Sam LiButti @samlibutti

Los Angeles, CA. Stand Up Comic. Writer for @realpunknews @HardDriveMag & The Inner Loop. @samlibutti : ig mcdonaldshamburger.com Los Angeles, CA Joined October 2017

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Sam LiButti @samlibutti

6 days ago

Do you think Anthony Fantano was mad about Halsey going through chemo because it gave her a more valid reason for being bald?

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Sam LiButti @samlibutti

3 weeks ago

I’ll take a big shit and then judge dudes who look like they weigh what I weighed before I took the shit #fatonfatcrime

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Sam LiButti @samlibutti

2 months ago

Going to hardcore shows and tapping everyone in the pit on the shoulder and asking them if they can move the pit over one foot so I can see better

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Sam LiButti @samlibutti

3 months ago

Just woke up from a dream where Shaquille O’Neal was driving me to the smokeshop to buy Kratom

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Sam LiButti @samlibutti

7 months ago

Me: God people are so Tribalistic, what a silly instinct Also me: I hope a plane carrying the Dallas Cowboys crashes directly into a field containing the entire Philadelphia Eagles organization

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November should be reserved for one last chance to enjoy stuff like pumpkin patches without the threat of a theatre kid in a mask yelling at you Haunted houses should be converted to cozy fall houses where each room features progressively larger and more alarming cornucopias

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Sam LiButti @samlibutti

8 months ago

There’s this weird period in like the 80s and 90s where in a movie if a person is holding a cell phone, it means they are a complete piece of shit who hates their kids.

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Sam LiButti @samlibutti

9 months ago

Just saw #HIM & if they want to realistically show how someone like Patrick Mahomes gets his power the twist at the end should be that it’s a cult of biased referees

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Sam LiButti @samlibutti

10 months ago

I’m trying to figure out how I can make a meme of the rizzler posted up with the sniper just waddling away at an immense pace outrunning the fbi

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Sam LiButti @samlibutti

10 months ago

@pentheking It’s a worked beer can shot to promote a wrestling match. This kid is old enough to know that wrestling isn’t real. No excuse for being a dumbass and killing someone because you’re stupid

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Sam LiButti @samlibutti

10 months ago

@FinalBossXL Yeah I’m not taking his word for this and even if that’s true, if you’re 25 years old you’re old enough to know that 15 all out below shots to the head of an unconscious man can kill him. No excuse

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Sam LiButti @samlibutti

10 months ago

@Attractantz He did a worked move on him to promote a wrestling match. Don’t comment unless you know wrestling. This kid had too much of an ego to not realize it’s not fucking real just like you, because you’re the same type of dipshit. He should be locked up being an idiot is not an excuse

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Sam LiButti @samlibutti

10 months ago

I’d like to welcome you all to the 10th annual meeting of the Pedophile Defeaters Squad, as you know we have just elected our new leader Pedophile “has sex with children” Rapeington

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Sam LiButti @samlibutti

11 months ago

Tim Robinson is the angel on your shoulder telling you the jack off, Connor O’Malley is the devil on your other shoulder telling you to jack on in an entirely different more devious way

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Sam LiButti @samlibutti

11 months ago

A fitting tribute 🫡

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Sam LiButti @samlibutti

11 months ago

#HulkHogan Dies Doing What He Loved, Over Shadowing Other More Talented People

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Sam LiButti @samlibutti

11 months ago

Why tf does that picture of the #Coldplay cheaters look like a vision appearing to the wicked witch in her orb (professional artist rendering below for comparison)

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Sam LiButti @samlibutti

a year ago

He looks like a Tim Robinson character who is dying but can't afford to go to the doctor because he keeps spending his money on newer more elaborate fedoras

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Sam LiButti @samlibutti

a year ago

Give a man a femboy and he’ll cum for a day, teach a man to email and he can surf the cyber super highway for strange boy cock and balls for an eternity -Cumfucius