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Fausto @faustomoses

Tweeting from a coffin thirty fathoms beneath the earth's crust. Joined June 2012
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Fausto @faustomoses

14 years ago

@mintmunter But just quiet enough for them to think it could be a trick of the mind.

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Fausto @faustomoses

14 years ago

@mintmunter Yeah. Especially how it often is literal on at least one level.

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Fausto @faustomoses

14 years ago

STDs are a myth perpetuated by the government so we're all wearing little plastic recievers on our cocks when the bombs start falling.

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Fausto @faustomoses

14 years ago

O, how his eyes gleamed out with fearful intensity. O, how his eyes spoke volumes. 'I am a seagull,' said his eyes.

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Fausto @faustomoses

14 years ago

@Paul_Luke What was he doing in Afghanistan? Fighting on the front line?

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Fausto @faustomoses

14 years ago

'Your chopping board contains more germs than your toilet seat.' Presumptuous. You don't know the things I do to my toilet seat.

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Fausto @faustomoses

14 years ago

In the country of the blind the golden retriever is king.

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Fausto @faustomoses

14 years ago

These days a 'lol' is like having your face spat in.

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Fausto @faustomoses

14 years ago

Can't wait for Paralympic Dressage. Horses in wheelchairs are adorable. #Paralympics

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Fausto @faustomoses

14 years ago

Apple Safari is for thugs, dullards, and morons. Fuck Apple Safari.

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Fausto @faustomoses

14 years ago

If you put little handcuffs on a sea otter they drift alone across the Pacific.

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Fausto @faustomoses

14 years ago

Girl, you look like you fell from Heaven. Broken spine. Fractured skull. Face devastated beyond recognition.

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Fausto @faustomoses

14 years ago

'Oh, you're dying. What a fucking Greek tragedy your life is. Take a look around you. There's people dying in the streets.' - My Doctor

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Fausto @faustomoses

14 years ago

#ThingsThatKeepMeAwakeAtNight Moth rape.

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Fausto @faustomoses

14 years ago

#ThingsThatKeepMeAwakeAtNight A guy leaning into my ear meowing like a cat.

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Fausto @faustomoses

14 years ago

#ThingsThatKeepMeAwakeAtNight The thought that somewhere, within a mere range of houses or streets, there is a man furiously masturbating.

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Fausto @faustomoses

14 years ago

Traverse a train, watch signs change from 'on phone, consider other passengers' to 'please be as loud and obnoxious as possible.'

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Fausto @faustomoses

14 years ago

'What? I gotta take my shoes off too? But that's where I've got my bomb!'

Fausto retweeted
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Fili Hernandez @fili652

14 years ago

Mad I stubbed my toe last night shit hurts

Fausto retweeted
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The Girl Next Door @daisa_creel

14 years ago

I stubbed my toe !!!!!!! :(

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