Derek Heckman @herekdeckman
Midwestern writer and east coast schoolmarm. Not coming back for thirty percent. (he/him) Washington, DC Joined March 2016-
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Me as a small town sheriff when the FBI shows up to claim jurisdiction: “Ohhhhh thank god. This is so fucked up. I did NOT want to deal with this”
Travelers from antique lands be like “hey do you wanna hear about two vast and trunkless legs of stone?”
It’s not at good, but I also worked with a 4yo Italian boy for a summer, and whenever he didn’t like something, he would say, “I do not love this”
UH-OH!!!!
Save the cheerleader, save the world. HEROES IS NOW ON NETFLIX IN THE US
Derek Heckman retweeted
HP Lovecraft: “A new cold planet discovered on the edge of the solar system. What dark horrors might there lurk? What scheming evils even now peer down at us?” Me: “Nah, man, that’s just Pluto. Not even really a planet anymore. Hey, this is a cute cat. What’s his name?”
@ohsethy You’re hearing it more and more
Type of heat that makes you want to get together with the far-flung members of your complicated Southern family to bury your iron-willed matriarch
Not shaving before I take my car into the shop so that the car shop guys will take me more seriously
And what about the other twin?
A 'Parent Trap' Sequel is in the works with Lindsay Lohan set to reprise her role. Lisa Ann Walter was also approached to return for the sequel as 'Chessy' Via @sternshow
Today is Social Media Day. What is your favorite social media post of all time?
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