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Tweets5K
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Followers120
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Following417
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Likes10K
I used to bomb down the big hill in my neighborhood on my uncle’s penny farthing while he was drunk off corn liquor and wouldn’t notice me take it. The other boys would watch, caps held over their hearts like it was Fourth of July
Shaving ‘BORN TO KILL’ into my pubic hair and sliding in a peace sign butt plug
Dude on my train is on reels full volume replaying the same video of a bird. I’m popping open the Merlin so we can have some common ground. I want to understand him
Take a penny, leave a big ol’ wad of Nothing. That’s how I live, baby. Fuck your rules. [with my fingertip’s embrace of the sweet, sweet coin my pupils widen past the edge of the iris. I collapse and a thick mud erupts from my chest, metallic and shameful] The Arab cashier:
If you’re reasonably good-looking you can just steal from stores. That’s how I know CVS thinks I’m a ghoul
Get a rager for your boys. Show up to the hangout with a platonic but throbbing pocket rocket
Make sure you’re matching social faux-pas with your boy. He rips a toot, you rip one right with him. It’s your world to conquer
Smacking myself across the face with bruising strength and shouting “WHO’S THE BOSS!! WHO’S THE KING!! WHOSE GOT THAT GOOD PECKER?!” at 7 A.M. before I hear the sweet cooing of a mourning dove and snap to my senses
Naming my son Dick Heaven and subliminally messaging him into pursuing the life of a jaded but soft-spoken private eye
Going to grandma’s is like walking into your family’s very own museum of Horrifying Implications
Regularly I am blessed with some insane beginner’s luck. I’m saving my first fastball for when they walk me out at Yankee Stadium. Crowd is gonna go nuclear.
@LastDaysofTwit Bonus smiles if he is clearly suffering from a genetic disorder
You can be so sad for so long and one morbidly obese guy dancing on reels shirtless with his man titties shaking every which way will completely turn that shit around
@ANGELISLANDZ0NE Just getting it out there
✿ maddie 🩷 angel @madie449999
18 Followers 3K Following hi im maddie 🌷 sweet with a side of chaos 🎀 followback always
Ismael @iminamtg
2K Followers 685 Following free market enthusiast | broker (dealer) | I’m in a meeting
Cashlin @CashlinRap
28K Followers 31K Following Lo Fi Psych Rap, Next level brain melt sounds. https://t.co/0CggrF8sOc
Sibel Yalçın @stephanierhwsb
34 Followers 2K Following
BELLA @BellaGlowww
4 Followers 292 Following Diet starts tomorrow, donuts start now🍩🥤 Living for hot wings and cocacola 🤫
Penny Licker @I_Lick_Pennies
0 Followers 12 Following
200 Million Horsemen ... @PseudoSerial
615 Followers 1K Following and where others poison, you dismember
Hayden Bourke @hayden_bourke
72 Followers 1K Following
august 👾 @unic0rniest
2K Followers 2K Following i’m out here dipping nuggets you’ve never heard of into sauces you could never understand
Nuke @megab00f
2K Followers 859 Following
pendleton @jarbys__
23 Followers 57 Following meesa joe arbys jarbys pendleton & MAJORLY a ween fan & HAPPILY taken @moobrainz & he/him & i am an adult
🌺caulksIeeve🌺 @tenthousund
2K Followers 599 Following worth a quarter million afloat and at the dock
♡ sasha ♡ @sashatonin
186 Followers 3K Following 22 | 💙 marina 🩷 penny 💚 | he/him ♡ fae/faer | from the river to the sea, palestine will be free
Bored @IrrelevantMic
103 Followers 6K Following Games are pretty cool | 23 | He/They/She | priv @RelevanceMaybe
Lusineᛪ༙⛧ @wmnofdarkdsires
490 Followers 718 Following bitter armo agendoid that likes music and things
JarSports Media @JarSportsMedia
32 Followers 94 Following I know the videos are funny because I laughed when I made them.
Kevin Warrens Karen H... @tricoloredguava
66 Followers 518 Following I've got that sunny bunny feeling
Ezra @somaticinema
143 Followers 671 Following amorphous feline phantom. free your mind and your ass will follow,,, i draw and play music (sometimes suggestive content)
mc cracker @chowder94
5K Followers 515 Following em-see kra-kr. part-time gravedigger. village idiot. former baby. divorced. dedicated jane goodall stan. big fan of cigarettes, twinks, hot girls, and vore.
torrance @eyeheadz
280 Followers 655 Following
Whitney (in Tarnation... @whitn_tarnation
2K Followers 1K Following the only licensed, bonded and insured e-girl follow my brother @watn_tarnation
St. Ignatius of Loyol... @OhioRespecter
727 Followers 2K Following Catholic, Midwesterner, Sports Fan. AMDG. Cavs, Blues, Sevilla, Crew, Bears, Cubs. Always Cincy and STL.
