Toast Malone @amphilly_
basically just big brain tings myspace.com/charlesandandr… Tampa, FL Joined September 2011-
Tweets4K
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Followers275
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Following368
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Likes3K
We honestly had no business drinking long islands at 19
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When I retire, ban me from Facebook marketplace please
So we’re all in agreement that ordering a ranch water is just a fancy way of saying tequila soda lime, right?
Is it a burden how fun my life is sometimes? Yes and no
You ever eat a multivitamin and it just rock your shit up? Like why, I just ate
Toast Malone retweeted
Dearest mother — I’ve relieved Gen. Taylor of his duties. While vexing, my resolve and determination to appoint new leadership are as solid as the hogs’ outhouse. Regiment drilling shall begin soon. A new day and new campaign are ahead. Thrilling. Please send more squirrel oil and a frog leg rhubarb pie. — Andrew
@stevemeister23 Not totally. He is just an aspiring animator and has a bunch of kooky characters but can’t really get the storyline together
@TMathSports @novig_app Me and my gf from FL need somewhere to watch in CR Sunday! We’re going to Tamarino then I think monteverde/la fortuna Sunday
@stevemeister23 Sometimes a good splash of water is what I crave
Delayed at the airport. How can I get the bartenders to make my receipt look like I was ordering food to expense instead of deleting IPAs
I love going to random bars, but when they don’t have @theCHIVE on TV, I just want to ask why not
Toast Malone retweeted
1 repost = 1 #ProBowlVote for @MikeEvans13_
Last night was an almost peak moment when I sang Get Low at karaoke and had the whole place rocking then the bartender gave us free picklebacks
People on Survivor day 18 freaking out and shaking about getting to see their family letters like they just didn’t see them two and a half weeks ago
Think about how much productivity your life has lost by doing the Cupid shuffle so many times at weddings
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