727:( @_kying

I recommend using absence to gain your respect back. I recommend giving a girl your number instead of asking for hers. If she likes you, she will text you. I recommend building your body, especially your shoulders. You'd be surprised how much more attractive you look with a better frame. I recommend putting people in their place at the very first sign of disrespect. I recommend not chasing people. Pay attention to who chooses you. I recommend leaving rooms where you constantly have to prove your worth. I recommend being honest from the beginning. Pretending is exhausting. I recommend saving money before people know you're making money. I recommend letting people underestimate you. I recommend taking pictures and videos of your parents more often.

𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐢 @uponalot

5 months ago

So what do you recommend?

6 7 58 1.0M 40

OMG this cardigan 😍😍😍😍😍

📍 Camera Locations & Speed Limits Thika Road 1. Safari Park: 110 km/h 2. Jomoko – Thika Turnoff: 80 km/h 3. Allsops / GSU : 80 km/h 4. Pangani / Muthaiga Interchange: 80 km/h 5. Roysambu / TRM Area: 80–100 km/h 6. Nairobi Expressway 7. Museum Hill → Westlands: 80 km/h @loddca

Music video from Swedish rapper Yung Lean and GENER8ION has an amazing choreography, created by French artist Damien Jalet.

@MrBeast .,

Kuna jamaa nliona (mluhyia) amenunua land Ukambani kwa kamlima. I think he's an engineer. Bro, that boy has transformed that place into a masterpiece man! The views are breathtaking. Amebomoa mlima akaunda nyumba huko ndani buuana. Ebu take a look

This is a masterpiece. And he says he has not built the house yet. This is just a basement!

It’s either my uncle Waruthu is heavily bewitched… or the man is the luckiest dropout kikuyu in the history of Kenya. This man dropped out in Class 6. No degree. No biashara. No master plan. Just inherited land and some anointed timing. He starts in Kingeero with a plot left by his father. Then boom Western Bypass construction comes slicing through it, then KeNHA appears and tells him, “Waruthu, kindly move, but first collect your 16 million.” Now a serious man would sit down, call a fundi, maybe an architect, maybe even think of rentals, biashara, mabati ya tenants, something sensible. Not Waruthu. Waruthu buys land in Gitaru for 4 million, puts up a 3-bedroom house, then takes the rest of the money and launches a one-man campaign of alcohol, women and complete financial vandalism. The man did not spend money. He attacked it. Two years later, before the dust even settles, KeNHA returns again. This time for the Gitaru-Kikuyu interchange. I’m not joking. Same man. Same story. Same government. Another cheque. 19 million. At this point you stop calling it luck. This is now a calling. He moves to Manguo near Limuru town, buys about three-quarter acre, builds again for around 4 million, then does exactly what he had done before. Not almost. Not roughly. Exactly. House first, then the balance is taken hostage by bars, women and enjoyment until nothing remains except memories and hangovers. Any other human being would learn. Waruthu? Waruthu behaves like a man who thinks compensation is a monthly salary. Then last November Ruto launches the Rironi-Nakuru-Mau Summit Road project. Now tell me why this man’s land is again sitting next to the highway like it had been booked in advance. Again the government comes. Again they acquire. Again Waruthu is paid. This time 25 million. You people, there are men who hustle for 20 years and never smell 5 million. This fool has made a full career out of being removed by road projects. He doesn’t farm. He doesn’t build wealth. He doesn’t invest. He just keeps positioning himself where tarmac will eventually develop feelings. The last report we got was that he had moved to Ponda Mali in Nakuru. Either there’s a powerful mganga somewhere blessing his land papers… or God has a very twisted sense of humour when it comes to my uncle. The man is turning Kenyan infrastructure into his personal ATM. Respect. 😂

When Ray Parlour and the rest of the Sunday crowd turned up at the pub, there were rules. You got there at noon. If you were late, it was a £50 fine. Then everybody had to agree what time they were leaving, and once that time was set, nobody left early. If the vote said 7 p.m., then 7 p.m. it was. Anyone who walked out before then got fined £200. Then one Sunday Tony said he needed to leave at three in the afternoon. That did not go down well. The rest of them looked at him and wondered what had happened. “Are you feeling all right, Tony?” “Lads, I have to.” “You can’t. The rules are the rules. You made them up. If anyone else wants to leave early, they can’t.” “Nope, I’ve got to go.” Nobody was having that. A few pints later, just before three, a car pulled up outside the pub. The driver came in to collect him. By then Tony was hammered. So naturally the first question was what on earth could possibly be so important that he was blowing up his own system for it. “I’ve got to go to do the FA Cup draw live on television.” This was a car from the FA. Sent from Lancaster Gate to pick up the England captain and take him to do the draw. So once he had gone, the rest of them stayed where they were and waited for it to come on. They sat round the television in the pub and watched Graham Kelly introduce it all. Then came the line-up. Terry Venables was there looking exactly how you would expect an England manager to look on television. Suit on. Tie on. Hair neat. Then the camera went to Tony. And Tony looked like he had just been pulled out of the pub. He was swaying. His shirt was hanging out. He had trainers on. He looked, in Ray Parlour’s words, “a right scruff.” The camera did not hang around on him for too long either. Tony had to pull a ball out. He put his hand in and started swirling it round. You could almost picture Terry Venables beside him thinking, just take a ball. Then Tony pulled one out and announced it. “Thirty-one.” The problem was there was no thirty-one in the draw. So they had to stop him and tell him to look again. It was thirteen. By then it had become clear enough that this thing needed supervision. They ended up with someone behind him checking he was reading the number properly before he said it out loud. Back in the pub, they were in bits. Then, after all that, the same FA car brought him back. By that point it was getting towards the original leaving time and the lads were ready to go home. Then Tony got out and walked back in. “Did I get away with that, lads?” He had also provided them with one of the funniest things they had ever seen. He paid the £200 fine for leaving early. And after that he changed the leaving time. One in the morning.

