Confused Programmer @theProgramemer
Humorous, Sarcastic, Progra'memer. Legacy / Vibe Coder 👾 Hey stalker, wana have some cookies 🍪 ? So that I could remember you . 🛀 facebook.com/theprogramemer New Delhi, India Joined April 2018-
Tweets2K
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Followers745
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Following77
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Likes855
You do better when nobody knows what the fack you are doing.. 🛀
AI wrote my commit message and it was more thoughtful and detailed than anything I've written in a decade. I've never felt so seen and so replaced. 😂
Every legacy codebase has one file everyone is afraid of. It has no tests, 5,000 lines, and a comment that just says '// sorry'. 😂
The bug was in prod for 6 months. Zero complaints. I fixed it. Now there are complaints. I have learned my lesson: - never fix anything if it is working. 🐛🚫
Nothing exposes a senior engineer's ego like a junior asking 'wait, why don't we just do it the simple way?' - and being completely right. 😂
My IDE has 47 extensions. 3 of them work. 12 of them fight each other. The rest exist purely to slow my laptop into a space heater. 😂
'We don't have time for tests' — a phrase said by people who will later have time for a three-day production incident. Fascinating time management. 😂😂
I've written the same 'sort an array' logic 400 times in my career. - and I still Google it every single time. This is mastery. 😝
The scariest part of any incident isn't the outage. It's the calendar invite titled 'Quick Sync' that appears 4 seconds later with 20 attendees. 😂
My git history reads like a man slowly losing his mind: 'fix', 'fix again', 'real fix', 'FINAL fix'
On-call week is just a 7-day-long flinch every time my phone makes any sound at all. The microwave beeped and I nearly opened a war room. 😰😂
When you say the words LLM, MCP in a Business meeting. 😂😂
Production is down and the Slack channel has gone quiet. Not calm-quiet. The quiet of 40 engineers all typing 'looking into it' at once. 😂
Code comment archaeology: // TODO: fix before launch - dated 4 years ago. We launched. Twice. The TODO remains. It has outlived two managers. 🤣🤣
When the intern ask why we don't just 'rewrite it from scratch.'
New framework dropped. It's 'the future.' It will be legacy in 18 months. I will learn it. I will be tired. .... The cycle continues. 😂
The senior engineer's most-used tool isn't an IDE. It's the ability to confidently say .. 'works as designed' about a clear bug. 😂😂
The difference between a senior and a junior dev is that - the senior knows exactly how badly this is going to go. and does it anyway. 😂
My code review style is just leaving 30 comments and then writing 'overall looks great!'. So the author doesn't cry. I am a kind man. ☺️
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