enver @Privacybros

We declare 2026 the Year of Privacy.

/HAPPY_NEW_YEAR

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees. $30 per seat per month. $1.4 million annually. I called it "digital transformation." The board loved that phrase. They approved it in eleven minutes. No one asked what it would actually do. Including me. I told everyone it would "10x productivity." That's not a real number. But it sounds like one. HR asked how we'd measure the 10x. I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards." They stopped asking. Three months later I checked the usage reports. 47 people had opened it. 12 had used it more than once. One of them was me. I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds. It took 45 seconds. Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations. But I called it a "pilot success." Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail. The CFO asked about ROI. I showed him a graph. The graph went up and to the right. It measured "AI enablement." I made that metric up. He nodded approvingly. We're "AI-enabled" now. I don't know what that means. But it's in our investor deck. A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT. I said we needed "enterprise-grade security." He asked what that meant. I said "compliance." He asked which compliance. I said "all of them." He looked skeptical. I scheduled him for a "career development conversation." He stopped asking questions. Microsoft sent a case study team. They wanted to feature us as a success story. I told them we "saved 40,000 hours." I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up. They didn't verify it. They never do. Now we're on Microsoft's website. "Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot." The CEO shared it on LinkedIn. He got 3,000 likes. He's never used Copilot. None of the executives have. We have an exemption. "Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction." I wrote that policy. The licenses renew next month. I'm requesting an expansion. 5,000 more seats. We haven't used the first 4,000. But this time we'll "drive adoption." Adoption means mandatory training. Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches. But completion will be tracked. Completion is a metric. Metrics go in dashboards. Dashboards go in board presentations. Board presentations get me promoted. I'll be SVP by Q3. I still don't know what Copilot does. But I know what it's for. It's for showing we're "investing in AI." Investment means spending. Spending means commitment. Commitment means we're serious about the future. The future is whatever I say it is. As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

@chesscom Chess, 32.8k comments. You're cooked.

@AlternateCrypto @tier10k gm 🛤🔫

@Gadget440 Luke is a little b*tch

I know of no better life purpose than to perish attempting the great and impossible. The fact that something seems impossible should not be a reason to not pursue it. That’s exactly what makes it worth pursuing.

@RailgunIntern Its done.

The substitution that surprised the world at the 2014 World Cup 🇳🇱

@RailgunIntern @RAILGUN_Project

@crypto_condom Both coming from trauma.

Railgun virus....its coming

Marco @Marco_Acortes

13 years ago

Corona virus....its coming

30K 183K 659K 0 139K

@veH0rny NGMI

@Insider6900 🧢

Told you. NGMI. GG.

vxh0rny @veH0rny

7 months ago

im gonna quote ur ass so bad

6 0 26 5K 0

@RailgunIntern I need one.

@crypto_condom @Klarna Klarna is doomed

@based16z Was watching this podcast about this dude who was named the AI-alchemist. Long story short, he didn't have a clue how AI worked and still got a podium.