Mama Chidi’s husband died in January. By February, the condolence visits had stopped. By March, people had moved on. New gist, new problems, new things to talk about. But Mama Chidi was still in that house. Still waking up every morning to a silence that used to have a voice in it. Still cooking for two out of habit before remembering. Her children were in the east. They called often. Often is good, but what about Tuesday at 2pm when the grief sits on her chest like something heavy and there is nobody to just sit with her? Her neighbor’s daughter, a young girl called Adaeze, maybe twenty-four years old noticed and she just started coming. Every other evening, she would knock and say Mama I just came to sit with you small. Sometimes they talked, and sometimes they watched television together in silence. Sometimes Adaeze would help her sort through things she was not ready to sort through alone. She kept coming consistently Three months later, Mama Chidi told someone, that girl saved my life and she doesn’t even know it. Grief does not need a speech. It just needs a knock on the door. Humanity is standing beside the grieving.

I bank with Zenith Bank. When I slot in my ATM card, the machine will welcome me and say “Arome, welcome”. The machine is dealing with me as a personalised customer. If I give my friend, Gideon Odoma my ATM to help me make some withdrawals, when he slots in the card, the machine will still say “Arome, welcome”, it won't recognise Gideon. It accepts the transaction because it takes for granted that it is Arome. When you give your life to Christ, the Christ that is in you is the one that has the passcode to the throne of Grace. So when you come before the throne of Grace, you're not admitted into activities or transactions with that throne because you're ‘Samuel’ or ‘Philip’ by name. Christ in you becomes the basis of your right standing with God, He doesn't see you, He sees Christ; just like the ATM machine didn't recognise my friend Gideon and thought it was dealing with Arome. So, Christ in you becomes the reason of your acceptance. Not you in yourself, but Christ in you. As long as you have Christ in you, when you stand before God, you're Right from the perspective of the Justice system of Heaven. It is this RIGHTNESS that gives you the platform for Prayer. It is this RIGHTNESS that makes you to be able to engage God without inferiority, guilt and condemnation. And the proof that this RIGHTNESS is in place is that there's an inner PEACE. PEACE means you're accepted. Peace means welcomed. Peace means you're free to do transactions in the courts of Heaven. ••• And that's an arrangement that was put in place not because you had anything to contribute to it. Salvation is not a reward for good behavior; it is a gift released by the grace of God. We access this grace by putting our faith in Jesus Christ. Because it is entirely God’s doing and not our achievement, no man has grounds to boast. Therefore, every believer must live in humility, knowing that redemption is purely the mercy of God. (—Ephesians 2:8 & 9) _____ Sermon By Apostle Arome Osayi and transferred by Kingdom Channel ✍🏼

Dear Parents… Please save this for your Children

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This is the best thing I have seen this December. A lovely way to end my year.

If you are soon buying a laptop, go ahead, read and save this thread.

Many women walk into the pharmacy and they whisper this one question… “Pharm, I have itching and discharge. What can I use?” One of the most common answers you will hear is “Clotrimazole insert” But before you use it, you need to understand what it treats, how it works, and when it is not the right choice. Come with me 👇

I'm looking for insults so intelligent you don't realise you've been roasted until 3 thoughts later

ok i watched like 10 of this guy’s tiktoks while doing all the moves on my newborn and he slept 6 hours through the night for the first time in his life. he’s usually up every 1 hour, maybe 2.5 hrs max 😭 bro im crying

𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐢 @uponalot

5 months ago

So what do you recommend?

6 7 58 1.0M 40

Which one do you have?

10 WAYS TO HACK YOUR BODY: 1. Nervous? Pinch your nose to calm down. 2. Anxious? Hand over heart + deep breaths. 3. Low energy? Splash cold water or take a brisk walk. 4. Stuffy nose? Ice cube on the roof of your mouth. 5. Can't sleep? Blink rapidly for 1 minute. 6. Boost memory? Clench your fists. 7. Headache? Press the spot between thumb and index finger. 8. Nauseous? Press on your inner wrist. 9. Need to wake up? Chew minty gum. 10. Can't focus? Munch on something crunchy.

Best Ex Uk/USA laptops in the price range of Ksh 25,000–130,000. You can save this thread for later.