Shitty Science @Shitty_Science_
Joined January 2015-
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Ladies, are you tired of having periods all the time? Just have sex without a condom, and you'll be period-free for 9 months!
Looking to lose some weight? Buy 30 bags of potato chips and set them on fire. Before you know it, you'll have burned 18,000 calories.
Want to burn your CDs quickly? Just put them in your toaster, and they'll be burned in no time.
If we cut the world food supply in half (50% decrease) Then put that half back (100% increase), we can have 150% food!
Why is there soap in the ocean???
If eating fat makes fat people get fatter, they should eat skin so they get skinnier.
Want to go forward in time? Consume one 5 Hour Energy every four hours. That extra hour of energy will propel you one hour into the future.
Want to shed some weight? Since calories are measured as a unit of heat, simply eat a large amount of ice cream to freeze those calories.
Want to have shoes that tie themselves? Simply replace your shoelaces with two pairs of Apple earbuds, and voila! Self tying shoelaces!
How to store 8GB of electricity #genius
Humans are 98% chimpanzee, and 25% of astronauts are chimps. Therefore, astronauts are 123% chimpanzee.
Is your house on fire? Don't panic, just take a bunch of Advil and wait for the inflammation to die down.
Want to have free WiFi at school? Look for water fountains with the WiFi symbol, and connect to the water fountain!
Want to produce pure caffeine? Make a pot of coffee, then use that coffee instead of water to make another pot of coffee. Repeat until pure.
If Isaac Newton is the man behind Gravity, why isn't he listed in the credits?
Want to be protected from any explosion? Wrap yourself in lasagna, since the center of any lasagna never heats up.
If Olive Garden has unlimited breadsticks, why haven't they taken steps towards solving world hunger?
Want to fly? Follow these 4 easy steps:
If you pretend to shake salt in your mouth, you will taste salt. Don't believe me? Try it.
Want to go to the moon, but don't have the time or money? Problem solved with these simple steps:
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