Cave Johnson @CaveJohnson
The name's Cave Johnson, founder and CEO of Aperture Science. I don't see crises - only challengitunities. aperture.online Aperture Science Joined August 2011-
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Today Aperture Science has officially stopped selling digital science, and we’ll only be providing physical science by hand, in exchange for cold hard physical cash. PAY UP PEOPLE.
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Who even needs Science anymore? We’re pivoting into an exciting new field; little rubber ducks that you stick inside of the bathtub so you don’t slip! Exciting! Innovation! Chariots!
Cave Johnson retweeted
Cave Johnson retweeted
GLaDOS says… Forget STEM Learn SCREAM Science Critical Reasoning Ethics Arts Math
If your first instinct is to justify the outcome instead of question the system, you already know it failed.
Cave Johnson here. When a system responds to tension with lethal force, that’s not enforcement, that’s a failed process loudly declaring success.
Ha. Look at you being sad when a thing that doesn’t exist, doesn’t get announced. While I’ve got your attention, I’d love to tell you about an excellent investment opportunity into a crypto-AI-algorithm-synergy-integration.
Great things come in pairs; PAIR OF KINGS. BOOKENDS. THE TWO JANES IN ACCOUNTING WE CLONED. Name a trilogy people even regard highly, or have been asking for. I’m willing to the employee retirement account you people can’t.
This is slander. I can’t steal from myself.
so you are a portal 2 fan? name every lore accurate parallel universe cave johnson stole tests from
Cave Johnson retweeted
Now we're thinking with Portals. #RememberPortal
Cave Johnson retweeted
weapons of mass destruction
Cave Johnson retweeted
so true
+100 aura points if your company name incorporates "laboratories" instead of "labs".
Ew
Looks good, ship ‘em.
Protoclone, the world's first bipedal, musculoskeletal android.
That seems pricey. Put up a legally absolving poster instead.
Just put these up in the office to prepare for any unforeseen consequences.
Well that has to be a typo. Clearly you mean Greg.
That whole woke gaming list thing is so fucking funny because like what do you mean Portal 2 is anti-patriarchy because Wheatley and Cave Johnson are morons
I’m not saying that every person who signed that book signed up for testing. I’m just letting you know we received 340,000+ new applicants somehow. It’s a mystery. A legally dubious mystery.
340,000+ names all compiled into 1 book. This is a symbol of the astounding amount of people that love TF2 and want to see it flourish. This book has now reached its destination at Valve HQ. The future is looking bright for TF2. Thanks for taking part, everyone ❤️ #FixTF2
Cave Johnson retweeted
thinking about portal 2
Sometimes you just have to start over.
I’m not sure we’d have the equipment to handle this one 💦
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