pierre Apologizes @PierreIsSorry

a week ago

BREAKING Responsibility for today's federal problem has been assigned to Pierre Poilievre. Tomorrow's has been pre-approved.

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Pierre Apologizes @PierreIsSorry

a week ago

@DeanAllisonMP OFFICIAL STATEMENT Pierre Poilievre apologizes for attempting to keep Canadian politics unnecessarily Canadian.

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Pierre Apologizes @PierreIsSorry

a week ago

@DeanAllisonMP Our department is aware and is looking into mainstream media reports that the other 9% is somehow Pierre Poilievre's fault. He apologizes in advance.

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Pierre Apologizes @PierreIsSorry

2 weeks ago

OFFICIAL UPDATE Pierre Poilievre has pre-accepted responsibility for events out of his control for the month of August 2026.

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Pierre Apologizes @PierreIsSorry

2 weeks ago

@cafreeland The department has informed Pierre and he apologizes for not taking complete blame.

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Pierre Apologizes @PierreIsSorry

2 weeks ago

@TheoMoudakis @TorontoStar Pierre has apologized for looking nothing like the drawing and also for not having anything to do with the ongoing failed U.S trade negotiations. The department will stay vigilant.

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Pierre Apologizes @PierreIsSorry

2 weeks ago

@mario4thenorth The department is aware. Pierre apologizes for looking nothing like the drawing and also having no part in the ongoing failed U.S trade negotiations. He's sorry.

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Pierre Apologizes @PierreIsSorry

2 weeks ago

@globeandmail Normally Ottawa bows to larger groups like China and the USA. The department is aware and apologizes.

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Pierre Apologizes @PierreIsSorry

2 weeks ago

@nationalpost SERVICE ADVISORY The Department is experiencing a backlog of political blame. Several larger Liberal political disputes remain ahead of it. Pierre will apologize in the order it is received.

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Pierre Apologizes @PierreIsSorry

2 weeks ago

@CTVNews The department is aware and every staff member was treated to a Souvlaki lunch by a very apologetic Pierre.

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Pierre Apologizes @PierreIsSorry

2 weeks ago

NEW POLL 81% of Canadians believe Pierre Poilievre could have done more to prevent their extension cords from getting tangled.

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Pierre Apologizes @PierreIsSorry

2 weeks ago

@CityNewsTO We can confirm the bridge is open. Pierre regrets that it took so long.

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Pierre Apologizes @PierreIsSorry

2 weeks ago

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT If a Stampede cowboy hat has complicated your summer by making you tell lies... Pierre is sorry.

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Pierre Apologizes @PierreIsSorry

2 weeks ago

GOVERNMENT NOTICE The Department has expanded Pierre Poilievre's responsibilities to include: - Poor quality of music while on hold - Missing socks - Lawnmowers that start on the ninth pull We regret the additional workload.

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Pierre Apologizes @PierreIsSorry

2 weeks ago

@MarkJCarney OFFICE NOTICE Due to increased demand, responsibility for skilled trades shortages in the first place has now been assigned to Pierre Poilievre. We apologize for the backlog.