Lizardo D Ammit @randomover2
Made from real cheese. Not intended for use as a dental drill. Car guy, for life. Also, I'm bully-proof and enjoy ham and werewolves. x.com/search/from:@r… One click off Dead Center Joined December 2012-
Tweets83K
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Followers5K
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Following3K
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Likes157K
Spotted in the wild. The VERY rare Trans-Ham. @Bob_Janke
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Lizardo D Ammit retweeted
Thank you, waiter. The duck was very daffy.
Lizardo D Ammit retweeted
Thank god Cats can still say whatever they want. Even white ones.
Lizardo D Ammit retweeted
I had a huge chunk of red velvet cake with a cup of milk
Lizardo D Ammit retweeted
My toxic trait is letting my phone die, charging it for 3 minutes, then acting shocked when it’s still at 4%.
Lizardo D Ammit retweeted
We'll be old friends until we are senile Then we'll be new friends
Lizardo D Ammit retweeted
If you ever survive a lightning strike, you’ll need a memorable thing to say afterward. Suggestions: “Gadzooks!” “Shazbot!” “Kiss my grits, Mel!” (Exclamation points optional.)
@DamonHunzeker Has anyone seen Mike Hunt?
Lizardo D Ammit retweeted
I used AI too, you lazy bastard
Lizardo D Ammit retweeted
The jerk store called they're running out of chicken
I like red rubber mulch because I can't afford and lack patience to fill the squid mantle with a rich filling, braise it slowly in an expensive wine to elevate high-end muckety muck.
Lizardo D Ammit retweeted
Boomer in a Chevy Silverado would be a good album name
Lizardo D Ammit retweeted
I’m just ridin’ the waves now. I don’t have a plan, the plan has me.
Lizardo D Ammit retweeted
Take hydration breaks at the self-checkout. Become ungovernable.
Lizardo D Ammit retweeted
I had to buy new shoes yesterday (I like Vans even though they have downsides) so I went to the store and the girl brought out the shoes I asked for plus two others she thought I'd like and BOTH PAIRS WERE THOSE GIANT BLACK OLD MAN SHOES
Lizardo D Ammit retweeted
Dirty deeds done for cheese
Lizardo D Ammit retweeted
don't look back in anger when you can look forward with crippling anxiety
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