Šalamala @salamala
En vic na dan zadovolji dnevno potrebo organizma po vitaminu C. Slovenia Joined February 2009-
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Dva tabornika sta se izgubila v gozdu: “Trikrat ustreli v zrak, da pridejo po naju!” “Prav.” Čez deset minut: "Ustreli še trikrat, očitno nihče ni slišal.” “Ok.” Čez dvajset minut: “Še vedno ni nikogar. Ustreli še trikrat.” “Ne morem, imam samo še eno puščico.”
"Se tvoja hčerka še vedno ni poročila?" "Ne, je preveč inteligentna, da bi vzela tistega norca, ki bi jo hotel za ženo."
Kako nagovoriš blondinko, da se poroči s teboj? Rečeš ji, da je noseča.
Kako veš, da je otrok v puberteti? Ko neha spraševati od kod je prišel in noče povedati kam gre.
Zvečer se v postelji mož strastno privije k ženi: "Brez spodnjic sem..." Ona, napol v spanju: "Pusti me spat. Zjutraj ti bom ene oprala."
"Kaj je narobe?" "Nima veze, nič..." "Povej, kaj je problem!" "Ne bom!" "Prosim, povej, kaj je narobe.." "Ti dobro veš, kaj je narobe!!"
Ženska leti na luno: "Huston, imamo problem."
Stvari, ki bi se jih morali ljudje naučiti od psov: lojalnosti, zaupanja, ljubezni. Kaj smo se naučil mi? Položaj...
Janez se zvečer vrne iz službe: "Kaj bo za večerjo?" Žena zapeljivo : "Mogoče jaz?" Janez: "Saj veš, da ne smem nič mastnega."
Pesimist vidi samo temo v tunelu, optimist vidi luč na koncu tunela, realist vidi luči vlaka, strojevodja pa vidi tri norce na tirih.
Policist uči sina: “Na avtobusu so trije potniki. Na postaji izstopi pet potnikov. Koliko potnikov mora vstopiti, da bo avtobus prazen?”
Razgovor dveh švedskih nogometašev: - Hi. Where are you from? - Hi. I'm from Bosnia. And you? - I'm from Germany. - Sereš? - Majke mi!
Smrt potrka pri Mujotu. Mujo: "Tko si ti?" Smrt: "Ja sam ti smrt, i došla sam po tvoju dušu." Mujo se obrne: "Fato dušo, netko te traži!"
Disciplinska: "Zakaj ste ubili zajca, če pa niste član naše lovske družine?" "Zato ker je jedel moje zelje, čeprav ni član moje družine."
Zakaj Gorenjci jedo regrat šele takrat, ko ima rumene cvetove? “Da jim na solato ni potrebno rezati jajc.”
Fotograf, ki je fotografiral poročno slovesnost, je dejal: "Oprostite, ali smem zdaj fotografirati srečen par - nevesto in njeno mamo?
Kaj je neučakanost? Dolenjec, ki jé grozdje.
Zakaj duhovniki nimajo žene? Ker ne smejo imeti hudiča v hiši.
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