Master Blorg @WritesonWriting

Toronto Comedy Writer with many t-shirts. Stay at work father. #comedy, #comedian, #comedians, #writing Toronto, Ontario Joined September 2019

Tweets

6K
Followers

1K
Following

4K
Likes

43

Master Blorg @WritesonWriting

5 years ago

I think we all know which part of afterlife Cotton Eye Joe went to

0 0 1 0 0

View Details

Master Blorg @WritesonWriting

5 years ago

Every time a trojan brings me a horse I get excited, and there when there aren't 1000 men in it I get disappointed. You have no idea how much horse guts I've had to clean up.

0 0 0 0 0

View Details

Master Blorg @WritesonWriting

5 years ago

But the horse I rode in on has NOTHING to do with this!

0 0 0 0 0

View Details

Master Blorg @WritesonWriting

5 years ago

This documentary about WW2 does NOT pass the Bechtel test.

0 2 0 0 0

View Details

Master Blorg @WritesonWriting

5 years ago

All the leaves are brown, and the sky is greeey, Oh I'm colorblind. fuck.

0 1 0 0 0

View Details

Master Blorg @WritesonWriting

5 years ago

If you own a turtle surely the turtle knows it's going to outlive you?

0 0 0 0 0

View Details

I feel like stop and chats have gotten so much longer during the pandemic. I just more time making small talk on the street with a neighbor than I have with my wife throughout our entire relationship.

0 0 2 0 0

View Details

Master Blorg @WritesonWriting

5 years ago

Apparently someone saying I have shaggy hair does NOT mean they want to SHAG me. My mistake, dude.

0 0 0 0 0

View Details

Master Blorg @WritesonWriting

5 years ago

Gotta say, @LetsGo2Court has helped me get through the pandem. I like my murder stories like I like my popcorn salad - horrific and packaged primarily in the Midwest.

0 3 20 0 0

View Details

Master Blorg @WritesonWriting

5 years ago

I've been using a weighted blanket for months and my muscles are huge now

0 0 1 0 0

View Details

Master Blorg @WritesonWriting

5 years ago

"Sorry I missed the meeting, I was stuck under a weighted blanket"

0 0 1 0 0

View Details

Master Blorg @WritesonWriting

5 years ago

Allergy season is like awards season for unhealthy people

0 0 0 0 0

View Details

Master Blorg @WritesonWriting

5 years ago

I'm pitching a show about a talking racoon that lives in an apartment. How's your Monday? #MondayMorningRaccoonShowPitch

0 0 0 0 0

View Details

Master Blorg @WritesonWriting

5 years ago

They say if you're afraid of homosexuals that deep down you're a homosexual, which worries me because I'm afraid of vampire bats.

0 0 0 0 0

View Details

Master Blorg @WritesonWriting

5 years ago

I'm a baller (of melons)

0 0 0 0 0

View Details

Master Blorg @WritesonWriting

6 years ago

What's the borderline between collecting & hoarding? Because I have a collection of 14,000 cats.

0 1 0 0 0

View Details

Master Blorg @WritesonWriting

6 years ago

apparently if you touch a star in real life you'll immediately be vaporized. Nintendo is just asking for legal trouble.

0 1 0 0 0

View Details

Master Blorg @WritesonWriting

6 years ago

My wife got me into RuPaul's drag Race, but now I keep calling her fishy and she super hates it.

0 1 0 0 0

View Details

Master Blorg @WritesonWriting

5 years ago

They say that you can tell how much inflation there is by how much an Arizona iced tea costs. In Ontario now, it costs more than the store that sells it.