Jarimla @LastDaysofTwit
166 Followers 730 Following
Big Robbie @ChompEols
422 Followers 431 Following local town fool, fish connoisseur, Ween fanboy and propeller hat wearing musical chair hater
Jackie Legs @MrJackieLegs
46 Followers 192 Following
Poke A Bowl® @PokeABowl
95K Followers 101K Following The Best Ashtrays in the Universe • #1 in High Times Hot Products • Founded in 2012 by @CreagenDow • Look for the Box & Dome • Clean Your Ash Hole®
sensual knees @skeeballknees
339 Followers 1K Following
whitmer thomas @WhitmerThomas
26K Followers 611 Following The Civil Dead movie on Paramount +. The Golden One on HBO. Music wherever.
1926 Live @100YearsAgoLive
126K Followers 193 Following Live-posting as a reporter embedded in history. Curated by @MannyMarotta. Companion to @50YearsAgoLive, @25YearsAgoLive, and @250YearsAgoLive. DM for business.
1776 Live @250YearsAgoLive
365K Followers 201 Following Live-posting as a reporter embedded in history. Curated by @MannyMarotta. Companion to @25YearsAgoLive, @50YearsAgoLive, and @100YearsAgoLive. DM for business.
Ismael @iminamtg
2K Followers 685 Following free market enthusiast | broker (dealer) | I’m in a meeting
crack addicted whore @moigleoigletroy
3K Followers 817 Following deadbeat, whistleblower, leninist, reforming, clayboy. client: @wy4bt
Sean @panoptisean
5K Followers 773 Following
grace spelman @GraceSpelman
114K Followers 1K Following subscribe to the best-selling newsletter Grace Spelman Music Project at the link in bio
demi adejuyigbe @electrolemon
219K Followers 378 Following director, comedian, musician, writer (the good place, new warriors, late late show, amber ruffin show, strange planet, neon, ghostbusters, + more)
Ismael @ElCousteau
7K Followers 237 Following
Django Gold @django
20K Followers 1K Following comedic entity // formerly for Colbert, the Onion // watch BAG OF TRICKS, link below
sir (grey)dy knight @medievalmusings
7K Followers 284 Following from the river to the sea 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸 thy local galant cavalier, protector of the realm, and purveyor of shit posts. she/they
flashback to getting ... @GarlicCorgi
43K Followers 1K Following https://t.co/h8Bpf7FFoa @ALABSeries
Glitched Deals @GlitchedDeals
560K Followers 17 Following The pricing error account they tried to shut down… We find the glitches. You make the profit. Turn 🔔 on to not miss deals! (We may earn affiliate commission)
connor @ConnorEatsPants
1.0M Followers 1K Following im live streaming video games right now at https://t.co/aMeEPPqLHr
lex walton vevo offic... @yugiohmachinim2
16K Followers 2K Following email me [email protected] venmo endofgroupsounds https://t.co/GqxgdxLZDT
Canderous Ordoliberal... @butleriano
7K Followers 6K Following he/him/his | direct descendant of @Big12Conference student-athletes | ssri and seed oil defender | mitochondrially challenged | box elder county diaspora
BLOWBACK: NO DAYLIGHT... @blowbackpod
50K Followers 2 Following NO DAYLIGHT out now. https://t.co/e1VesuMNr6. Hosted by @deep_beige and @nkulw. Contact the show: [email protected]
Regional American Foo... @RegionalUSFood
181K Followers 5 Following Shining a light on regional dishes from around the US since 2021 — featured in @Salon, @SFExaminer, @AtlasObscura, and more. Curated by @bromf3. Submit via DM
Mr. Gingles @GinglesMr
8K Followers 170 Following big, smoking, chunky, gulpy, stankin'. father of 2, grandfather of 2,375,803.4
mr. praise, mr. healt... @camtsad
253 Followers 458 Following …understood the gestalt of serious talks. He studied psychology through the mail with Italian masters
craz @crazgrad
601 Followers 565 Following
jacob @thesoggyblanket
81K Followers 237 Following
Patrick Doran @lunch_enjoyer
128K Followers 2K Following i am a 65-year-old man with hip dysplasia like a fat old dog. https://t.co/3FYN8KRt2X @podaboutlist
Neb | 🏳️🌈 @NebsGoodTakes
135K Followers 5K Following gif boy • 26 • he/they • Fortnite Creator Code: NEBSGOODTAKES • PFP by @vyrkolach • Care for Gaza donation link: https://t.co/PRH6uC5cV2
Nuke @megab00f
2K Followers 859 Following
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