KRUNCH @benrixen

Died in the 90s Joined January 2009

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KRUNCH @benrixen

2 years ago

Can't believe I got hacked but at least the hacker got me forty new followers before I got the account back.

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There was a guy at my high school who would normally greet me with "yo, where the weed at?" and there was another guy who usually said "yo, where the bitches at?" to me and I never once knew the answer but they just kept asking every week. I assume the weed was with the bitches.

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KRUNCH @benrixen

3 years ago

Doing ferret stuff with goats.

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dietcomedy @dietcomedy

3 years ago

I've been watering down a lot of my jokes the past two years so nobody gets offended and yesterday I received a very angry email from water.

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dietcomedy @dietcomedy

3 years ago

Had to leave the orgy after just 15 min when I noticed there wasn't a good mix of minorities involved. Be better.

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dietcomedy @dietcomedy

3 years ago

When a curvy woman walks past you, the gentlemanly thing to do is count three Mississippis before turning to look at her rear. Add two more Mississippis if she's with her boyfriend.

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dietcomedy @dietcomedy

3 years ago

The button on my pants came off and the only thing I had in my car that would keep my pants up was a usb cable.

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KRUNCH @benrixen

3 years ago

Two recent pie charts.

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KRUNCH @benrixen

3 years ago

I don't like it when people refer to me as "the fat guy." I prefer "food blogger," even though I don't do that second part.

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KRUNCH @benrixen

3 years ago

I'm okay, you're okay. Everything is okay. We keep two fire extinguishers around. We lost 3 cats and 4 horses but that was due to the careless magician.