Out of Context @RusOutOfContext
Joined July 2011-
Tweets25
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Followers13
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Following71
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Likes0
Never pick up a towel off a grown man's bedroom floor.
"I'm like a dog. If I can't eat it or hump it, I piss on it and move on!" #whoa! #outofcontext
"Would you stop texting my ex and help me get laid!"
"I never thought it'd be YOUR peter?!"
"You're not listening!" "Yes I am! If you'll repeat it, I'll remember!"
"Look at his teeth!" "He's from a third world country!" "I thought that's what the Baptist were for!" #outofcontext #ohno
"What doesn't kill you makes you stranger." #bathroomwall
"I'm not going to get married again! I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house!" #overheard #outofcontext
"I've got your fish tacos right here." and then there was a long pause followed by an interesting thrust.
"Damn it Peter! Stop eating the paint!" #outofcontext
"I think when I'm sitting, I'm flexing my abdominal muscles.... And I just don't want to flex my abdominal muscles." #hmm #outofcontext
"I had to give him a little something, something! He bought me $30 worth of drinks!" #loveit #outofcontext
"Are you stickin' it where it's supposed be stuck?" #TotallyOutOfContext
"usually when my knees are sore it isn't from falling" #inallseriousness #outofcontext
"Are the Keebler Elves here...?!" #improvefilmtitlesbyaddinginmypants
"The pancreas is the balls of the endocrine system."
"Don't shit in Jesus' toilet... better yet, don't throw your shit in Jesus' trash can."
"Honey, I don't wipe my ass until I'm done shitting; I don't wipe my face until I'm done eating." #ew #outofcontext
Now wait! He put the Corona where?! #OhNoHeDidnt #outofcontext
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