alysa @alysatabel
i’m not a garbage man i’m garbage, man Florida, USA Joined March 2011-
Tweets11K
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Followers790
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Following183
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Likes22K
my old coworker who lied about going to Maryland to get a sale from a customer wearing a hat with this logo and told him “go turtles!” on the way out lmaoooo
just unlocked a memory from my brain: FCAT Explorer
@barstoolWSD finally went for the first time last night & people are not kidding when they say it’s basically a glorified Costco
instead of popping champagne when i graduated, i shook up @PabstBlueRibbon & sprayed it everywhere which sums up my college experience as a whole
cursed images of my roommates cat:
@Taylor_Seltzer hahahah with absolutely NO hesitation. i’m still mad 😤
my professor was talking about the stock market and said: “you don’t know what fastballs they’re going to be throwing at your head!” i said: “unless you’re the Houston Astros”
the photographer for our house sent the real estate agent the photo files and said “the last one is for the owners” this is what it was 🥺
Houston, we have liftoff ✈️😯
honestly, i was expecting him to say tame impala
@smolgoats my favorite part is when she thought being on private would prevent this from getting out 🤪
all hail the magic conch x.com/NotScTop10play…
She sure asks a lot about restrooms for someone who pooped their pants at a party
You could not make this better if you tried x.com/RockyDerFailur…
@AirbnbHelp my host & co-host have not replied to a SINGLE message of mine except when customer service gets involved. they have multiple listings with the same photos too. my trip is tomorrow & currently waiting for a phone call from a higher up bc this is honestly a disaster.
the same people retweeting this are the same ones saying that David Dobrik isn’t giving you a Tesla lol
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Dave Portnoy @stoolpresidente
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carl @CarlsBeef
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PFT Commenter @PFTCommenter
1.2M Followers 1K Following I do Pardon My Take podcast w/ @barstoolbigcat & Macrodosing @TheDozenTrivia. Banned from Tortoise Forum. organ donor. Played the freebird solo once.
Big Cat @BarstoolBigCat
1.9M Followers 5K Following Dan Katz. Chicago @barstoolsports. Email - chicagotips@barstoolsports. @PardonMyTake podcast w/ @PFTCommenter. RT not endorsement
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407 Followers 479 Following
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145K Followers 955 Following from the northwest side of Chicago - Host of @dogwalkbarstool & @thestretchpod
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294 Followers 215 Following
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1K Followers 4K Following White Sox blogger of https://t.co/n9aK6Y1z83... Game recaps, analysis, minor league updates, and much more on your Chicago White Sox
Is Bryce Harper On Th... @BryceHarper2Sox
61 Followers 69 Following Daily updates on Bryce Harper’s quest to the White Sox
A24 @A24
2.2M Followers 1K Following 𝗡𝗢𝗪 𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗬𝗜𝗡𝗚: Primetime 𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗢𝗢𝗡: Misty Green, You Can See Everything, Club Kid & The Debut
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5 Followers 72 Following
Ripken Olegario @rip_city8
292 Followers 227 Following Professional Intramural Athlete for The Dynasty at Florida Gulf Coast University
stony digital @4nthony_
479 Followers 367 Following a man of minimal substance with a dash of tomfoolery
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