maxwell. @mpb_38
I’m not happy about it either Twitter Joined March 2019-
Tweets183
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Followers155
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Following154
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Likes867
“Okay so we’re going south according to my compass” -ANF
Call me a submarine because I am lost and a concern to society.
Sometimes you get Popeyes. Sometimes Popeyes gets you.
just got a “nice work big guy 👌🏻” none of you plebeians interact with me for the rest of the day.
Oh? An invasive species has disrupted your biome? Sounds like a skill issue. Get off ranked.
Just watched Fast & Furious. My favorite part was when they drove quickly & angrily.
No one even bothered to stop and ask WHY a woodchuck would chuck wood
To whomever keeps the filet-o-fish on the McDonald’s menu: You will pay for your crimes against humanity. Judgement will be swift.
All the kids are telling me to listen to Morgan Wahlberg, “Good Vibrations” is okay AT BEST. Calm down.
Don’t get me wrong, ranch is a delicious condiment. However choosing blue cheese is a sign of maturity. Some of you just need to come to terms with that.
maxwell. retweeted
(At my boss's funeral kneeling and whispering at coffin): "Who's thinking outside the box now Gary?"
Honestly, the placental mammals have had their time in the sun. Let’s let the marsupials drive the bus for a bit.
Saw a bald Eagle this morning. Now have a burning desire to strangle a Canada goose.
👩🏻: “I understand your fear of apes, but I just don’t think the uprising is gonna happen” THIS is exactly what they WANT, you’re playing RIGHT into their elongated hands!!
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