Brett Elizabeth @fartmaster5000

Gelatinous orb. Horse assassin. Writer. Official poet laureate of the moon. Unofficial poet laureate of @DennysDiner. riotinyourthroat.com/product/brilli… Fort Wayne, IN Joined March 2009

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Brett Elizabeth @fartmaster5000

2 years ago

Hey remember Pearl Jam? Fuck that band. Worst band ever. #NeverForget

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Brett Elizabeth @fartmaster5000

2 years ago

Science has proven that the highest elevation point in Indiana is the Red Roof Inn at 503 Ley Dr in Angola.

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Brett Elizabeth @fartmaster5000

2 years ago

Peter Dinklage sounds like a cutesy nickname for a penis

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Brett Elizabeth @fartmaster5000

2 years ago

They are gone and now I have to go back to pretending to watch sports

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Brett Elizabeth @fartmaster5000

2 years ago

It’s hard to hear but there might be a person faking illnesses to garner sympathy??

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Brett Elizabeth @fartmaster5000

2 years ago

I’m having dinner alone and there is a table next to me, probably eight people, who clearly all work together and they are talking some SHIT. I’m loving every second even though I don’t know who any of these people are. Denise sucks! Whoever that is!

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Brett Elizabeth @fartmaster5000

2 years ago

Update!! It was a wedding! Only a few employees did not get invited!!

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Rick Steves @RickSteves

2 years ago

I’d like to take a moment to share some important news. I have been diagnosed with prostate cancer. My doctor assures me that, if you’re going to get cancer, this is a good kind to get, and careful scans show no sign of it having spread. There is a clear path forward to getting healthy, and this fall, I’ll be in the hospital for a few days having prostate surgery. My doctor’s fine with me filming two new TV shows in France for the next three weeks, returning home to Edmonds by mid-September. I’ll likely get my surgery in late September, be laid up for a month, and—God willing—be cancer-free and back at it by the end of October. I have great trust in my doctor and in Seattle’s Fred Hutchinson Cancer Center. And I have lots more to be thankful for…including the support of friends and loved ones and a strong faith that I’m in good hands. While the statistics tell me I should be just fine, I’ve been fortunate to have never spent a night in a hospital — and I find myself going into this adventure almost like it’s some amazing, really important trip. I feel good about my positive attitude — and I expect to take home some delightful, if intangible, souvenirs like: appreciating and seeing a vibrancy in the little things; appreciating the goodness in people and the treasure of friends and family; being wowed by modern medicine and the army of amazing, smart, and dedicated people that make it possible; appreciating what a blessing life, health, and this world to enjoy is; and — just in general — being more thankful. I’m looking forward to many more years of happy travels, exciting collaborations, and beautiful friendships. Thank you for your love and support (and any “travel tips” you may have for me as I set off on this journey). Rick PS: I’ll keep you posted.

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Brett Elizabeth @fartmaster5000

2 years ago

Hey @RickSteves , me and my cat Rick Steves are pulling for you. Sending ya thoughts.

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Brett Elizabeth @fartmaster5000

2 years ago

@GatsbyWillDoIt 850

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Brett Elizabeth @fartmaster5000

2 years ago

How embarrassing to be the person who gets paged in the airport that your gate is closing in one minute. Sorry Aaron James, everyone knows you can’t budget your time.