Sam💐 @samenstrom
Oh what so only roosters are allowed to start the day with screaming? Caledon, Ontario Joined March 2014-
Tweets4K
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Followers295
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Following300
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Likes9K
Sam💐 retweeted
I feel like I missed my opportunity to find someone to date so now I have to wait until the first wave of divorce hits
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Sam💐 retweeted
gooooob morning. the first time you wake up. could be a mistake. it’s best to fall back to sleep. just to be safe
@SamSmooore Don’t forget that distinct coffee pee
Sam💐 retweeted
I have the coolest dog
Sam💐 retweeted
my brother: *breathes* my mom: 😍😍😍😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😘😘😘😘👨🏻⚕️👨🏻⚕️👨🏻⚕️👨🏻⚕️💆🏻♂️💆🏻♂️💆🏻♂️🎉🎉🎉🎉🎁🎁🎁🎁🥳🥳🥳🥳☺️☺️☺️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥺🥺🥺🥺
Sam💐 retweeted
girls who can kill a whole jar of dill pickles in one sitting are the hottest bitches in the world
Sam💐 retweeted
[first day as a priest] guy: father i must confess my sins me: what's the tea my child
My happy dance when I finally get my way
Success is nothing unless you have someone there to share it with
Sam💐 retweeted
Idk who needs to hear this but bitch you suck at money management. Stop spending your money on dumb shit, stop impulse buying, and most importantly cook at home and stop eating out... bitch
Sam💐 retweeted
the human seems distracted. so i put my paw on their knee. and now they know. that whatever it is. we’re in it together
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