The Wry Philosopher @WryHumor
Reflections on the funny side of life. Irreverent humor, sarcasm, irony, comedy & jokes. For daily grins, put me on your favorite list, and keep coming back! favstar.fm/users/WryHumor Living Inside Your Computer Joined December 2013-
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I got it on the first time once back in 2007.
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Delta Variant: These vaccines are killing me. I can't get anyone sick except the anti-vaxxers. Omicron Variant: Hold my beer.
The Atlanta Braves: Cinderella has arrived at the ball.
Alexa, how's my sex life? Based on sounds coming from your home, you have sex 4 times a week. One with your husband who comes in 39.6 seconds, and 3 times by yourself while watching porn. Based on these facts I have put the Deluxe Vibromax vibrator for $129.95 in your cart.
Sure fire COVID prevention. Eat 5 cloves of garlic per day. No one will want to get within 6 feet of you.
Rudy blew a head gasket and he's leaking oil.
Pence was really bugged during the VP debate.
COVID has the whole world going batty.
They obviously don't understand the gravity of their situation.
COVID Panic Porn: Where everyone sits in front of their computer and mask-debates.
Sheltering in place will be causing the next baby explosion in 2021. This new generation will be called THE PANDEMIALS
Fencing is the perfect COVID sport. If they come closer than 6 feet, you stab them.
During the pandemic, my girlfriend has me doing yoga in the house with her. My favorite part is at the end where she says "No More Stay"!
Mouth Breather: A person who wears his mask with his nostrils sticking out over the top.
Home Depot is seeing a run on 6 foot hedge trimmers as hair salons prepare to reopen for business.
All I hear about day and night is COVID-19. My nerves are on COVERLOAD.
It figures that just when we can't go anywhere that gasoline goes down to a buck a gallon.
All the politicians are talking about re-opening the economy. What if they threw a grand reopening party and nobody came?
2020: Let;s all just take a mulligan.
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MlQJAMS @MlQJAMS
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Greg Boyce @equineshaman1
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CrankyPappy @CrankyPappy
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Swedish Canary 🇺�... @SwedishCanary
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FilmLadd @FilmLadd
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Kaptan Hindustan™ @KaptanHindustan
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tim cornwell @247razz
184K Followers 126K Following Surface coal miner, 95% of photos and videos I tweet are taken by me. Mostly of my little dude Tucker and my black cat named Wednesday
TIMENOUT @TIMENOUT
216K Followers 222K Following I volunteered to fight this #WAR I have risen the ranks and find myself on the front lines of an army of New Media. Freedom Isn’t Free Someone Has to Pay! #MAGA
Captain Sunshine™ @AnewTrackrecord
61K Followers 65K Following What we do in life echoes in eternity. #INDY500 #IndyCar #AmericaFirst #Cubs
Stacey @ScotsFyre
43K Followers 7K Following Anti-Communist, Anti-Fascist, Anti-Islamist, Anti-Multipolarity Anti-Fauci which makes me 100% American.
Spirit J.D. Brito Nla... @iownjd
697K Followers 405K Following A @nerdinajock's body—Married to @liviabritoof—learn, grow, inform, inspire, engage. Be cute but real @iOwnTheRoot✨🌎Moderate🌍Writer🌏@iamoppose @skylarclouds.
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
101K Followers 18K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. I retweet regular people, my tweets are under Highlights and here: https://t.co/i666KlIDUh
tazz @noneofyours99
78K Followers 42K Following Army Veteran, atheist, here to share some laughs, it's the universal language I ❤️Animals #supportmentalhealth squirrel mama ,wildlife rescue 🔥Memphis🔥
TheYankeeMuse @JWalkaway
69K Followers 68K Following “Never give up! Failure and rejection are only the first step to succeeding.” USMC
Tableofferings ™ @tableofferings
244K Followers 243K Following The go-to expert Tablescaper and Author shows you how to turn the simplest dinner into a memorable evening. Contributing columnist Beverly Hills Courier on-line
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IrritatedWoman @irritatedwoman
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I Came; I Saw; I Got ... @smitty_one_each
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JC Shannon @TheNattyConser
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syed daim shah bukhar... @SyedDaimsha
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nato_azul_merengue�... @nato_zamora
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