Fake Mr. Kelce @captbeardguy
Not actually Jason Kelce. English teacher, actor, girl dad. Lifelong suffering 5/5 Philadelphia fan. Eagerly awaiting death and pancakes. We are. Joined July 2009-
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Following3K
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Likes131K
Logging back in for the first time since September for a brief, very important announcement: The Pork Belly Bites and the Cheesecake Bites™ and will be in M lot this weekend. Go birds.
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That float commercial makes me reconsider being a football fan
Fake Mr. Kelce retweeted
@cpmaher17 @crawf34 @tdubbzholla He’s safe in my basement
Fake Mr. Kelce retweeted
No really everyone, as your lawyer, I am pretty flippant on here, but this is a moment to be careful about what you say.
be very careful about what you post online
@ESRosebud @RealMamaEagle Either of you try Xyzal? Been a game-changer for me during this time of year.
Fake Mr. Kelce retweeted
Kurt Vonnegut on buying an envelope
order your groceries. saves an extra 1-2 hours a week. compounded, thats 50-100 hours a year. a whole week work of work you gain. i promise that time is more important then the $10 delivery fee
@hereliesbaddieb @scheminx Or in a parking lot
Why didn’t he kick it out of the endzone??
Fake Mr. Kelce retweeted
Vikings offense looks like Timothee Chalamet after he saw a slider outside
@noturavghoodrat Didn’t want to deal with the wrong person finding out tbh
Three years since the most insane thing a student said to me. He walks in and asks if they are getting extra credit because “you said we get extra credit when good things happen!” I had told my kiddos they’ll get extra credit when good things happen to my sports teams.
If I ever write a book about the crazy things that kids have said to me, that will absolutely be the introduction
@noturavghoodrat lol I did not. But I did appreciate him figuring I was staunchly anti Monarch
@nunu_gohard I did not. He was a freshman.
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