Brooke Simmerman @basimmer
Arizona, USA Joined December 2013-
Tweets7K
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Followers381
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Following176
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Likes13K
haven’t even boarded the plane to Alaska yet and I already have seen someone from high school
Brooke Simmerman retweeted
me roasting my me when my man man all day roasts me once
Brooke Simmerman retweeted
*direct deposit hits* My stomach:
the women’s bathroom at a club is really where it’s at because last night a girl came out of a stall w/ tp stuck to her shoe and I stepped on it to get it off and the line of girls behind me cheered for me like I scored a touchdown
Brooke Simmerman retweeted
Your iPhone flashlight is on is the new you have toilet paper stuck to your shoe
gotta love finding out at 4 o’clock that you’ve been wearing your shirt backwards at work all day
“would you spend a week in jail to erase your student loan debt?” Me:
Beard gang is so real. I swear, every time I go out with my boyfriend 4 dudes w/ beards come up to him to high five and talk about their beards
Brooke Simmerman retweeted
“I am so excited to go home and watch hannah montana” -me in 2007 and also me today
Disney+ is available AND Nickelodeon signed a deal w Netflix? umm sorry I can’t hang out for the next 6 months I have too many shows to watch
I’m at a point in my life where my Instagram feed goes from a pregnancy announcement to someone completely trashed at the club
I love sweater weather so much sometimes I wonder why I live in Arizona but then I remember shoveling exists and I’ll hard pass on that
I swear, Costco is like another dimension where everything is better than the rest of the world
Brooke Simmerman retweeted
roasting each other is an important part of a healthy relationship
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