MrD @solace81

PWay Engineer England, United Kingdom Joined December 2010

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MrD @solace81

4 weeks ago

@Mothematiks What in the El Nino heat wave is this. Book him to take a day off pliz.

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Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees. $30 per seat per month. $1.4 million annually. I called it "digital transformation." The board loved that phrase. They approved it in eleven minutes. No one asked what it would actually do. Including me. I told everyone it would "10x productivity." That's not a real number. But it sounds like one. HR asked how we'd measure the 10x. I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards." They stopped asking. Three months later I checked the usage reports. 47 people had opened it. 12 had used it more than once. One of them was me. I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds. It took 45 seconds. Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations. But I called it a "pilot success." Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail. The CFO asked about ROI. I showed him a graph. The graph went up and to the right. It measured "AI enablement." I made that metric up. He nodded approvingly. We're "AI-enabled" now. I don't know what that means. But it's in our investor deck. A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT. I said we needed "enterprise-grade security." He asked what that meant. I said "compliance." He asked which compliance. I said "all of them." He looked skeptical. I scheduled him for a "career development conversation." He stopped asking questions. Microsoft sent a case study team. They wanted to feature us as a success story. I told them we "saved 40,000 hours." I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up. They didn't verify it. They never do. Now we're on Microsoft's website. "Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot." The CEO shared it on LinkedIn. He got 3,000 likes. He's never used Copilot. None of the executives have. We have an exemption. "Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction." I wrote that policy. The licenses renew next month. I'm requesting an expansion. 5,000 more seats. We haven't used the first 4,000. But this time we'll "drive adoption." Adoption means mandatory training. Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches. But completion will be tracked. Completion is a metric. Metrics go in dashboards. Dashboards go in board presentations. Board presentations get me promoted. I'll be SVP by Q3. I still don't know what Copilot does. But I know what it's for. It's for showing we're "investing in AI." Investment means spending. Spending means commitment. Commitment means we're serious about the future. The future is whatever I say it is. As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

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MrD @solace81

a year ago

@matigary Interesting how these stories read like the reverse of what diasporans are now doing. Going to Europe and starting afresh etc.

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Ranga.🇿🇼 @RangaMberi

2 years ago

Clearly, Cde, you’ve never sat in a 2024 Range Rover Long Wheelbase, gliding from Glen Lorne to your farm, full of free equipment, on the phone to some chap pledging an ‘incentive’ for your signature, occasionally gazing out your tinted windows to watch the poverty whizzing by!

Kuda Mugova 🇿🇼 @kmugova

2 years ago

Why do our leaders focus more on political scheming rather than on economic planning? Why is power retention the focus of everything when they still have 3 years to go?

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MrD @solace81

2 years ago

@exoticlemon @FootballFunnnys burlingtonbooks.es/blog/place-nam….

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Munya Chawawa @munyachawawa

2 years ago

The British press after seeing Wicked 🧙‍♀️🗞️ #CynthiaErivo #wicked

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Matt Turck @mattturck

2 years ago

A classic by now, so perfect lol

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Ranga.🇿🇼 @RangaMberi

2 years ago

In which I got bored and wrote a long rant: “There was never a savior from SADC, or from anywhere else. We have a main actor syndrome, and it’s time to let it go.” newzwire.live/opinion-that-m…

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MrD @solace81

2 years ago

@KingJayZim Zimfest 10yrs back

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(((Dan Hodges))) @DPJHodges

2 years ago

I don’t think we fully appreciate the significance of Keir Starmer and Rishi Sunak calmly swapping sides in the House of Commons chamber and conducting a discussion like this. In a lot of countries this doesn’t happen without bodies in the streets.

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Jonathan Pie @JonathanPieNews

2 years ago

Looking back on 14 years of the Tories is like looking back at the traumatising post-vindaloo shit you just did in the toilet.

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Michael Spicer @MrMichaelSpicer

2 years ago

Gareth Southgate Masterclass

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MrD @solace81

2 years ago

@IanDunt We need PR.

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The Exploding Heads @Exploding_Heads

2 years ago

📞"Starmer hasn't got a chance! He's focusing on trivial things like an NHS in crisis, sewage in rivers, record numbers of small boats and children in poverty. But Sunak...Sunak knows what a woman is!" Colin from Portsmouth is right behind Rishi Sunak, Westminster's Susan Hall

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Munya Chawawa @munyachawawa

2 years ago

POV: Guys starting a podcast in 2024. 🎙️🫨 @JordanPeele, I’m ready to talk. 😂

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Ranga.🇿🇼 @RangaMberi

2 years ago

In which I take an imaginary journey into my country’s past and discover a scary fact — things can get worse. “Dear Zimbabweans, hear me out. What if these are actually the ‘good old days’?” newzwire.live/dear-zimbabwea…