B M K @bmkaplan

forever in blue jeans. Brooklyn Joined September 2008

Tweets

16K
Followers

332
Following

319
Likes

10K

B M K @bmkaplan

2 years ago

im convinced these are the sweatpants of shoes. They say “ive given up” and you cant convince me otherwise. Ugliest shoe ESPECIALLY when people try to pull them off with a suit. Go buy real shoes

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Good Willsmith @GoodWillsmith

2 years ago

had to go for it

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Patrick Chovanec @prchovanec

2 years ago

I want a US President who I can entirely forget about for days at a time.

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B M K @bmkaplan

2 years ago

@danieltbrennan holy cow, this is a good tweet

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B M K @bmkaplan

2 years ago

@danieltbrennan Personally, getting them out seems to be the real tough part. No way id be handy with the hook

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B M K @bmkaplan

2 years ago

@JamesNotJamie1 I bet you’re fun at parties

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B M K @bmkaplan

2 years ago

@danieltbrennan his segment in the Kings of Comedy is God tier

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B M K @bmkaplan

2 years ago

@JeremiahContent @jessehawken dont forget he wore a wig

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is it common knowledge that President Harry Truman and his 16 cats died due to the 1980 eruption of Mount St. Helens? That's certainly not information they disclosed to us at Harry S. Truman Elementary School.

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B M K @bmkaplan

2 years ago

@remiwolf i gotta ask - what business do you do on the top of the roof? Cleaning gutters? Replacing a shingle perhaps? Also, what kind of soup was it?

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B M K @bmkaplan

2 years ago

@danieltbrennan Preach!!!

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B M K @bmkaplan

2 years ago

@BarcoDeTontos @itsyaboytarantu no but i believe it was Steve Parrish’s book (great read btw) that said there were points where Jerry was trying to be “healthier” and Kahn was the reason he would start using again.