Zombie Problems @ZombieProblms
Being a zombie ain't easy. These are our problems. Not associated with #TWD. Parody account. Walking the earth Joined July 2014-
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The undead falling into an industrial shredder is not "good TV." It's a crime against the living- impaired. You'll be hearing from our lawyer.
Could humans maybe stop killing each other? Leave some food for the rest of us.
My favorite place to bite people is off screen.
I'm not dead, but I'm not alive. My life status is "it's complicated."
I used to get in trouble for biting other children. Now I'm a zombie. Guess I never kicked the habit.
I don't feel pain. At least not the physical kind. People calling me a monster still hurts my feelings.
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands until I find and eat you.
I want you inside of me. Not a sext. I'm just hungry.
My groan is worse than my bite. Just kidding. One nibble from my teeth will literally kill you.
I'm not groaning because I'm a zombie. I'm groaning because when I died somebody cancelled my Netflix subscription.
Don't treat me like a monster. I'm still a person. A dead person who wants to eat you. But a person nonetheless.
I'm a vegetarian. Well, not quite. But one time I ate a guy who ate a salad.
Stop saying how ugly and gross zombies are. I'm dead, not deaf.
Never mess with a zombie wearing high heels. She's stuck walking in those painful things for eternity. They don't come meaner than that.
That thing about shooting zombies in the head is fake news. It doesn't even hurt us. So please don't try it.
I was a vegan. Now that I'm a zombie, I still don't eat animals. Only people.
I hate joggers. Too much lean meat, not enough fat.
Sorry if I seem a little cranky. You would be, too, if your food kept trying to shoot you in the head.
If you hate zombies, raise your hand. Maybe make some noise, too. I'll do my best to find you.
I don't get why humans fight each other. I'm offended. It's like they forgot the world is full of terrifying monsters trying to eat them.
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