Josh Ritter @Rep_Ritter

HandiCapable St. Louis, MO Joined August 2011

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Following

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Josh Ritter @Rep_Ritter

6 years ago

This is dumb, but I freakin love having to wear a mask because it hides my adult acne. Plus, if I dramatically take it off, there’s a fun Phantom of the Opera moment.

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Josh Ritter @Rep_Ritter

7 years ago

Broadway shutting down is a bit ridiculous. All they need to do is scrub down the theaters until they SHINE LIKE THE TOP OF THE CHRYSLER BUILDING!!!

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Josh Ritter @Rep_Ritter

7 years ago

.@RL_Stine u up?

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[Christmas Carolers Show Up] Them: We wish you a Merry Christmas! Me: Thank you! Them: Now bring us some figgy pudding Me: I don’t know what that is Them: We won’t go until we get some Me: Yes? 911? I’m being held hostage. They’re making unreasonable demands. Please hurry!

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Josh Ritter @Rep_Ritter

8 years ago

If someone dare ask me to prepare Thanksgiving dinner, just know that I'll only be serving turkey Lunchables, and nobody better complain.

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Josh Ritter @Rep_Ritter

8 years ago

I will forever stand by this statement.

Lord Abigail @GargoyleGail

8 years ago

Josh mumbling to himself while studying: “I wish I had SARS so I didn’t have to do this.” @Rep_Ritter is a constant m o o d

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Josh Ritter @Rep_Ritter

8 years ago

Got a call from @Adele. Pretty neat! Hello....

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Tonya Harding @thetonyaharding

8 years ago

How can you tell if a traffic cone is authentic or not?

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Josh Ritter @Rep_Ritter

8 years ago

One man’s “VETGASM” is everyone else’s “VETVOMIT”

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Josh Ritter @Rep_Ritter

9 years ago

If I get stuck in the middle of the dance floor when the Cha Cha Slide comes on, it feels like I’m in a war zone trying to dodge a bunch of drunks clapping, jumping, criss-crossing, and cha cha-ing real smooth.

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Josh Ritter @Rep_Ritter

9 years ago

I still think “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” was an inside job. The grandchild and grandpa seem far too jovial. They probably did it for the insurance money.